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AliNovel > The Red Hand > Chapter 207 – The Squishy Designations.

Chapter 207 – The Squishy Designations.

    Chapter 207 – The Squishy Designations.


    "Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew!" A small Catkagi let out cute meows as she bounced an intable ball off her head while sitting on the living room table. Mika had asked her to do some tricks so she could record her, and the floofy <i>Demon</i> was not one to deny her friend a bit of fun.


    "And here she is everyone, the literal incarnation of darkness herself! Look how adorable she is bouncing that little ball! And don''t forget how those kitty ears and the tail that make her cuteness level fly off the charts!" Mikaughed as she recorded Akagi''s activity. "Join me in weing our new kitty-<i>Demon </i>overlord, and don''t forget to subscribe to the channel for more kitty content!" She''d made an entire channel dedicated to short videos and posts about Akagi, which had gotten an <i>absurd </i>amount of views.


    <i>{If this is anything like the video she posted of Onee-chan riding on the ceiling fan, she''s going to get MILLIONS of views...} </i>Kana had long since given up on trying to get her sister to act normal, and had reluctantlye to terms with Akagi''s antics. Though she tended to enjoy these things more than she''d ever admit to.


    "Why are you encouraging her?" Hishya sighed as her eyes followed the ball. She and some of the others were sitting around the living room table when Akagi decided to start acting silly and they were semi mesmerized by the rhythmic bouncing. "Is the money you get from ads <i>really </i>worth it?"


    "Come on, Hishya. You <i>can''t </i>tell me she''s not cute. I mean, just look at the cute little kitty and her silly ball bouncing! People love cat videos, so just imagine how much they''ll enjoy a kinda actually but not really catgirl that''s really a <em>Demon</em>." Mikaughed as she swiped away her recording software. "Now to upload it and see how many views it gets!"


    <i>{Mama needs a new AR device!} </i>(Mika)


    "I mean, she <i>is </i>cute, I''ll concede that point..." Hishya rolled her eyes. "But that''s not the most important thing here, Mika. You don''t see me doing silly things like that with my Dragon features, do you?" She figured people would be<em>very</em>interested in silly Dragon videos.


    "You''re acting all high and mighty for the person who was happily <i>ying</i> with said kitty when we got here." Naomi grinned.


    "SHE MADE ME DO IT!" Hishya eximed loudly in an attempt to cover her ass. She''d gotten a bit distracted as she messed around with Akagi, and didn''t notice the approaching girls. Kana took the opportunity to tease the heck out of her, and Mika got a video of Hishya ying tug of war with Akagi.


    <i>{That stupid cat KNEW they wereing and chose NOT to warn me...} </i>(Hishya)


    "A likely story." Kana huffed. "I see you''re the kind of girl to cheat on one sister with the other." She feigned being hurt.


    "You know that couldn''t be <i>further </i>from the truth." Hishya flicked her on the forehead. "Trust me, YOU are more than enough trouble, Kana. I don''t need whatever THAT is..." She pointed to Akagi, who was still bouncing the ball happily.


    "Akagi is <i>mine</i> anyway." Yumi gave a fierce smile that told everyone that she knew how to dispose of bodies. "I don''t share." She was fine with simple ying, but anything <em>more</em> was going to bring out the <i>scary </i>side of the Priestess.


    "Wait, why am I trouble?!?" Kana eximed while rubbing her forehead. "I never cause problems for anyone!" She couldn''t believe that Hishya of all people called <i>her </i>trouble!


    <i>{Thising from the Dragon who likes to sleep all day on her pillows yet always ends up in the middle of whatever chaos is going on!} </i>(Kana)


    "Shall I get out the list?" Hishya asked. "We can start with your incessant need to pick on others."


    "Yeah, Scary Kana is <i>big </i>trouble." Naomi smirked. "She''s given Mika and I such grief over these years." She decided to join in on the harassment.


    "Do I need to hit you with Himari <i>again</i>?" Kana red at her friend, ready to bonk her.


    "Please don''t use me to bludgeon people... I''m a sword, not a club..." Himariined about being used as an instrument of pain.


    "Anything heavy enough can be a club." Kana said confidently.


    <i>{I''m made for cutting, not bonking...} </i>(Himari)


    "Considering my sister is as foolish as she is, I''d say she should''ve been forged as a warhammer or some other kind of blunt weapon." Momo chuckled. "Lord knows she''s not very <i>sharp.</i>"


    "Pffff." (Mika x Naomi x Kana x Hishya x Yumi)


    "At least our creators got you right, Momo. After all, you are a <i>stick </i>in the mud." Himari hit back.


    "Ohhh scathing... What''s next? Are you going to call me a toothpick again?" Momo''s eye-rolling was audible.


    "Ok children, stop arguing." Akagi spoke up.


    "She started it." Himari tried pointing the me at her sister.


    “Its not my fault that Himari is like this.” Momo huffed. The two tended to act like this a bit more than Akagi would like, and she''d gotten frustrated with their incessant bickering when they were together.


    "And I don''t care." Akagi sighed. "Can it."


