Chapter 131: Tom''s breakdown (slightly +18)
"Are you okay?" udia asked as soon as the two of them sat down in a separate room.
"Do I look like that?" Tom replied with a question on his own, raising his eyes to the girl only to lower them down a momentter.
The revtion was just too big. Too big for Tom to swallow just like that.
"No, you don''t," udia said, lowering her head. "But still, I''m sorry," she added, taking a step closer and sitting beside the man. "I was jealous, and I assumed quite a lot of things, pushing my anger and insecurity on you," she said, clearly trying to get Tom''s mind off the massive news.
"Sorry, but I''m not ready to talk yet," Tom replied, cutting the topic.
''This should be good news,'' he thought, clenching his teeth. ''After all, I have a confirmation that father is actually alive,'' he thought, trying to look for the positives.
But this situation was just unreal. Even if Tom couldn''t really make any long-reaching guesses about the details, he couldn''t really believe the wall he just faced.
"Come here," udia whispered, reaching with her hands and grabbing Tom''s head. She then moved her upper body a little closer, only to rest Tom''s face right in her chest. "I really don''t know what to say right now, so that''s the best I can do for you," she muttered, running her fingers through Tom''s hair.
''What am I supposed to do now?'' Tom thought, barely noticing what was happening to his body. ''Just go all in and look for him?'' He attempted to shake his head, only to rub his face against udia''s bust. ''No, that won''t do,'' he bit his lips, ''we still don''t know how powerful people are on the battlefield,'' he thought, unsure what he should do.
For the first time in a very long time, Tom was genuinely lost. For the first time in a very long time, he couldn''t see a path for him to follow.
''Howe I could throw a gauntlet to the greatest and mightiest organization in the world with ease but be stopped by an actual news about my father?'' he asked himself, trying to find a reason in the entire thing.
"Isn''t it great, though?" udia said, still trying to somehow cheer him up. But Tom was too focused on his own thoughts to even notice her voice. "I mean, all the way up until this point, you had no idea whether your father was even alive. Even if you don''t really know what to make out of what we learned, aren''t we at least one step closer to finding him?" she asked, even though Tom wasn''t in a state to reply.
For a moment, the two just remained in the same position. udia continued to gently rub Tom''s scalp while the young man continued to battle with his own thoughts and doubts.
"I have no idea what I should do now," he muttered, revealing the inner state of his mind for the first time.
Even since udia was low-key forced to follow him, Tom made sure to always appear as the oasis of calmness, always ready to reassure the girl in a potential moment of doubt. Yet, against all odds, he was the one to break his mental fortitude first.
Tom was perfectly aware of this fact, making it even harder for him to pull himself together. As if he was stuck in some kind of limbo, he was aware of how whining like he was doing right now wasn''t helping, yet he was unable to stop.
"Okay, that''s it," udia whispered in a decisive tone before pulling Tom back on the bed.
Shaken by the sudden movement, the young man only managed to gasp for air before his head once againnded on the soft flesh of the girl''s chest.
"What are you doing?" he asked, momentarily forced out of his limbo.
"Listen here, you little," she muttered, pressing on the back of Tom''s head, forcing his face even closer against her breasts. "You don''t need to take everything on your shoulders. I know that''s what every man in the world want''s to be, but you are not some kind of hero to tackle all the world''s problems all on your own!" she said. Yet, despite how stern her voice was, her embrace remained as supportive as it was before.
"I''m not trying to save the world," Tom protested, confused by the sudden usation. "I''m just lost. I was so eager to find my father, only to find out that he is currently heralding a massive war. The same war that might make it impossible for us to go and find him!" he said, barely stopping himself from shouting.
From Tom''s perspective, everything went terribly wrong. He made the massive ruckus at the guild mostly in hopes of setting the foundations for making a name for himself. It was something he deemed necessary to be influential enough to even begin a serious search for his father.
But as it turned out, he was toote. While he was busy believing that his father was gone, while he was busy ying Dungeons Online like the massive crowd of clueless yers all around the world, his father was leading a second life in this world.
''Did he leave me just like that?'' A thought appeared in Tom''s head, finally striking right at the core of his confusion. ''Was I looking for someone that no longer cares about me?'' he asked himself, tightening his fingers into fists.
