Jack and Markus walked the streets, having asked directions from a Watchman. They
should be within spotting the place in a few minutes.
“So what are your intentions toward my sister?,” asked Jack.
“Madam Witch?,” said Markus. “I don’t have any intentions.”
“Not good enough for you?,” said Jack. He hid his usual grin.
“I have only known her for three days,” said Markus. “I don’t know if she is not good
enough for me.”
“So what’s the plan?,” said Jack. “Charm her out of her clothes, steal her money, ruin
her kids, and then flee into the night?”
“I don’t plan to do any of that,” said Markus. “And if I tried, I am sure you would be
there with your sailing ship and lightning.”
“The Ducklings would be there, and they would skin you alive,” said Jack. “Josie
does need someone to hang out with that isn’t us. You might be good enough for
that.”
“Have you asked her what she thinks?,” asked Markus.
“I’m too busy blowing holes in people’s skulls to worry about hanging out and
getting some beer and pretzels,” said Jack. He projected the tone of voice and
mannerisms enough that Markus stepped back. “I would like her to take a minute and
smell the flowers.”
“I don’t think I can help you,” said Markus. “That was a good impersonation.”
“You should see my Jack Benny,” said Jack. He gestured to say it wasn’t a big deal.
“I think she does like you. I think you like her. I think the two of you are afraid of
asking each other out.”
“There’s a reason for that on my side,” said Markus.
“Ninety percent of romances start in the workplace,” said Jack. “What’s the real
reason other than fear?”
“I have never had much luck with women,” said Markus. “Something always happens
and I wind up having wasted my time and money on someone who liked someone
else better.”
“Josie won’t be like that,” said Jack. He nodded when he saw the sign of the place
they were looking to visit. “And she would like it a lot better if you don’t call her
Madam Witch all the time.”
“That is her name,” said Markus.
“No, that is what adventurers call her,” said Jack. He pushed on the batwing doors to
go inside the pub. “She would prefer Madam Fox, or Josie. Try that on her. Maybe
she will like you more.”
“What if she doesn’t like me?,” asked Markus.
“It’s not like she can kill you more than once,” said Jack. He headed for the counter,
nodding at people like he knew them. Some of them nodded back, taken in by his
friendliness.
“What if she could kill me more than once?,” said Markus.
“She’s not going to bother after the first time,” said Jack. He waved at the counterman
to come down and talk to them. The man slowly approached. “Can we have two ales?
Also we are looking for a guy to send a message up the line from Cask.”
“Cask?,” asked the counterman.
“He got caught and the King is sweating him for what he knows as far as I know,”
said Jack. “I’m supposed to come here and send a message up the line through the guy
he knows, you know?”
“What does that have to do with me?,” asked the Counterman. He kept his eyes
moving in case either one of these strangers decided to make a move.
“He said his contact was here,” said Jack. “All we want to do is send the warning in
case the King’s troops come through here. I mean Fort Hern was cleared out of
personnel, and something like that happened across the border. If you don’t know,
that’s good too.”
“Fort Hern was cleared out?,” said the Counterman.
“Yep,” said Jack. “Same guy who caught all those guys trying to kill the King in
Hawk Ridge. And you know where they’re going.”
“You’re kidding me,” said the Counterman. He made a gesture to say quit lying.
“Nope,” said Jack. “The King’s cousin, Rustam, was behind it. He got sent to the
Delve with his right hand man, Brat.”
“Brant,” said Markus. “Lord Brant, but I expect he has been stripped. You don’t get
to keep your titles once you are sent to the Delve.”
“Who has them now?,” asked Jack.
“I don’t know,” said Markus. “Maybe Case if he passes muster.”
“They did say he needed a title if he wanted to marry Caroline,” said Jack. “Maybe
the King is looking out instead of waiting for Josie to clear out some more
deadwood.”
“Maybe,” agreed Markus. He tapped the counter. “Could we have those ales, please?”