    "It''s just a bit of sibling banter." Hishya shrugged. "Honestly, it''s nothing that you and Kana don''t do." She was surprised that Akagi voiced her displeasure over the banter.


    "Oi!" Kana cried out in protest but was ignored.


    "Yeah, but you see. Unlike these two, when <i>we </i>do it its mostly for fun andughs rather than slinging stupidments back and forth.” Akagi said.


    <i>{Not to mention those two tend to get like this EVERY time they''re together...} </i>(Akagi)


    "By <i>we,</i> I think you mean <em>you</em>." Kana red at her. "Since 99% of the time, it''s <i>your</i> fault for starting things!" She didn''t like the insinuation that she was just as guilty as Akagi, though everyone else knew it was true.


    Akagi started whistling rather than answer herint.


    <i>{I''m gonna throw you, you tiny cat!} </i>(Kana)


    "Hey! The views andments are finallying in!" Mika said excitedly as she looked at her page. "The topment says <i>I Can''t Believe the World Ending Horror is this Cute!</i> and it has... <em>10k</em> likes already!" Sheughed.


    <i>{We''ve already got half a million views! I''m beginning to think I should just do this for my career. Maybe Akagi would take me on as her PR person?} </i>Mikaughed internally at her silly joke.


    "Well, I <i>am </i>cute, so it''s natural they think so." Akagi said with a smug expression.


    "Yes you are!" Yumi picked her up off the table and ced the small Catkagi in herp. "You''re the cutest world-destroying <i>Demon</i> kitty! When you decide to take over the world, you can just sit in myp while you order your legions to march forward!" Akagi and Yumiughed, though how seriously either of them were was unknown.


    <i>{I can already see it now...} </i>(Hishya)


    "How did <i>this</i> be our lives?" Hishya groaned. "We''ve got the Demon Lord turning herself into a small catgirl doing tricks for people on the inte forughs..."


    <i>{Its honestly kind of funny if you think about it, and about right for Akagi.} </i>(Naomi)


    "Don''t forget the constant threat of annihtion!" Akagi said while being fluffed.


    "Ah yes, <i>sorry</i>." Hishya rolled her eyes. "How could I forget <i>that </i>important tidbit."


    "I think Hishya is just envious." Yumiughed. "I bet that she wishes that she could shrink down and be a tiny Dragon that Kana snuggles with."


    "No I don''t!" Hishya denied the Priestess''s, likely urate, assertion. "I am perfectly content with how I am, and I don''t need anyone coddling me!" Though she wouldn''t deny that having Kana snuggle like that might have been nice.


    "I''d almost be inclined to believe you <i>if</i> you didn''t make a fuss when I yed with your tail." Kana squinted in doubt.


    <i>{You enjoy pets just as much as Onee-chan does! So don''t sit here and act like you''re better, Ms. Lizard who likes being spoiled!} </i>(Kana)


    "Quiet you!" Hishya growled at her.


    "Oh?" Mika and Naomi perked up.


    "I will refrain from saying more. But just know that our resident Dragon here is <i>much</i> more interested in being spoiled than she lets on." Kana giggled.


    <i>{I swear to god, if you talk about this any further I''m showing everyone those pictures!} </i>(Hishya)


    "Maybe we should start petting Hishya then?" Mika gave a twisted smile. "Would the Dragon like to be scratched? I could even lotion up your scales for you!"


    "Mika, you <i>do </i>recall what happened the LAST time you messed with me, don''t you." Hishya pursed her lips and made a small me appear. She''d definitely burn her again if she tried anything funny.


    "Don''t worry, Mika!" Akagi jumped into Mika''sp and spread out her arms in a protective manner. "The Kitty shall save you from the evil Dragon!"


    "My hero!" Mika swooned as the great kitty hero came to her rescue.


    "Come evil Dragon! I Akagi the Hero shall defeat you and save this fair wench from your nasty ns!" Akagi smirked.


    <i>{What the hell is this role reversal?!?} </i>(Hishya)


    "Yeah, you tell-" Mika stopped as she soon as she realized what Akagi said. "Wait, what do you mean <i>wench?!?</i>" She grabbed Akagi and started to squeeze the life out of the small cat.


    "It''s a form of endearment, don''t worry about it." Akagi smiled.


    "NO IT FUCKING ISN''T!" Mika squeezed Akagi so tight that she exploded in a shower of ck particles that rained down across the room.


    <i>{YOU FUCKING EXPLODED AGAIN!} </i>(Mika)


    "Did Akagi just... <i>explode</i>?" Naomi was struggling to speak as she wasughing too hard, and doubled over on the couch.


    "She does that asionally..." Kana was also simrly red fromughing.


    <i>{I hate that she can say that withplete seriousness...} </i>(Hishya)


    "Exploding is fun." Akagi reformed on Yumi''sp with a shit eating grin on her face.


    "I give you pets, treats, and even y with you, and <i>this</i> is how you repay me?!?" Mika cried in protest.


