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AliNovel > Fated To The Alpha > Chapter 200

Chapter 200

    Chapter 200


    Fated To The Alpha by Jessica Hall Chapter 200


    Sage POV


    After everyone left I made more coffee and we sat out the back talking. Nora came over feeling a bit


    lonely without Zane and her siblings were too busy ying their video games. We watched the kids


    y and Marabe eventually fell asleep on the pic rug and kat went andid her down inside while


    we watched Kyan and Jonah sword fight with some twigs they found while running around the


    backyard and along the treeline before Mateo called them over, not liking them that close to the forest


    edge.


    “We can always go out the front, the kids can climb the willow tree and it is shadier for them to y” I


    tell Mateo and he nods, before scooping up Eziah who was ripping out handfuls of grass.


    “Come on boys” Mateo calls out to them, waving them over. They stop what they are doing and race


    over to us skidding to a  stop on the grass in front of me.


    “Where has E gone?” Kyan asks, looking around.


    “E?” I ask.


    “Marabe, ” He says.


    “She is sleeping, ” Mateo tells him.


    “Come on, you both should get a drink, your little faces are so red” I tell them walking inside with them.


    I make them a drink of cordial each before washing their faces with a wet cloth to try to cool them


    down.


    “Want to climb the willow tree?” I ask them and they rush toward the front of the house. Following them,


    I couldn’t see   them.   I was looking  up the stairs when I heard hushed voices making me look in the


    living room to find Kat watching Marabe sleep in her fold out bed. Jonah and Kyan staring down at


    her.


    “Why does she make that face?” Jonah asks at Marabe’s quivering lip as she sleeps.


    “She can hear them?” Kyan says, reaching his hand out toward her.


    “Boys,e on. Let her sleep ” I whisper to them when Kyan reaches down touching her cheek, ck


    mist rushes up his arm and his eyes turn ck. The sight sends goosebumps up my arms and the


    room feels electrified   when he suddenly pulls his hand back.


    “There, all better now” Kyan says. “What did you do?” Kat asks him.


    “Took it from her, they were scaring her” “What were?” Kat asks, looking at me.


    “The shadows,e on, I want to climb this tree” Kyan says before pecking Marabe’s head.


    “Sweet dreams, E” He says before grabbing Jonah’s arm and tugging him past me to the front door.


    “What was that about?” Mateo asks, watching the boys run out the front door.


    “Marabe   must have been having a nightmare, Kyan took it from her” I tell him.


    “Yeah that kid does some spooky things”


    “So does our daughter, ” Kat says with a softugh.


    “ I   think he is sweet” I tell them and they both nod.


    “Yes, he seems like a good kid, ” Mateo says before following them outside.


    “Are youing out with us?” I ask Kat.


    “ I will wait for a bit to make sure she is alright,”


    Kat says looking down at Marabe.


    “Is   everything alright, you seem distracted?” I ask her when Mateo and Nora walk out the front door.


    “Yeah, I am. I have a lot going on with the Moon Goddess dying, the Packs. My kids, everything feels


    like it bing too much”


    “What about your mates, have you told them? I sensed some tension between you and Ezra”


    “Yeah we are fine, Ezra worries, he thinks I am taking on too much, Mateo he is  great and good with


    the kids. Honestly I feel like a shit mum. I feel like all I do is work and when I am not working, I a m


    exhausted or so stressed I am cranky”


    “Have you told them this?” I ask her and she shakes her head.


    “Why not?”


    “Because there are some things I  can’t speak about, there will be consequences if I do, it could


    change things and make them worse”


    “Ok, so what worries you most then?”


    “My kids, bing the Moon Goddess. Going back to when I first met Ezra, I never would have


    predicted how  much my life would change, not that I hate it, they are great but sometimes I think I


    grew up too fast” She lets out a breath.


    “ Before I  was just  trying to go unnoticed and now everything I do is criticized and judged, there is no


    hanging out with friends, no social life, no time for anything anymore. I didn’t think it would be this hard”


    She says looking  down  at Marabe. I walk around the couch and sit on it.