“And some paper for a note too,” said Jack. “I’ll post it so the real agent can take it
and send it up the line.”
“All right,” said the Counterman. “Are you serious about Fort Hern?”
“Anybody trapped inside there with the Montrose Makeover is as good as dead,” said
Jack. “If there were any survivors, and they were smart, they should have bailed by
now before they got what their friends got.”This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.
“How do you know any of this?,” said the Counterman. He produced two cups. He
opened a tap on a keg behind him and filled both cups. He placed them on the
counter.
“I know the people the King called to defend the kingdom,” said Jack. He tasted his,
and nodded in approval. “They don’t fool around. Could I have that paper? As soon
as I post my note, we have to head out. There’s an army coming this way to retake
Fort Hern and beef up the border. We want to be miles away before we are forced to
help out.”
The Counterman walked down to the other end of the bar. He went through some
drawers. He found a sheet of paper in a small stack that he used to write his bills on.
He brought it back and found Jack had a pen like he had never seen before.
“What can I say?,” Jack asked himself. He tapped the pen against the counter as he
thought. “Okay, I think I got it.”
“Dear sir, (professional beginning but unsure if we’re actually dealing with a man),”
said Jack as he wrote his words down at the bar. “I regret to inform you that you soon
will be arrested or dead (depending on if Josie decides to do something other than
handing this guy over to Rick.) Your mad scheme to set Grecious against Shemmaria
has failed with the deaths of a majority of your forces and the taking of your agents.
King Rickard and the Shemmarian administrator of war Worldy know what’s going
on and have been shown what we as the agents of the Robert Reed Appreciation
Society are willing to do to keep the peace. I advise fleeing with whatever you can
grab and hoping we don’t catch up with you before we have to turn our attention
elsewhere (because we still have to stop the Bloodborn and find out who wants Kyle
dead.), or you will feel the wrath of the Ear Ripper in all her glory. Yours truly, Jack.
(should I put Captain Jack at the bottom?)”
“I think Jack is good enough,” said Markus. He idly watched the Counterman out of
the corner of his eye. Every word that Jack uttered seemed to make him more upset
than the one before. “Ear Ripper?”
“That’s what we call Josie when she is mad,” said Jack. “I don’t think she has ripped
someone’s ear off yet, so you have nothing to worry about.”
“Then why call her the Ear Ripper?,” asked Markus.
“Because it bothers her just enough to get under her skin, but not enough where she
will take action,” said Jack. “Is there a place I can hang this for the guy it needs to
go to?”
“I’ll deal with it,” said the Counterman. He held out his hand for the paper.
Jack handed it over after folding it. He gave the Counterman a grin.
“Tell the guy we’ll be back to check on him in the next couple of days,” said Jack.
Jack took another sip of his beer before he led the way out of the Moon Inn. He
looked up at the sign with the three moons on it as he stepped out into the street. He
changed into the Vision to look through the wall to keep track of the Counterman
for the next few seconds.
“He looks mad,” said Jack. “All right, he is calling over some boy and handing him
the note.”
Jack let the persona go. He motioned for Markus to keep walking.
“Enterprise, connect me to Josie,” said Jack, triggering his band. He kept an eye out
for people who seemed to be looking at Markus and him a little too hard.
“We’re here, Jack,” said Josie.
“We sent a note up the chain of command,” said Jack. “Some boy should be leaving
the back of the Moon Inn right now to deliver it.”
“We’ve got him on the conference table,” said Josie.
“I think we have trouble, Jack,” said Markus. He reached for his sword as a group
approached them.
“I have to go, Jo,” said Jack. “I’ll try to keep you boyfriend alive.”
He cut her off before she could protest about the state of her affairs.
“I am going to need you to back up a little to give me some room, and watch my
back,” said Jack in a low voice. “I have a couple of things I can use here, but I don’t
want anyone trying to get behind me.”
“I’m ready,” said Markus. He drew his sword and backed down the street, watching
the gang spread out.
