Chapter 101
Luca’s POV
“Took you long enough,” James started to mused loudly as soon as I pulled the door open and started
to make my way inside the sitting room. I snorted a little as I pushed the door closed behind me and
made sure it was locked before I started to make my way into the sitting room. James, who was
currently sitting on one or the three seater couches and I headed over to where he was sitting and sank
into the free spot beside him.
The guns which were still in my pants were starting to dig into my thighs way too intensely and it made
me stand up after a few moments of me sitting down, in order to get the weapons off my body.
James watched as I started to shrug out of suit jacket right before I tugged my already loosened tie off
my shoulder and discarded both pieces of material into Ynr space beside me. I reached for the top of
my pants and tugged the first gun out, leaning forward and cing the weapon down on the table
before I started to tug out the second gun out of my pants as well, cing it on the table beside the first
one.
I turned towards my discarded suit jacket and picked it up the moment I remembered that there were
some weapons inside the other side of the suit jacket, and then I proceeded to tug out knives from the
inside of the jacket.
“You still carry a knife with you?” I heard James asked and I lifted my head up to stare at him before
nodding my head once as I made to reply with words at the same time. “Mhhm, I do. Why?” I asked the
back rest of the couch he was currently sitting on, before he made to supply me with a reply.
“No reason, I just thought you’ve stopped moving knives after y’know…” He started to say and I pursed
my lips as I turned my head around and moved forward to ce tne knifes on the table, ignoring his
gaze as I turned back around and sank back into my spot on the couch.
I started to unbuckle the buttons on the cuff of my inner shirt, and once they loosened, I pulled the
sleeves on my shirt up to rest beneath my elbow.
I turned my head around to stare at James who was still watching me and studying my every move,
obviously trying to figure me out to no avail.
“I did stop, at a point.” I started to say and watched as he nodded his head once, before he started to
point out in the very next second. “I do know that, which was why I was surprised to see a knife on you
now, after thinking you weren’t going to have a thing to do with it anymore.”
“You did said it yourself that people make mistakes, didn’t you? Well, I’ve decided to ept the fact
that what happened that day had been nowhere near something which might have been done on
purpose, and I have finally forgiven myself – or almost forgiven myself, because I still haven’t made use
of it yet, even though I had started to carry it along with me once again.” I said to him and watched as
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he stared at me without blinking as I said those words and how he started to nod his head as those
words sank into his mind the moment they were out of my mouth.
“It’s a good thing you’ve finally started to see this particr thing from my own point of view even
though I’ve wanted you to see and understand it for a really long time.” James started to say and I
allowed a small snort to slip out of my nose as I lifted up my fingers to stroke the tip of my fingers
through my curls, in the very next moment.
I leaned into the backrest of the couch more heavily and groaned low in my throat before tugging my
hands out of my hair and dragging the palm of my hands, over my face and lower to rest it on tne top of
my chest, before I started to speak once again.
“You and I know it’s not easy toe to terms with murder.” I finally said to him in a low voice, feeling
the top of my skin start to prickle as those words slipped out of my mouth. My throat was starting to
tighten up, the way it always does each time I thought about it– because no matter what James had
said, no matter how many times he had tried to change my train of thought, that sick feeling just
wouldn’t seem to leave my head for more then a few fleeting seconds, before it wound be back again to
stifle every nook and cranny of my head and mind, at the same time.
“I’ve said this so many times, Luca. It isn’t murder, it wasn’t on purpose.” James started to say and I
pursed my lips as I lifted my fingers and used to to drag over my face and to massage my fingers into
my eyes, oh feeling it start to ache a little.
“You and I know it was murder.” I finally replied to him and watched from the corner of my eyes as he
started to shake his head immediately. My words had sunk in his head, and I watched as he turned
around in his stare at me more openly.
“We both know it is murder.” I said to him, feeling my heart start to ache as the gory images of that
particr day start to sh around in my head all at once, filling some spots in my mind before I could
even bring myself to blink my aching eyes.
“It wasn’t a murder.” James argued, like I had no doubt he would. Because he was my best friend and
my right hand man, so of course he was going to try to make me feel better by all means, even if it was
through telling a lie, just to make me stop feeling bad.
“It was what then?” I demanded in a weakened voice, because I was suddenly feeling weak as fuck,
like the little amount of energy which I had been managing and trying to cling into, the suddenly gone
off before I could even drag in a deep breath– like a little burning candle which had finally burned to the
“It was a mistake. A bloody mistake.” He started to say with so much passion, I’d have almost chuckled
if it wasn’t that my throat was wll clogged up with some different kinds of emotions which I couldn’t
bring myself to try to ce my fingers on, or understand.
“It was still murder, nevertheless.” I said to him with a small puff of my breath and watched as he rolled
his eyes before leaning forwards towards me and starting to speak once again, “It wasn’t a murder, it
was a damn mistake.”
“But you do know that I’d have gone to jail if I hadn’t been a Mafia lord, or even involved with the mafia
lifestyle, right?” I began to ask him after a little while, because that was also one of reasons as to why I
had been having so many mixed feelings about this, as tne time went by, after that particr incident
had urred.
“Well, too bad. We won’t think about that because it cannot happen.” James started to say, sounding
fierce as fuck, giving a reply which I had expected from him even befute he had started to speak. “All
we are going to be focusing on, is the fact that it had been a mistake and it hadn’t been your fault.”
I remained quiet after that and allowed my eyes to slide shut as I dragged in a deep breath, allowing it
to slide through my lungs as I puffed it out after a few seconds had passed, feeling the breath slide out
ever slowly past my parted lips, and my nostrils.
“You didn’t do it on purpose, Luca.” James started to say after a few minutes had passed and we had
both remained silent, with me being on the road to gettingpletely lost in thoughts– until James’
voice had pulled my back to what was currently happening at the moment.
I turned my head around a little and stared at James without saying a thing as I turned my head back
around and stared down at my fingers which was absent mindedly drawing weird and straight lines on
the dark material of my suit pants.
“I know you, man. I know you’d never do something like that on purpose.” James started to say after
about a minute and continued almost immediately, after taking a few seconds pause. “You’re way too
kind hearted for that, to murder an innocent person on purpose.” James continued to say after a few
moments and I turned my head around to stare at him with my lips still pursed. A small snort left my
mouth and I raised an eyebrow at him as I started to speak after a few seconds.