''Was it all meaningless?'' Tom thought, closing his eyes and allowing his face to sink into udia''s soft bosom. ''Did he even want me to find him?'' he continued to ask himself the questions that were insanely painful yet necessary for him to move on.
"I think you are overthinking this," udia said, calmly epting Tom''s need for intimacy. Rather than shrieking, pushing him away, or even restraining how much he could immerse himself in her flesh, she epted him all, all the while trying to figure out a way to help his mental self. "The truth is, we don''t know anything. Like, isn''t it strange that one of your father''s followers is going against him now?" udia asked only for her body to suddenly freeze. "Wait, what did you say that girl told you back in the dungeon?" she suddenly asked, grabbing the sides of Tom''s face and forcefully lifting his head up.
"Huh?" Tom muttered, clueless what was the content of the question. With his thoughts running wild in his head, he found refuge in the warmth of her body, a refuge that allowed him to kill all his thoughts. "What did you ask again?"
"That girl in the dungeon, the one you described to the ves," udia spelled out her words one by one. "What did she tell you?"
"Hmm," Tom took a moment to gather his thoughts, giving up the control of the conversation without a care in the world. "To find her... On the other side?" he said, not even sure if his memory was correct at this point.
"Assuming that she knew where we came from, and she had to given how we met on thest floor, don''t you find it strange?" udia asked, only to move her hand and p Tom''s cheek.
"Huh?" Tom shook his head as the pain forced all the useless thoughts away. "What''s strange?" he asked, focusing all his brainpower on the question. "If she knew that we came from the other side, then isn''t it obvious that she would ask us to find her on the side she was in?" he asked, puzzled by the girl''s questioning.
"Then where she is now?" udia asked, looking directly into Tom''s eyes while holding his chin to stop him from averting them.
"And how could I know?" Tom replied as small bits of anger poisoned his voice. "I know that I posed as someone who knew everything, but can''t you see that I''m just as clueless about this world as you are?" he asked, his anger starting to boil in his soul.
In fact, Tom wasn''t angry at udia. Even if she was pushing him a little with her questions, it was no reason for him to get agitated over. What was making him furious was how he had to ept that he no longer was in control over his situation. Something that he was experiencing for the first time in his adult life.
"This is exactly what I want you to think about," udia said, still holding Tom''s face in ce. "If she was in the dungeon back then, then shouldn''t she wait for you at its entrance?" the girl asked.
"Wait, I think I''m starting to get it," Tom muttered, lowering his eyes as his brain started to work properly again.
"If she asked you to find her, then it means she was perfectly aware that you two wouldn''t meet at the dungeon''s entrance. And given what we learned about her from those ves..." udia said, only to cut her sentence short and let Tom voice its ending himself.
"She wasn''t anywhere near this dungeon when it all happened," Tom muttered, feeling as if something finally clicked. "If the war started even before we appeared in the city if she is one of the leading figures of one faction, then she couldn''t be in the dungeon when we met her!" Tom suddenly eximed, finally realizing what was low-key bothering him all this time.
"I think the situation is far moreplicated thanmon people are allowed to know," udia said, finally letting go of Tom''s face, only to pull him back on herself.
With his head once again surrounded by the warm and fragrant flesh of the girl, Tom could feel the sea of his soul calming down. Even with all the magic that he learned and experienced in the dungeon, the magic of intimacy was still something that he could fight against.
"What are we going to do, then?" udia asked, moving her hands down from Tom''s hair to his back, only to slip them even further down towards his hips. "What do youmand, my lord?" she asked provocatively as she locked her legs around Tom''s hips.
"For now, we ride," Tom said, raising his head and cing a long, deep kiss on the girl''s lips. Feeling how her own abdomen started to move around, he could feel the fires of lust exploding in his mind.
Like a firestorm, all his doubts started to melt and then boil away as the raging current of his carnal desires filled both his flesh and body.
"And then what?" udia asked with a smile as she started to unbutton her shirt, allowing her chest to see the light of the local sun for the first time.
"Now that I think about it," Tom muttered as he buried his face in the girl''s breasts, "I think we should actually go back," he said, moving his lips up and catching udia''s nipple between his teeth.