“You sent a message,” said the leader of the gangs. “We’re going to send one back.”
“What’s it going to say?,” said Jack. “Two guys killed everyone but me? I’m willing
to let you walk away because my beloved says I should take it easy and not chop
everyone I meet into cole slaw, but I want you to know one thing about that. It’s a
kindness, not mercy.”
“So you think you can fight the ten of us and walk away?,” said the spokesman.
“Do we have time for this?,” said Markus. “We still have to finish the rest of the job
we’re doing.”
“Josie has that,” said Jack. “The only thing we really have to do is arrest the counter
guy in the Inn.”
“Do you really think you’re going to be able to do that?,” asked the spokesman.
Jack grinned at them. He touched his watch. He became a thing made of orbiting
swords that ripped the air as they moved. The gang made an audible sound of fear.
“If you want to come at me, come on,” said Jack. “I don’t have the time to fool around
with you.”
Markus spun his sword in his hand. He decided that he didn’t need to get involved
in this. He edged closer to the Inn in case he needed to take cover from the coming
conflagration.
“I guess I am going to have to help you along,” said Jack. He marched toward the
group, swords swinging around him. “Josie should have left me the phasers even if
she didn’t want them fired. Now I am going to have make up an excuse about why I
had to chop some goobs apart.”
The group broke and ran. Jack watched them go before letting the Blade persona go.
He wondered if he should have let them be criminals, but decided he had one thing
to do and he could come back to deal with the gang when he had some free time.
And he had to keep Markus safe so Josie could have a boyfriend and do things in this
world without constantly being around work, or shepherding the kids, or trying to fix
the women at the hospital.
“Can you believe that?,” asked Jack. He looked around. Where had Markus gone?
He pulled on Vision and scanned the neighboring buildings. Markus had entered
the Moon Inn. The Counterman didn’t look happy to see him. He let the persona
go and entered the Inn himself.
He paused as Markus gestured for the man to come out from behind the bar. The
Counterman frowned at the adventurer, and then at the watchbearer.
“I’m not going with either of you,” said the Counterman. He reached for something
under the bar.
Markus hopped the counter. He had his sword in the man’s face a second later. He
shook his head.
“If you move, you will have to talk to the king without an eye,” said Markus.
“That was pretty smooth,” said Jack. “I couldn’t have done better myself. What
do you have under the counter, George?”
Markus reached down and grabbed the item in question. He put a loaded crossbow
on the counter. He pushed it out of the Counterman’s reach.
“Nice,” said Jack. “Josie has the letter. We can head back upstairs.”
“What about him?,” asked Markus.
“Ordinarily I would just drop his dead body somewhere someone could find it,” said
Jack. “But the King is wanting people to imprison, and trials, and stuff. Do you want
to live, George?”
“Yes,” said the Counterman.
“All right,” said Jack. “I’m inclined to do that. Elaine and Aviras say I can’t just
dice everyone who crosses my path. I should leave that to Josie.”
“What if he had said no?,” asked Markus.
“Then he would be dead as a doornail,” said Jack. “I don’t have time to fool around
when I have a quest from the Society. And I don’t have a lot of time for mercy at the
best of times. If you cooperate, maybe I can get you a spot in some other city where
you have to check in with someone every day. I don’t know.”
“I guess that will be all right,” said the Counterman.
“Knife,” said Jack. He held out a hand.
The Counterman pulled a knife from his belt and handed it over.
“We’re going to let you live,” said Jack. “Don’t screw this up. Just answer the
questions as truthfully as possible, and I will try to make your landing as soft as I can.
If you start thinking to overcome us, or try to take hostages, or whatever, I assure you
that you will be dead the moment you try.”
“I understand,” said the Counterman.
“Enterprise, beam up our captive and put him in a cell,” said Jack into his com band.
“Then beam us up.”
“Affirmative,” said the machine. A cloud of sparks took the barkeep away. Then the
two partners vanished from the Inn.