Chapter 40 (re)


    Alexa had a ck charcoal eye shadow surround her eyelids and a grey smudge underneath her ck


    eyes. The Elvan woman looked well made up, but false. She had a feeling that those weren’t her real


    eyes, as much as the tinum hair colour was not her own, but re wasn’t about to point that out.


    “Yes, we fought together, but Franchesca has undoubtedly made more enemies than she had friends


    or allies.”


    re didn’t know how that was possible, there were lots of people at the ceremony, how could her


    mother have made more enemies.


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    She couldn’t get used to the name Franchesca. Not Michelle, but Franchesca, was it normal that she


    was angry at her mother but at the same time frustrated and hurt that she had to die so soon. re’s


    stomach tightened into knots. Bile rose and she flinched with the sick feeling. She had forgotten the


    painful cramping in her stomach, but now it worsened tenfold.


    She looked at Alexa’s expressionless face. This woman, who looked in her early twenties, didn’t even


    blink, but just stood up straight directly opposite re, refusing to lower her eyes, which just seemed to


    tick re off, “My mother is dead if you have nothing good to say I suggest you leave.”


    Alexa dropped her eyes and looked ahead toward the shore of theke, “It’s not that simple, we’re all


    descendants after all, and I’m the Elvan Princess and half Lightwatcher, a friend of your brother’s.”


    “Nathan?”


    “No, Calub, I heard he’s missing. I’m here to honour your mother’s death for his sake, but I’m also here


    to seek answers from others.”


    “You mean Caster’s.”


    “It isn’t wise to assume that which you do not know.”


    “You don’t like me very much do you?”


    “Elvan do not express emotion mildly.”


    “Ah, but you are half Lightwatcher.”


    Alexa turned her gazes back to re, who was certain that the Elvan woman''s face was pulled into a


    frown, “I really don’t know what he sees in you.” She took in re’s appearance as though she was


    taking in an unappealing view, “You’re not even blonde, you are barely mature.”


    re’s stomach felt assaulted as the pain grew to new heights, she felt a bead of sweat trickle her


    temple, as she bit down the urge to weep, “I don’t know who the hell you are talking about.” She gritted


    out, through clenched teeth, “and frankly I don’t care.”


    re marched away from Alexa, her hand stuck on her stomach and limped her way toward the crowd.


    The pain began to numb in the core of her stomach.


    She felt her body now being drawn to the coffin. Inhaling, she smelt a stronger scent of musk, mixed


    with the citrone. She walked, crossing paths with a group of Elvan who wore red robes, that


    resembled blood, and worked her way closer to the gold coffin, which glistened in the light of the fire


    and the Lightwatcher’s souls.


    The coffin was decorated with engravings written in ancient script embedded on the golden casket and


    in itid her mother, lifeless, blue eyes now closed by flesh and freckles and deadened by the blueness


    in her skin. Breathless, re swallowed, her throat squeezing in.


    The lifeless body was covered in shiny dust of red, but re got closer, her body tensed, the hairs on


    her skin stood up, she took a step closer, it wasn’t dust or dry powder, but a slimy liquid that smelt like


    musk. It had red shiny beads inside the jelly substance.


    She let out a harsh exhale and inhaled a strong smell of musk, which hade from the coffin, before


    she put her hand on her mouth, attempting not to scream, but it was too much.


    The noise from the crowd had dissipated around her, suddenly it was just her and what was left of her


    mother whose skin was so pale, she could’ve sworn it was almost surreal.


    re’s heart pulsed at higher beats with every second passed, the yearning for her mother’s eyes to


    open and stare at her. The smell of her mother’s hands when she would touch her skin, always


    smelling of rubber from wearing gloves. Just yesterday that face had smiled at her, those lips had


    spoken to her, just yesterday her mother’s arms had held her. She hated the way it happened, she


    wished she hadn’t said those things to her. She should’ve tried to understand when her mother told her


    that Nathan was her brother, now she would live with this feeling, this hatred of herself, and all the


    unasked questions. She wanted to scream, she wanted to yell, parts of her felt like it was exploding,


    but all re could do, all she could effort to do, was standing there with her hand on her mouth,


    gasping for air.


    Her body wanted to tear itself up from the inside out, rip her heart out as her mothers had been. She


    remembered her mother’s words a year ago, it was a day after she won the swim offs, “You can never


    truly love until you have lost, re.”


    Now she stood there, and she understood, what her mother meant, she understood, loss, and it undid


    her. Thest threshold she had, thest of her strength, her willpower, gone.