    “What’s hard, you can tell  me. I won’t  say anything to your mates Kat” I tell her and she chews her


    bottom  lip sucking it   into her mouth before looking at the ceiling.


    “ I feel like an imposter , I don’t know who I am anymore. Everyone expects so much of me and I don’t


    know  if  I can live  up  to  their expectations.  I feel like     I am failing everything and everyone” She


    says, closing her eyes and resting her head against the wall.


    “ I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this.


    When I found out I was pregnant. I had unrealistic expectations of what it would be like to have


    children, unrealistic ideas on what it would be like to be Luna,  everything  I  thought  my life


    would be was wrong. But I get it now, I was so angry at her for lying to me, for so long that’s all I could


    see was that betrayal, even with dad. He kept what I was from me, so many secrets but I get  it  now. I


    know   they did  it   to protect me and having my own kids and knowing what I know I want to protect


    them from it too, I get it. I get why they lied. I am   the same”


    “What do you mean?” I ask her.


    “I mean that  the secrets we keep trying to protect those we  love eat at you, and make you question


    whether you are hurting them more by keeping it from them, but when you know the consequences of


    telling  them,  you risk losing  them. I get it now, I just wished I realised it sooner. I spent so long angry


    at her, angry at everyone that I forgot for a second how much I loved her, what she sacrificed for me,


    who she was. Same with dad,  he left  me and I hated that he did, but after mum died. I realised I only


    hurt myself by being angry at them, you never know when the day wille when you have to say


    goodbye to them” She says before sniffling and wiping her nose.


    “Have you said this to Ezra or Mateo?” She shakes her head.


    “They don’t get it. Ezra and Maddox hated my mother even now, he doesn’t understand how I forgave


    her, he is thankful for what she did, but he never forgave her. Mateo understands but still I put too much


    pressure on him with the kids, I don’t need to burden him with me being a cry baby” She says tugging


    at the thin nket to throw over Marabe as she rolls on her side.


    “Gosh  I  miss  her, she  was a  tough  woman, she would have kicked my ass, literally, for moping


    about and told me to get my  shit  together but  that’s ok because she would be there to catch me when


    I fall. Now I have to catch myself and everyone else and not being able to tell Ezra and Mateo certain


    things, it is so lonely” She whispers thest words. Closing her eyes and rubbing her temples like she


    had  a headache before opening her eyes to look at me, I could see her  pain, she wore  it so inly,  I


    was surprised no one else could see it.


    “I have lost the image of who I thought I was and who I thought I would be and now looking at


    everything that has happened, I realise I am a stranger within myself. Trying to live up to everyone


    else’s expectation and I  lost  myself  in it” She says, I  felt  terrible for her.  I couldn’t imagine  what it


    would be like to be responsible for not just a pack but every pack, while trying to raise her kids and be a


    good mate. It would be too much.


    “Everyone has a breaking point, Kat. But when you reach it,  you just  have to  remember to toss the


    broken  pieces away.  Don’t   let the   sharpness of them cut you  to pieces, don’t worry about what you


    can’t change or fix. Focus on the things that matter, what’s right in front of you. Anger and hate is a


    heavy thing to carry, it does the carrier more damage”


    Katughs and her face turns red. “I am sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, here I am moping about


    being Queen and a mother when you had to fight for your son, had been put through the worst


    situations ever and I am here whining about my protected childhood and having to be an adult” She


    “You don’t need to apologise Kat, your feelings aren’t invalid and you can’t imagine what I have been


    through just like I can’t imagine what you have been through, or the pressures on you. I count myself


    pretty lucky, despite everything. I would go through it  all again just to be here, right now. God only


    knows if I would have found Jonah or Andrei if it didn’t have that life, so as much as it sucked I came


    out of it with two people I couldn’t imagine living without” I tell her.


    “You ever wonder what your life would be like if the one thing that changed everything didn’t happen?”


    Kat asks.