    "And all those things <em>are</em> appreciated." Akagi nodded. "But that doesn''t make you immune from my teasing, Mika. I think I''ve told you that before." She continued. "Besides, you make <em>lots</em> of money having me do silly things in those videos, so I think a bit of a <i>tax </i>is warranted." The <i>Demon</i> kitty snickered.


    "Damn you, kitty..." Mika red at her, knowing she was right.


    "At least she called you a <i>fair</i> wench." Naomi said while wiping tears from her eyes.


    "Suuure, because <em>that</em> makes things soooo much better." Mika sighed.


    "Hey,pared to the courtesans I hit up in FWO, Mika''s a 10/10." Akagi winked, which caused Yumi tough.


    "Oh god, don''t remind me of <i>that</i>..." Hishya shook her head. "You fucking <i>loved</i> going into the red light district..." She felt Kana''s gaze pierce into her soul. "A PLACE I NEVER <i><u><b>EVER</b></u></i><i><b> </b></i>WENT TO!"


    <i>{I can never tell Kana what I did in those ces...} </i>(Hishya)


    "I''m d to see Akagi spreads her torment among everyone equally." Yumi smiled.


    "Yeah, it''s nice to watch her mess with someone else for a change." Kana smiled in agreement, since she was usually the most targeted of the group.


    "Yup." Hishya nodded.


    "Mika gets off light on that front, in my opinion anyway." Naomi agreed.


    "She literally <i>never </i>picks on you." Mika frowned. Most of the time Akagi never did anything to harass Naomi, and she thought it was unfair favoritism.


    "Naomi gets enough crap from me by listening to my issues." Akagi said. "Thus I keep additional tormenting to a minimum aspensation." She figured that was only fair.


    "You bastard!" (Kana x Mika)


    "Why does <i>she</i> get special treatment?!?" Kana was genuinely annoyed. "I''m your sister, and I get no reprieve!"


    <i>{You treat your friend better than your own sister?!?} </i>(Kana)


    "Yeah, and you even called me your Official Backup Squishy!" Mika thought this was a silly title but liked it. "Where are my benefits?!?" She figured the title came with some kind of better treatment and rewards.


    "Backup squishy?" Hishya didn''t understand that term. "What does that mean? I don''t like the sound of it..." She figured it was something stupid.


    "It just means that Mika is my go-to in case Yumi is unavable for pets and other snuggles." Akagi smiled.


    <i>{I shall not allow it! Akagi will be floofed by me as much as possible!} </i>(Yumi)


    "Ahh, so Mika''s one of your <i>capture targets</i>." Hishyaughed as she used a term from Otome games.


    "Yup, but rather than sex, my harem provides snuggles, cuddles, and pets." Akagiughed as Yumi yed with her ears.


    "Oh god, she''s right..." Kana put her head in her hands as she realized the truth.


    <i>{Onee-chan has her own fucking snuggle harem...} </i>(Kana)


    "Is that all we are to you? People who provide for your needs?" Mika asked in fake outrage.


    "Yep! You exist for one purpose, and that is to spoil me!" Akagi chuckled. “Be happy, for you have been given a great honor by being a designated floofer!”


    "When people ask what the meaning of life is, we can just tell them that your only purpose is to pet the <i>Demon </i>kitty." Naomiughed.


    "Of the many answers to that question, this has to be the one that<em>nobody</em>had on their bingo card." Kana sighed.


    <em>{Speaking of bingo card, I need to check mine again. I''ve been crossing so many things off it over thisst year that its been crazy.}</em>(Akagi)


    "My condolences, Yumi." Hishya was stillughing. “I can''t imagine how demanding of you the <i>kitty </i>is.”


    <i>{The poor girl must be tired from all the sleepless nights.} </i>(Hishya)


    "Akagi is a harsh mistress, but I shall do all in my power to meet her snuggle needs!" Yumi startedughing as she picked up the small Catkagi and began to woosh her around like a toy airne.


    "Out of curiosity, what titles would the rest of us have?" Naomi asked about their squishy designations.


    "Kana would be Initially Reluctant Squishy. Hishya would be Angry Squishy and Naomi, you would be Emergency Squishy!" Akagi answered.


    "I hate how my title is so urate..." Kana hung her head in defeat.


    <i>{I''ve basically sumbed to her craziness and now y with her on the regr. What has be of me?} </i>(Kana)


    "Why am I the angry one?" Hishya asked, pretending not to know the answer.


    "Because you yell a lot." Akagi smiled. "And because you''re a Dragon."


    "How did we get here again?" Mika asked the question everyone else wanted to.


    "I keep telling you, Onee-chan can lower our IQ with her powers..." Kana sighed. "And she uses said power to derail everything and make us talk about stupid things."


    "Hey, at least we''re having fun!" Akagi gave a toothy smile. "Just sit back, rx, and enjoy the floofy cat. I can promise you that touching me is quite refreshing! I''ve spent countless hours making this body as squish and soft as possible!"


    "Indeed! The power of floofpels you!" Yumi giggled as she held Akagi out in front of her. "All hail the mighty <i>Demon </i>kitty of floof and destruction! May her reign be eternal and filled with nothing but cuteness!"


    "I for one wee our new fluffy overlord." Mikaughed.
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