"My liege," Nolwud entreated pitifully, "I don''t think it''s a lot to ask."


    be the fool.


    It was imperative that Nolwud''s new role didn''t slip out. I couldn''t bear the embarrassment if I had to explain my association. Anything but ''patron'' and I might have felt differently.


    Nolwud insisted satisfaction and expressed pride in "gaining a regal employer". I did not see it the same way. I did not employ. An employer was expected to pay. If I hadn''t already taken all the phids in the inventor''s inventory, I would have demanded a new tithe. I set Nolwud along the path of discovery to see that science was done and done in my favor. I didn''t think anything more of it.


    Nolwud promised me a plane shifter and instead gave me a headache.


    any work had been attempted. It was unacceptable. "You promised me I would not be disappointed."


    "You haven''t fed me in a week," grumbled Nolwud.


    "You haven''t completed the plane shifter."


    "How can I complete anything when my thoughts always come back to food?" whined the inventor.


    Don''t you think it would do to feed the prisoner? suggest Rott from my shoulders.


    "No," I replied. He had no way of knowing both conversations hit upon the same topic. I turned back to the inventor. "This is what you wanted, remember? You insisted upon my patronage."


    "I expected a bit more than this," said Nolwud. "A proper workshop, for example. Decent lodgings. Meals."


    "My." I leaned my head upon the bars of the cell and sneered. "We want everything, don''t we?"


    It seems unlikely you will get anywhere with this treatment, Rott chastised. He had been opposed to everything. He didn''t like the idea of taking on a stranger as client. Then, he didn''t like that I had locked the Nolwud back into the dungeon. Now I was too cruel? You ought to provide the basic comforts, my liege. Food. Water. A blanket. Maybe a book or publication to stimulate the imagination...


    "Shut up, Rott," I said and flicked the worm on the side of his head. Nolwud watched with a strange expression. I knew it well. I jeered, "What?"


    "You carry on as though your worm responds."


    I put a hand to my chest. "You think I''m mad?" Lordavis, the crazy magus who spoke to the worms. "Insane and unfair, I suppose."


    "Do they respond?"


    That was neither here nor there. "Yes," I sniped.


    A sigh. Nolwud looked askance. "Fascinating."


    My liege, you should consider a compromise. Show that you are judicious. The prisoner is downtrodden.


    "The poor prisoner thinks I''m mad for talking to you," I explained through the language barrier. Rott''s empathy was misplaced. "Our new friend thinks I''m mad for talking to worms."


    "I didn''t say that."


    "I didn''t ask you," I barked.


    Nolwud glanced my way then back to the project at hand.


    "If you keep this up," I continued, "You''ll earn your meals in no time."


    "Because I said so."


    "Yes, but why? I don''t intend to go anywhere." Then, "Is there something off limits that I''m not permitted to see?"


    "No." My palace was as empty as my lands. I didn''t have use for the many rooms and halls. They remained untouched and unused.


    "I gave myself a tour--" admitted the inventor.


    "Rude," I said.


    "...while you were out. Before you put me back here." The device was set aside. "If you give me the room on the second story with the south facing windows, I would be able to work more efficiently."


    I parsed which room was referenced. "The enchanting studio?"


    "There were crystal shards." Nolwud recreated a symbol in the air. "And a circle with strange etchings."


    "That room exists to imbue objects with magical qualities," I lectured. "Not for you to build your toys."


    "It has several strong workbenches already installed," stated Nolwud. "And cabinets in the walls. I could collect the equipment I need and store it cleanly. Order is important." Furrowing a brow, it was added, "The idea is for you to imbue the plane shifter with magical qualities. It ought to be there."


    "You''re staying in the dungeon," I said.


    sabotaging my efforts."


    encouraging you to hone your skills. I''m keeping you away from distractions. Look how it''s spurred you into action."


    "I''m not building a plane shifter," said Nolwud.


    Oh well. "Then you will die."


    "Right now," clarified Nolwud. "I''m not building it right now."


    "What''s that in your hands?" I narrowed my eyes. "It better not be a weapon you intend to use against me."


    "It''s not." Then, mumbled, "In the conventional sense."


    I wasn''t going to have any of it. I stuck my hand through the bars. "Give it here."


    Nolwud frowned. "It''s nothing."


    "I''ll be the judge of that."


    My liege, Rott interceded. I might be a trap.


    I withdrew my hand. "Rott will be the judge of that." I gestured emphatically. "Take it." Dutifully, albeit hesitantly, Rott retrieved the box. Nolwud did not struggle. "What is this?"


    My liege, whimpered Rott, terrified without due cause.


    Gallivur? Rott exclaimed. Why is Gallivur here?


    My liege, I have business elsewhere. You will have to contend with Gallivur alone. Rott was halfway down the hall. Which of his many holes would he crawl into?


    Lordavis!" Gallivur bellowed loudly, fists raised and stance readied for combat.


    trash removed immediately."


    My liege, they echoed in unison.


    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    Gallivur seethed. "I''ve heard about your nefarious bargain with Queen Chidsey. Have you no decency at all? You''ll never get away with this!"


    could die any day."


    "You''re not far behind, " countered Gallivur.


    "I''m barely ninety," I stiffly informed.


    Weeeeeeell." Then, "I came here in regards to the Queen Chidsey thing. If you''re not involved in any of that, I suppose I should be on my way."


    I waved the champion away. How anticlimactic. There would be other times."Yes, yes. Go."


    Gallivur made to leave and paused, leg sticking through the window opening. "You''re not up to anything, are you?"


    I tilted my head innocently. "What do you mean?"


    "Against Fourmikari. You haven''t tried anything since that Hailfire Orb or whatever."


