Chapter 59


    wouldn''t have believed it if the weight of her body didn''t tackle me to the ground. Her familiar smell and


    the warmth of her hands surrounded me and overwhelmed by it and by how much I had actually


    missed it, I began to cry as I hugged her back.


    "What are you doing here?" I asked, tears rolling down my cheeks, "How?"


    "Girl, shut up and let me hug you as much as I want." her words were muffled and choked, making me


    giggle slightly as I pat her hair that was in braids "I''ve fucking missed you."


    "I''ve missed you too."


    That was how weid together, on the cold ground as little kes of snow began to fall. I stroked her


    hair softly as she cried hard into my shoulder. A warrior suddenly appeared in my vision, and obviously


    wanted to help us up but I raised a finger to tell him to give us a minute.


    A little whileter, her head popped up and a big bright grin was stered over her face.


    "Is it me or have you gotten buffer? What the hell have you been eating?" she asked, scrunching her


    eyebrows like she hadn''t just ugly cried into my shoulder


    Iughed as we stood up and answered, "Trust me. My muscles have nothing to do with food."


    Her lively chatter started up immediately. She spoke animatedly of how the Blue moon pack was a


    beautiful ce and how she had made friends with the pack warriors that she had been standing with.


    Although I had numerous questions, I let her say everything she wanted and gush about how she had


    missed me and more as we got into the car and drove off. She told me how it wasn''t long that she had


    gotten in and had demanded to be taken to me at once.


    I obviously couldn''t wrap my head around the fact that she was here in the pack. What had happened


    during these few months for Xander to change his mind? I found myself pondering over it as we drove


    through town and towards the direction of Xander''s house.


    "Is it only you? What about Ben and Maria? Donovan and Freddie? What about-?"


    "One at a time, jeez. Everyone is good and we are all here." The information made my heart soar and I


    found myself smiling in excitement as we pulled into the driveway. I could sense them before I could


    see them and once the doors were unlocked, I pushed myself out of the car and ran towards the door,


    pulling it open with little to no grace


    My feet led the way and as I turned into the living room, I found them all, sitting andughing as dys


    poured juice.


    "M-Maria. Ben." Their eyes turned to me and what came after was the most heart-wrenching reunion


    ever. The familiar warm, firm arms of Maria wrapped around me and I found myself breaking down so


    quickly, it was almost unreal


    The little drum of energy against my abdomen, which came around for the first time in a while,


    reminded me of who I was and the things I had been through. It reminded me of what my hands had


    done and the months that I had to be strong for myself and others.


    It hurt. It hurt so much I found myself gasping for breath as I held on tighter, giving in to the feelings I


    had tried to ignore. Despite the loving shushing sounds I heard and thefort, it did nothing to


    alleviate the throb of pain I felt. I was supposed to be relieved and crying with happiness, wasn''t I? Like


    I had done when I first saw Astelle.


    My family should get the same. I shouldn''t give in this way and allow things to happen. Still, as I told


    myself this, I felt my consciousness slipping away as I nuzzled my head deeper.


    This is where I was supposed to be.


    ''Ava'' Keira''s voice was loud in my mind like she was screaming ''It''s okay. Please calm down.


    Everything is okay now baby girl. It''s alright.''


    Yes, it was alright now.


    "W-What''s happening?" I heard a voice ask, "She''s getting hotter!"


    "Do something!"


    "Get some water from the kitchen Freddie!"


    "Her eyes are closing. Is she still breathing?"


    Their voices got fainter and fainter and my vision flickered constantly, through tears and an aching


    heart. My hand reached out for someone to grab it, wanting to let them know that I was fine. Wanting to


    tell them that even though no words escaped me, I desperately wanted them to pull me deeper into


    their arms.


    The voices ceased for a moment and I felt cold for a moment before the warmth engulfed me again. My


    heart that beat frantically began to calm down and although it remained irregr, I felt myself start to


    breathe again and the feeling of giving in to the pain dulled significantly. My whole body felt alive and


    my hand was covered by the strong hands of one I knew.


    There was no mistaking who was holding me.


    My eyes opened slowly and after blinking for a few seconds, I looked around. Ben held Maria as they


    looked at me with worried expressions. Cassie had the expression of someone that was going to pass


    out. Donovan looked pissed but so confused, that it was almostical. Freddie held Astelle''s hand


    and Smith held a jug of water with his mouth ajar.


    My body became hyperaware and looking down, I found a messy head of dark hair nestled into the


    crook of my neck in the most awkward of positions. His breath tickled my neck and stupidly, the heat


    rose to my cheeks as his head rose slightly for his eyes to meet mine. The right was blue but the left


    was as ck as night


    "Are you okay?" he asked quietly, the darkness in his left eye not dissipating. I licked my lips and


    nodded my head, before clearing my throat "Good."


    "I.." I started, taking a deep breath "I''m sorry. I haven''t learnt how to-"


    "It''s alright." his interruption was apanied by a ghost of a smile as he pulled away from me, but still


    supported me with his arms as we stood together "Can you stand right?"


    "Yes. Thank you."


