Book 7: Chapter 33


    I never thought wed go through what Tarak described right away. We dragged the corpses to another spot and buried them before setting up our camp. We have the dead to thank as they helped set up a prototype camp for us. We lost one man. He unfortunately passed away after being hit with a bullet during the battle while another got hurt and fell to the ground. The injured one made me feel worse than the one who died because I had to send another two to escort him out of the desert. That means I just lost four men over the one battle. Though our losses were more than eptable and it was an excellent battle, I lost my elites. That made me really sad.


    I did say that I didnt have back-up. I dont have arge group of substitutes like the Valkyries. Theyre my only men. Before I be sessful, itll be very difficult for me to find a group of soldiers as loyal as them. Therefore, losing even one of them really hurt me.


    But what made me hurt most right now was Luna. Seeing her lie on the armys bed barely breathing, unable to respond to me regardless of how I called out to her hurt me. I held her hand tightly. Her hands were so cold it was akin to holding a block of ice.


    Lorana looked at me sternly with her arms folded and desperately said, Your majesty, you dont have to hesitate anymore. If you want Luna to live, you must sleep with her. Luna is very important to you, right? What are you going to do on the full-moon night without her?


    But but we dont need to resort to this method do we? Cant we just kiss?


    Lorana scrubbed her head like a maniac then pointed at Luna and eximed, Does it look like Luna can kiss with you right now?! She cant breathe right now and you want to kiss?! Are you trying to kill her?! Theres no other way, your majesty. Do you not realise how much danger Luna is in right now?! Do you want to save her or not?!


    No no I do want to save Luna! I must save her! There must be a way! There must be a way! There must be!


    I hugged Luna and kissed her lips firmly. However, Luna didnt give any reaction. It was just as Lorana said. Luna isnt even conscious right now. Doing this is the same as blocking off herst airway.


    Lunas expression showed she was suffering painfully. Her weak breaths got blocked by me. I desperately kissed her lips doing my absolute best to transfer my mana to her. Lorana grabbed my hair and yanked me away. She then took Luna away from me. She looked at me enraged and shouted, Are you trying to kill her?! Didnt I just say that you would only kill her like that?! Can you calm down?! Why do you refuse to sleep with her?! You two have mustve done it before, havent you?! Why are you holding out now?! What exactly are you resisting against?!


    I I


    I looked at Luna in Loranas arms nkly. Lunay in her arms powerlessly. Forget opening her eyes, I almost suffocated her. My heart shuddered as Lunas small body trembled intensely. It was like Lunas every breath brought all of my nerves along for the ride. I looked at Luna in pain. Every cell in my body was crying like all of my meridians were going to crumble to bits.


    I dont want I dont want I dont want to see someone by my side die in front of me again. I dont want it to happen again I dont want to I never want to!


    But why dont I want to do it with Luna? Its not our first time. Weve done it multiple times before. Why am I against it now? No, not now. I was against it after I got married


    Why? Why did I be reluctant to even meet Luna after I got married? Why do I have these feelings where I want to run away? Why am I so against making contact with Luna? Just why?


    I I


    Lorana looked at me and thundered, Just what are you doing, your majesty?! Its just a process to save her, so why are you running away from it?! Are you concerned about betraying Nier and Lucia?! Why do you feel that youre betraying them?! Its because you have feelings for Luna! Its because you have feelings for Luna but never admitted it! You wouldnt be so hesitant if you didnt have feelings for her! Did you want to give her a title afterwards?!!


    Lorana ced Luna gently onto the bed then looked at me and firmly said, Your majesty, if you have feelings for Luna, toss that crooked sense of loyalty in love aside for now. This is not the time for you to be hung up on your love or whatnot. You dont need to give Luna a title afterwards either. I wouldnt think Luna hopes to be given a legitimate title. But right now, she needs your help to live!


    Really?


    <em>Your majesty, with you by my side, the stars in the sky are always so pretty. </em>


    I honestly never said that.


    Luna looked so blissful when she said that. Her eyes shimmered like crystals under the light of the stars. They shined no less bright than the stars in the sky. Her faint smile of bliss when she said that made my heart beat faster.


    Luna has been by my side for a long time. Shes as close as Nier is to me. As a matter of fact, shes by my side even when Nier isnt. I kept saying how I didnt know how I felt toward Luna but I think I understand them a little now. And that is, I like Luna.


    We both need each other. We both need warmth from each other. We stargazed at the same stars together but why did I always avoid my feelings for her? I like Luna so why do I avoid her gaze? Luna and I should be most aware of our feelings for each other. Were also aware that we cant be together.


    Theres no way Elizabeth and Vyvyan will ept Luna. Luna herself also knows that she cant be with me. Thats why she chose to be my personal servant to stay by my side and look after me. I avoided Luna because I felt sorry for not being able to reciprocate her love for me and I was running away from the guilt of betraying Nier and Lucia.


    Am I going to continue running away like this? Am I going to let Luna die in front of me because of my guilt and apologetic feelings? I cant give Luna a title. I cant give her anything in this desert filled with hopelessness and ughter. Luna was once a public tool people used to vent and relieve themself. If I dont give her a title, will her history repeat itself for her?


    I didnt save Luna just to make her relive her past!


    But right now, Luna


    I understand now


    I clenched my teeth, looked at Lorana and softly said, Please leave I shall save Luna. I wont let Luna die in front of me. I have to make sure she gets through this even if shes displeased or hasints about what I do. I would rather she p me across the face than let her leave me like this.


    Is that so? Lorana nodded then walked to the tents entrance. She then turned her head around and added, I believe that she wont hit you orin. You two are like Tarak and Nara after all, except that your fate is a little sadder