    "Hailferno Sphere." Didn''t the assault on Nolwud count for anything? "So?"


    "It''s awfully quiet," remarked Gallivur. "I can usually find you up to no good."


    "Who can say what I''ve got in the works?" I sang. "I''m sure the Great Champion Gallivur will stop whatever nasty plots I conceive, hm?" Not this time. This time things would turn out differently. I needed the inventor to stop messing around and build the device I had been promised. "Gallivur, champion of the land."


    "Enough," huffed Gallivur. "I''ve got my eye on you. Don''t think for one moment you can get away with anything."


    I waited until my uninvited visitor had departed to return to the inventor. Nolwud hunched in a corner, fiddling with a new gadget. I was given a cursory greeting. "Gallivur is gone. Where were we?"


    "Where''s Rott?"


    Since when did Nolwud care about the worm? "Rott will come along in time."


    I was unclear. "Who? Rott and I or Gallivur and I?"


    Nolwud laughed. "Either."


    I bristled. Laughter? In light of the situation, Nolwud shouldn''t have been able to laugh."You find this amusing?"


    "I do," admitted Nolwud. "It''s not how I anticipated things to turn out."


    "I wonder if you can anticipate what I will do next." I taunted. "Will I humor you further or will I finally make good on my threats of death?"


    "Have you considered trapping your kingdom?" A shift in focus. "Beyond the beacons." Nolwud raised palms and motioned. "Something unseen that delivers an electric shock. It might be useful to corral people into the areas your worms can get to them." A shrug. "Just a thought."


    "And you are the one to build them for me, I suppose? In exchange for better treatment?"


    "We didn''t establish any basic exchange or policies," said Nolwud. "In hindsight, I can see it was necessary. I would like to revise our agreement or draft a new one."


    My liege, has Gallivur gone? Rott slithered from the darkness and coiled at my ankles. I put my hands to my waist.


    "Do you know what the inventor has just proposed to me, Rott? A agreement. It seems the old one is unsatisfactory."


    "The old one is unsatisfactory," said Nolwud. "I would like to include some provisos.."


    "A workshop. The former enchanting studio, preferably. The means to get the parts I need to work."


    "No, and I gave you your chest back." The wooden box sat in the back of the cell. It was loaded to the brim with gears, and bits, and bobs. Nolwud could work with what already existed.


    "That would be fantastic!" exclaimed Nolwud, thoroughly pleased by this development.


    "It was a joke."


    Nolwud''s gaze lowered to my feet. "What do you think about it, Rott?"


    I snorted. "He can''t understand you."


    The inventor beamed, prodded the object in his lap, and put forth, "You do understand me, don''t you, Rott?"


    The worm jerked up suddenly. What? What was that?


    "Did he respond? Did he say anything?" Nolwud took Rott''s reaction as a positive sign. "It only works one way at the moment. I don''t understand the worm lexicon. Yet."


    I looked from Rott to Nolwud to Rott again. "You cannot possibly think that worked."


    Nolwud''s jaws clicked and head shook. "I''m fascinated by the prospect that cross species communication to such a degree is possible. I wanted to test for myself."


    My liege, gasped Rott. I can understand.


    "Impossible," I snarled. "You don''t understand anything. It''s a coincidence."


    It is very poor. Murky. Rott inched closer to the bars. The inventor is talking about communication. Right?


    Yes, said Rott. Again, I hear ''communication''.


    "It isn''t working," I insisted.


    It is working, my liege, said Rott, perturbed.


    But my liege, the worm began.


    "Do it," I commanded without warmth. Out came the device. I set it ablaze.


    "I''m still trying to figure out how you do it," said Nolwud. "I understand you. He understands you. You''re speaking two languages at once. Given the nature of things, that shouldn''t be possible."


    "Instead of wasting your time on parlour tricks," I said sternly, "You ought to be building the plane shifter."


    "I will when you make me an equal," said Nolwud.


    "An equal?" This was an exponential divergence from the arrangement.


    "I should have known you were a vassal," I remarked. It made sense. The scared, lost stranger from before replaced with the entitled clod who thought I would give out titles to my prisoners.


    "I prefer to think of myself as a scientist."


    "You can think of yourself as a carcass until you make that plane shifter," I declared. "You will get nothing from me until it''s done."


    What did you get those?"


    Crunch. "Worms brought them." Crunch. Crunch.


    "I gave no such command."


    "I asked nicely." Nolwud grinned. "They understand body language. We''ve made an arrangement." Nolwud gnawed on a knuckle. "I think. From what I can tell, they''re keen to communicate."


    "If they want to communicate, they can do so with me." My ever-present companion was strangely absent. I called out, "Rott!"


    Nothing.


    "I could be convinced to abandon this project," said Nolwud, shoveling another potato between jaws. "This whole ''talk to the worms'' one, I mean. Particularly if my days were occupied working on a plane shifter." I glowered. The inventor chuckled. "But first, I would need to be given a workshop. And chambers. I''ve been thinking and there''s no reason to settle for second rate quarters. You have enough space."


    "No."


    "Also, I''ve decided on my title. I''d like to be your Royal Technologist. I''ll take any of the perks you imagine go along with that. If you need help thinking up some, I can help."


    "''Technologist'' isn''t a real word," I said.


    "Then you''ll be the first to have one! I will make you a plane shifter. I will give you everything you desire within my capabilities. I will forgo morality and common sense for the sake of your cause. There is no ulterior motive beyond the pursuit of science. "


    "I''ll kill you," I said flatly. "I can always go that route again. There''s no reason to tolerate this. You do as I tell you or you die. There is no middle ground."


    That is how the Nolwud became Royal Technologist of the Kingdom of Ever-Worms.