    Slowly, his arms left me to stand on my own, the cold setting in again as I turned to fully face my loved


    ones. Although I should have been embarrassed that they had witnessed the episode and the remedy


    to my episode, I didn''t let it hinder the happiness I felt and took turns hugging them and whispering that


    I was okay. Through it all, Xander stood behind me and patiently waited. When he was sure I was fine


    and everyone was quietly seated, he nodded his head and disappeared out of our sight.


    ''He''ll be okay.'' It relieved me as I heard Keira''s voice and quietly agreed.


    dys gave me onest smile as well, before leaving us all alone.


    Theck of his presence was like a pinch at my skin, but I ignored it as I addressed their questioning


    gazes. Maria held my right hand as Astelle held onto my left, caging me between them


    "Since when are you flirty with your abuser?" Donovan''s loud question cut through the air, shocking me


    My eyes turned to see him, on the edge of his seat and ring at the spot Xander had stood.


    "Donovan." the stern warning in Ben''s voice was clear as Maria clutched my hand tighter


    "It''s okay." I answered, smiling slightly to show that I wasn''t upset. This kind of reaction was to be


    expected. My focus centred on Donovan''s irritated expression as I said "I can''t keep fighting with him,


    Don. You don''t know everything, frankly, even if any of you did, I doubt that you''d understand."


    I sighed heavily, and my mind took me back to the many things between Xander and me these past few


    months. Fighting each other, ignoring each other and hanging on to the feelings of the past. It was true,


    a few months back, I would have never imagined things would turn out this way and I would never


    imagine that the hate I thought I felt for him could simmer down to what it was now. Xander respected


    me, no matter how much of a stubborn person he was. He was open about some things and he got on


    my nerves, I found it easier to rte with him now than before. Only an idiot would do what I was doing,


    living and being friendly with someone that had left a scar on me that would possibly never heal but I


    would also be an idiot for not acknowledging that things could get better.


    With this in mind, I began to exin to them in detail just what had transpired between us, from the


    moment we had met until this very moment. At some points, I found myself crying. At some points,


    there were so many emotions from around the room that there was a bit of effort put in for me to


    continue speaking. Other times weughed together, as they heard about the embarrassing things I


    had done.


    Purposely, I skipped some information so as to not give them any more anxiety than they were


    probably already feeling.


    By the time I was done, they sat quietly and looked to be in their own thoughts. Donovan''s face didn''t


    change and he looked like he still thought of what to say, even as Freddie''s hand was firmly mped


    down on his shoulder.


    "So from what I''m seeing and from what you just said.." Smith said, being the first to speak up as he


    pushed his hair backwards "...he''s head over heels in love with you but he doesn''t force his feelings on


    you."


    "Doesn''t force his feelings?" Ben snorted, "Did you see him breathing down her neck? That boy


    deserves a smack in the head. He''s lucky I was too shocked to do anything."


    "Oh you know you wouldn''t have been able to do anything honey." Maria said, smiling at him. He


    grinned back at her, shrugging his shoulders


    "I bet he''d have taken you down within 5 seconds." Freddie inputted


    "5?" Cassie''s loud familiar cackle was like music to my ears "That''s too much credit you''re giving poor


    old Benjamin."


    "Shut up Cassandra." a yful scowl appeared on his face and I found myself giggling quietly


    "Wait, you guys are okay with this?" I asked, thinking about how their reactions were so minimal


    "With everything that''s happened, of course, we are. I don''t think anyone has had any reason to doubt


    your judgement." Astelle said beside me, rolling her eyes like it was the most obvious thing to do


    "You don''t think I''m being too reckless?" I asked, still feeling worried


    "You''ve been reckless for as long as I''ve known you Ava." Maria said, "It tends to note out much,


    but I''ve always known."


    Iughed as conversation resumed around me, everything centring on the stupid things I had done


    over the years. My spirit became settled as I joined in, just like old times and fondly watched them joke


    around. All conversation was suddenly cut short when Donovan stood up and walked off to God knows


    where.


    "Going for a walk." he mumbled quietly, knowing I''d hear him


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    The bang of the front door was loud as I felt it underneath my feet. I made the move to stand but


    Maria''s hand held onto mine tighter, drawing my attention to her.


    "Leave him be." she said, "The Alpha told us that there are guards all around so he won''t get far."


    "What if he causes trouble?"


    "Then maybe he''ll have some sense knocked into him and see that you''re not that scared girl we


    adopted all those years ago." Her warm smile calmed me as I hugged her and gradually, the


    conversation resumed around me. Although I was slightly worried, as he was a human in werewolf


    territory, I believed that nothing would happen to him


    If anything did, Xander would be to me and obviously, it would do nothing for the tonic


    rtionship we now had. It was almostical to imagine, but I had realised it sooner thanter that


    he wouldn''t do anything to hurt the ones I loved and would make sure no one under his authority would


    either.


    Well, maybe except Marcus. I still worried about how they rted with each other. Hopefully, he got to


    meet my adoptive family.


    As I looked around at my family, I hoped deep inside, that, unlikest time, I would have no reason to


    be torn from them again.