Chapter 0339


    The next morning | wake up alone, blinking in the sunlight, and the grief and loneliness hits me like a truck.


    | stare at my window, looking at the patch of blue sky visible through it and listening to the sound of the gulls cawing outside,


    thinking that it''s beautiful here by the sea. Thinking that Kent gave me this refuge away from everything so that | could have it no


    matter what happened to him.


    And | realize that he was clever enough to get me a house filled with rooms, because he knew I''d fill it with the people I love. The


    people we love.


    And then | cover my face with my hands, unwilling to look at any of it, sick with the grief of knowing that I’m waking up here on


    this gorgeous morning, listening to the sounds of birds and the crashing of surf —


    And he’s, what? Sitting in a cinder block cell about three feet from his toilet?


    Kent gave me everything.


    And I...| have given him nothing.


    My eyes still closed, | reach out my hand to stretch across the bed, to the ce he should be sleeping.


    And then I smirk, thinking that if Kent were here we wouldn’t be sleeping in this little room. Janeen has the master, and while she


    offered it to me the night | got here, | waved her off. It would be ridiculous for her to give up the bedroom she’s been sleeping in


    for months just because | technically own the house.


    But if Kent had been there with me?


    Yeah. Janeen would be out. |ugh a little to think on it.


    Then | open my eyes, looking over at the empty expanse of my bed, and | smile a little to remember thest night when Kent


    came through the wardrobe and slept with me in my too-small bed, wrapped up in my floralforter.


    If | had known that was going to be ourst night, | wouldn''t have let him go so easily that morning. | would have...


    But | groan, and cover my face with my hands, and force my mind away from it. Because it doesn’t matter what | would have


    done.


    What matters now...


    ...iS what I’m going to do.


    | exhale a deep breath, moving my hands down from my face and down my body so that they settle low on my stomach. And


    then | bend my head a little to look down at myself — though | of course can’t see anything, since I''m covered inyers of


    nkets and pajamas.


    Still, even though | can’t see...| know it’s there.


    “How are you doing, little kidney bean,” | whisper. And then, ridiculously, | wait for a response.Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    My head falls back on my pillow as | sigh a momentter, realizing how stupid I’m being. But really, sometimes | wonder...when


    the hell am | going to feel like a mom? Or even feel pregnant? Because honestly, so far, I’ve got nothing, and it makes me feel —


    sometimes — like this is all some kind of hoax.


    Honestly, | never believed those TV shows before where the women are eight months pregnant before they realize it, but right


    now?


    When I''m more than halfway through my first trimester and | feel nothing? | kind of get it.


    But | know deep down that the baby


    is real. And that eventually my bellyis


    going to look li edsnwel?


    baskétsalll dn then I’m going to give


    birth and there''s going to be a little


    person here. | wonder, passively,


    what they will be like. Please read the


    original content at NovelDrama.Org.


    And | smile, a little, when | realize that | hope...


    Well, that | hope the baby has red hair. Like me.


    And | start tough lightly as | realize that | want the baby to have red hair at least a little bit because...well, because | think it will


    piss off Kent.


    And suddenly | start tough harder -


    and then | burst into tears, because |


    don''t know how | k what Could


    piss offiKaiat toe alittle


    redheaded baby, but | know for sure it


    would — that he would be jealous,


    and want the baby to have ck hair


    like him. Please read the original


    content at NovelDrama.Org.


    And then | realize that I’m also crying because...because | just had my first hope for my new baby. | actually hoped something,


    for the baby, and also for me.


    And maybe...maybe that’s the start of being a mom: making your first wish for your kid, even when they haven''t been born yet.


    | start to cry harder now, because


    maybe this is the start of.it. Maybe h


    Ks startectbelng a niom, all alone in


    t Nonely bed in the house that Kent


    bought me. Please read the original


    content at NovelDrama.Org.


    But he should be here for this. For all of it.