Chapter 56
A blush rose to my cheeks and I cleared my throat as I tore my eyes away from him, looking out at the
"I never knew my parents." I said, hoping my voice came out strong enough "Frankly, the only parents
that I''ve ever had are Ben and Maria. They taught me what it was to truly love and be loved, regardless
of who you are."
"They are really important to you."
Iughed a little "I''d do anything for them. They really helped me through a lot and took care of me
without even knowing me. It was because I met them that I got to be a ballet dancer."
"You really like it?"
"Like it? I love it! I started dancing when I came out of therapy. Of course, I wasn''t fully recovered, so I
guess dancing for me was what gardening was for you; a coping mechanism. Along the line though, it
made me so happy that I decided to be a teacher."
I remembered how the little girls in the dance studio were always excited toe in every day. The
sound of Cassie''s voice as she encouraged them and the little moments that we would have snack
breaks. I really did enjoy what my life was like.
"Things have changed and obviously, I can''t do what I used to months ago, but I won''t ever stop loving
ballet." I said and turned to him with a big stupid smile on my face "It''s kind of ironic how getting on
stage to perform in front of people was a remedy to my anxiety."
"Not really. I think it''s beautiful. Just like you." he said
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I''m just wondering."
"About?"
"If I was born to a normal family and had grown up a normal person..." he frowned a little, the clenching
of his jaw visible "If I wasn''t such a monster, would you have loved me enough for your eyes to light up
the way they just did?"
There was no way to answer that question. Would I? My mind couldn''t imagine Xander and I meeting in
another circumstance. We had both been born into a world and a time that had dealt us difficult cards,
made us do things normal people would never do and develop rtionships destined by fate. Turning
back the hands of time wouldn''t be enough for us to escape the inevitable and recently, I had be
painfully aware of that.
I was lucky enough to have a redeeming moment that had saved me from my suffering. I wondered if
Xander''s redeeming moment had been the moment he had given the title of ''Alpha''. Then again, even
years after, he was still suffering. There was really no way to determine.
"If you feed me enough..." I started, smiling slightly "I might consider it."
His eyes widened a little bit before he started chuckling, probably not expecting that response.
"What are you? A puppy?"
"Hey! The only puppy here is you! I''m not the one that does those cute little head tilts all the damn
time."
"Cute?" He tilted his head and I scowled, realising what I had just said "You think my head tilts are
cute?"
"You know what Alexander? You were much better when you struggled to talk."
His chuckling turned into small amounts ofughter and although I kept scowling at him, it was a rare
sight to see himughing and for some reason, it made me happy.
.............
"That chocte cake was wonderful!" I gushed, for the thousandth time as we drove home. I heard
Xander''s small groan beside me and directed a re at him "Don''t you dare do that. It''s your fault for
taking me there."
"I apologize for making you have a good time." he said and I could hear the smile in his voice
I had ended up having the most wonderful time. Mainly because the food was so pleasing, I had ended
up meeting the cook and asking her for recipes. Of course, she was not supposed to tell but because it
was me, I was given ess and had promised in excitement to not tell another soul. The chocte
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cake was the nail on my coffin and my spirit had been ted since then. I could think of nothing that
would change this.
Xander and I had ended up talking throughout and I had found out things about him that I never
imagined could be true. Like the fact that his favourite food was Chicken Biryani or that he wished he
could paint or the fact that he liked cats more than he liked puppies. The sheer amount of intimacy that
had been built between us tonight was unexpected, but I weed it. There were no romantic feelings
attached and I felt knowing more helped me to be less hostile towards him.
The only downside was, in my joy, I had forgotten to take my flowers and only remembered halfway
here. Xander had assured me it was alright and told me he''d get me another bouquet if I wanted.
"I''ll tell dys all about the chocte cake. I want to bake one if I can." I said as we pulled into the
driveway "You''re not expecting me to wait for you to open my door, are you?"
Before I had finished speaking, he hade down from the car and I shook my head as he crossed
over to my side and pulled the door open. I exited and let him shut the door behind me as I climbed up
the steps to the front door. His footfalls were behind me as I pulled the door open and went in. The
night had gotten much colder and my coat wasn''t enough to keep me warm anymore. I pulled it off and
also took off the sandals, the under of my feet cooling as they touched the floor.
I turned back to look at him. He stood with his two hands in his pockets as he stared back at me.
"Thank you for tonight." I said, genuinely d I had ended up going out with him "Even though you
basically tricked me, I had a good time."
He didn''t answer but took a few steps closer to where I stood.
"Will you dance with me?" he asked, surprising me even further
"What?" I asked "Dance?"
"I promise I won''t do anything you don''t want me to."
I was hesitant, but he had asked me and not demanded. I had ended up enjoying myself tonight so the
least I could do this.
"Okay." I said, my voice smaller
He grabbed my items and ced them aside, before taking a hold of my hand and guiding me towards
the direction of the living room. The centre table was gone, the space now open. He pulled away,
leaving me to stand at the centre before switching on the speaker. A soft melodious voice rang through
the room as he turned back to look at me. He reached for me again, one arm holding my waist and the
other, holding my hand up. His eyes and mine stared back into each other and I was unable to look
away.
We were so close that it frightened me. I could hear my heart beating against my chest as I listened to
the lyrics. It was one of the most sensual love songs I had ever heard, with abination of
instruments that I automatically moved to. Before I knew it, I was rxing and seemed to melt in his
arms as we moved together slowly. Our feet moved together, across the small space that we had,
ording to the rhythm of the song. My head rested on his chest gradually and I listened to his erratic
heartbeat that was almost as loud as my own.
My eyes closed on their own ord as the song drew to a close and we stopped moving. It was only
for a short moment, but it had gotten me so emotional that I couldn''t understand. It was a weird sense
of nostalgia that nestled in my heart and it ached badly.
"I''m in love with you." he said, quietly "I seem to love you the more I spend time with you."
I didn''t open my eyes and didn''t respond as he spoke. There was nothing I could say.
"I don''t need an answer and I don''t expect you to love me back. It might be selfish, but all I want is to
stay with you as long as I can."
His arm tightened around me as his other hand touched my chin to lift my head. My eyes opened and
widened as I saw that my vision had gotten blurry, tears filling up my eyes.
"No matter how difficult I am or how much of a monster I be, please let me stay with you."
I couldn''t stop the tears as they flowed down my cheeks. It was painful. It was so so painful and it didn''t
help that a smile appeared on his face as he wiped the tears away.
"At least before you leave me forever."