Book 9: Chapter 11


    Vyvyan wore a smile as she stroked my head and asked, Son, Mommy was very happy to receive your letter, but Mommy wants to know what you called Mommy here for. I believe that you didnt want to just simply invite Mommy to a banquet, right?


    I, did, indeed have something very important to say, and theres no way that Mom doesnt know about it. However, Mom might not be aware that I already know about it. I believe that my two moms will still stubbornly carry out their n even if somebody tried to advise otherwise. Vyvyan will never back down when ites to me, while Elizabeth started a war for me a decade ago, so she can do it again now. Consequently, if I dont step up and let the war break out, then the disaster from a decade ago will repeat itself.


    <em>Ten years ago, Troy was just eight and didnt understand things, but ten yearster, Im Troy. I understand war, so I will not let my moms wage another war for this sort of reason.</em>


    <em>I believe that Vyvyan took the initiative to make me the Elven King so that I can return to the elven side in peace. The incident with Alice caused Vyvyan to lose all trust in Elizabeth, as well as humanity. Perhaps the continuous attempts on my life have deterred her from wanting to let me to continue living in humanitysnds. Vyvyan wanted for me to return to the elves and live in peace from the beginning. I wont be questioned by others in the elvennds thanks to my mana purity and lineage. Moreover, I was guaranteed to be safe with Vyvyan, whos a demi-god, there to protect me.</em>


    <em>Vyvyan mustve perceived everything I did as a childs wilful desire to chase a dream, I guess. However, I ended up tripping and getting hurt; she, therefore, must think that the childish games should end now simrly to when its time for a child thats yed enough toe home. Thats why she wants to use the Imperial Capital and Elven King throne to chain me so that Id stay there where its safe and not leave again.</em>


    <em>But I didnt do what I did for the throne in either nation. I just want to prove myself for Mera and Luna. Im not ying nor am I chasing something deliberately because Im wilful. I just want to achieve salvation for myself so that I can face their graves.</em>


    <em>I cant return. If I return, Ill never get to leave again. Although I can face Mera, I cant face Luna. Im certain Luna didnt want to see me be a man that fled from bloodshed and wounds. She always apanied me on my long journeys withoutints or regrets. If I run away now, wouldnt I have let herpany go to waste and let her down?</em>


    <em>Everybody dies, but not everybody lived. I should have a longer lifespan than that of a humans. Therefore, I should live a life thats different. Even if my life isnt longer and. in fact, shorter, I can still leave my mark in the short time after transmigrating.</em>


    Mom, I am, indeed, looking for you for something, but its pointless to speak to you about it alone, for this requires the two involved parties to agree


    Impossible.


    Vyvyan resolutely cut me off before I could even finish. She released me, and then looked into my eyes with anger, I know what you want to say, but Mommy wont back down on this matter. Mommy isnt just trying to make you seed the throne. If Mommy wanted to keep you by Mommys side all the time, Mommy wouldve done that already. Its just that Mommy has no faith for humanity. Elizabeth kept iming shed protect you, but whenever was she able to? You got hurt over and over in humanitysnds. You got another scar on your hand before the one on your chest disappeared. Had Mommy been just a momentte, would you still be here? Well, you do never consider Mommy when you dive into danger You never consider how scared and hurt Mommy was


    Vyvyans sobs crept into her voice as she finished up. I didnt say anything. I just tightly held Moms hands. I was aware that I made Mommy Vyvyan worry more than just once or twice. Mommy Vyvyan must be tired of being worried over and over. Her persistence to have me return to the elvennds is just the way any mother would react. Mothers want to keep their children by their side so that they can keep their children away from danger.


    I do remember the saying Our bodiesto every hair and bit of skinare received by us from our parents, and we must not presume to injure or wound them. The saying goes as so since your parents would be very worried if you got hurt, which is not how you show filial piety. A little extreme it may be, but it describes Vyvyan perfectly. I promised Mommy Vyvyan over and over that I wouldnt let myself be in danger, yet I let myself get covered in wounds every single time.


    <em>I want to realise my dream, but I have never considered how sad Mommy Vyvyan would be.</em>


    Sorry mom


    Mommy doesnt want your apology!!


    Vyvyan grabbed my hand. She used so much strength that I could virtually see her white joints on my fingers. Her voice and body were both shaky. Anxiety and her pleas surfaced in her blue eyes. She looked at me and while trembling, sobbed, Mommy wants you toe home. Youve apologised too many times already. Mommy believed you every time. Mommy went soft and let you go every time, but youd return to Mommy covered in wounds every time, nheless. Mommy is tired. Mommy is honestly tired. Son, if you are truly apologetic, if you truly dont want Mommys heart to ache so much,e home with Mommy, okay? Mommy doesnt want anything. Mommy just wants you toe home


    I didnt dare to look at Moms eyes. I truly didnt dare to.


    <em>I believe that if I were to look at Moms eyes, I would definitely agree to her request. I cant reveal my stance right now. Actually, I cant agree to return. If I agree now, Mom will take me home for sure.</em>


    <em>But my heart is, in all honesty, throbbing. Im truly sorry to Mommy Vyvyan. Mommy Vyvyan may be a little strange, but she truly only ever thought of me, alone. Mommy Elizabeth thinks about others and her empire, but Mommy Vyvyan only ever thought about me, alone. Why did I scare her over and over again?</em>


    <em>My life isnt mine alone. My life is connected to Mommy Vyvyans. Im Mommy Vyvyans whole world. If something happens to me, I can only presume that Mommy Vyvyans entire world would copse.</em>


    <em>But still, I cant just leave this way. Im very sorry to Mommy Vyvyan; nevertheless, shes not the only one in my world. My world alsoprises of Nier, Lucia, Luna and Freya. The world I perceive isnt just the area around the forest, but a wider and further unknownnd.</em>


    <em>If Vyvyan hypothetically wasnt my mom, but my lover, I might give up everything for love.</em>


    Sorry Mom


    Mommy doesnt want your apology!!!!!


    But all I can do right now is give you my apology, Mom!!


    I pressed my arms firmly on Vyvyans shoulders and looked at her teary blues eyes that were akin to the sea. In a loud voice and sobbing tone, I said, Mom I cant promise you anything right now I can only give you an apology Please I beg you let me apologise I promise that once I finish what I want to finish, I will definitely stay by your side. I promise. You have lots of time, so please give me a bit more time


    Vyvyan froze up as she looked at my face. It was the first time I saw her helpless gaze. I didnt know she had such a pitiful gaze. Mommy Vyvyan quivered as she lowered her head. She grabbed my arm tightly and wept. She thumped her head on my chest hard as though she was resisting the urge to give me a thrashing. I kept silent. I tightly hugged Mommy Vyvyan in order to let her feel my strength and warmth


    Please Please Son My brother has made me wait for so long Dont make me wait for so long, too Mommy does have lots of time, yes but Mommy doesnt want to wait all alone


    Despite the timing, despite how sad she was and despite the countless number of times she prepared herself mentally to persist with her n, she still ended up giving in when she was in front of me


    <em>I truly truly am so apologetic to Mommy Vyvyan</em>


    <em>If I have a chance and if I still have time, then I will definitely return to Mommy Vyvyans side and be her son forever. I will make up the time she spent waiting for me. I will apany her through the years and use the remainder of my life to erase my wilful agendas that I forced on her</em>