Chapter 0119


    Damn it, but I don’t want to. A huge part of my knows that it would be the smart thing to do, but the


    other part of me…


    I look my sister in the eye. “You’re right,” I say, a little grim. “I don’t know what it is about this world,


    Janeen. But I’m not ready to leave it yet.”


    She shrugs. “I get it. I’m a stripper. Everything logical tells me that this is not a career path that’s viable


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    forever, that’s not going to get me a white picket fence and the American dream. But honestly, that’s not


    what I want anyway. Baby, you have to figure out what you want.”


    I bite my lip, looking up at my sister through myshes, a little ashamed of myself as I finally admit to


    myself what I want. What I’ve wanted for weeks now.


    Janeen steadily holds my gaze. “You want him.”


    Slowly, I nod.


    Her face falls a little with sadness and worry. “It’s not…the easy path, Fay,” she says, reaching a hand


    across the table and taking mine. “But I get it.” She wrinkles her nose at me. “He’s really hot.”


    I burst outughing at this, squeezing my sister’s hand and pressing my other to my face, covering my


    eyes. “Oh my god, Janeen,” Iugh. “You have to stop saying stuff like that.”


    “What!” she cries,ughing harder. “If he were really ugly I would tell you to go, bute on Fay, at


    least he looks like someone who is going to rip your panties off and –“


    “Janeen!” I gasp, ripping my hand from my face and ring at her.


    “Oh Fay,” she says, letting my hand go and sitting back in her chair. “What do you think you two are


    going to do, y checkers?” She rolls her eyes again.


    I sigh, ignoring her and sitting back in my chair, staring at the table.


    “It’s a good deal, Fay,” she says, gentle again. “I mean, the way this is headed, it sounds like you were


    going to fuck him anyway. May as well get something from it.”


    “But how do I do it?” I sigh, slumping in my chair and feeling defeated. “I mean, if I did decide to do this


    – Janeen, I’m not as brave or savvy as you,” I shake my head. “I have no idea how to y this, how to


    make this world give me what I want. I’m afraid – I’m afraid it’s going to eat me alive.”


    I cover my eyes with my hand again, overwhelmed.


    “I don’t know, Fay,” Janeen replies, and I can hear the smirk in her voice. “It sounds to me like you


    made the mafia king want to bone you so badly that he called off your engagement to his son and


    offered you a horse, a beach house, and millions of dors just to get in your pants.” I snap my gaze up


    at her, again shocked.


    She just cocks her head to the side and smiles at me. “Whatever you’re doing,” she says, raising her


    ss. “Maybe keep doing it.”


    I nod to her seriously, grateful for her wise advice.


    And then I drain my ss, leaning forward across the table to ask my sister to help me n my next


    steps.