    “Everyday, I always wonder about the what ifs. What if I didn’t convince my  family  to go  to Flower


    Meadows? But you know what? It happened,   I survived it and I got my life back. A better one and I


    realise what happened was on them, not me. What they did is on them and nothing I could have or


    should have done would change it. Sometimes fate has a funny way of showing   us how much one


    can endure but once you endure it, you realise nothing will break you, except yourself. You will realise


    that kat, one day you will wake up and the weight on your shoulders won’t feel so heavy, it won’t feel


    consuming    and you will  realise  you can carry  it, because you carried a weight so much heavier


    before   and  you are stronger because   of it” I tell her while hopping up.


    “Come on, I will make more coffee. Mateo is right with the kids and we can steal Andrei’s monte carlo


    biscuits he has hidden in the back of the pantry”


    “I  love Monte Carlo’s, ” Kat says with a groan.


    “Yeah, Casen brought them over this morning to rece the ones he stolest night” I chuckled while


    walking out to the kitchen. Kat follows after me and I flick the kettle on.


    “Thank you” Kat says and I nod to her.


    “You can always talk to me, ” I tell her, grabbing some mugs down. Kat grabs the milk from the fridge


    and hands it to  me. We were  in the middle o f making coffee when nausea rolled over me, making my


    heart  race and beat  frantically  in my chest. Sweat coated my forehead and my hands trembled.


    “Sage?”


    “Get the kids” I shrieked, fighting down the urge to throw up  as I tore off out of the house. Rushing out


    of the house, I see rogues  running in from every direction. My scream is loud and bounces off the


    trees as well as through the mindlink as I screamed for Andrei.


    I look for  Jonah  and the kids spotting  them both in the tree, Mateo’s grey wolf fending off rogues as


    theye out of nowhere and everywhere. Our pack   ran from the houses  and treeline   trying to help


    Mateo as Eziah started crying under the tree where he sat. Shifting I jump into the fray, racing towards


    where the kids are.


    “Get the kids to the packhouse and lock it down” I rush through the mindlink as Sierra sinks her teeth


    into a brown blotchy coloured wolf. Kat races toward Eziah but is tackled at thest second, her wolf


    skidding across the ground when it sinks its teeth into her neck forcing her to shift back. Her naked


    body was tossed and Mateo’s wolf whimpered but he was the only thing standing in the way of the


    wolves getting to his son as I tried to get to his position. Sierra kills a wolf as our warriors start taking


    them down, but there were so many, they came out of nowhere and seemed to have no end as they


    kept zipping out of the trees toward us.


    Being jumped from behind, I am shoved forward face nting the ground, Sierra turns quickly snapping


    at anything thates into reach when Kat barges into me. Kicking another wolf in the head as it tried


    to get me from my blindspot. Her entire body saturated in blood and her neck was bleeding profusely


    as she continued  fighting, trying to get to her son and the boys. Mateo is suddenly jumped by three


    wolves and he kills one quickly before the other two pounce on him and knock him down. One of them


    ripped into his nk viciously. Sierra charges toward them and she tackles one off  the top  of him


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    tearing  into its neck.


    Looking up into a tree Jonah and Kyan were perched on a branch both looking petrified, I see Kat get


    to the tree and Sierra biting and wing at anything that attacks when I hear Kat tell the boys to jump. I


    didn’t have time to look to see if she needed help as I felt teeth sink into my tail,


    ripping me back, ws digging deeply into my ribs and scratching down my hip.


    “Andrei! ” I scream through the link, needing them to get here before we all end up dead. We were


    outnumbered five to one easily and they just didn’t stoping. I see Jonah out of the corner of my


    eye jump into Kat’s arms and Kyan, both of them running toward the packhouse and to safety.


    I was running towards them when Kat started to scream .


    “No, no, no, not now” She screams, making me look at her. She had Eziah in her arms when she


    suddenly   vanished, disappearing into thin air. I didn’t have time to think much of it when I was


    smashed  from  the side. Gun fire  rings  out before I  hear someone scream. “Grenades!”
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