Chapter 45- Arabe


    As Zeno dragged me to the pack’s houses, I jerked my hand out of his, taking advantage of his


    distraction. He looked at me shocked. Did he expect me to do whatever he wants?


    “What happened?” He asked bewildered.


    “Nothing much. Just your highness holding my hand without permission.” I sneered.


    “Why can’t I hold your hand?”


    He looked at me like he was doing someplex calctions for a space ship.


    “Oh let me think.” I started rubbing my jaw like I was thinking really hard. “You, my bully, is holding my


    hand like we are friends. Isn’t that a dreame true? Why wouldn’t I want the person who made my


    life a living hell, act like everything is just peachy? I mean that will exempt me from further torture. I do


    have to be careful now or I would fall into a fall pretense and you would probably try to hurt me again.


    Can’t be more careful these days, can we now?”


    The sarcasm dripping from my tone was so sharp that Zeno flinched at every word I said. I gave him


    my best smile in return. He looked… ashamed? Now that’s something new on him.


    “Look I am sorry for what I did to you all these years.” I raised my eyebrows at him. “It’s just… you had


    so much control over my emotions to the point that I absolutely hated it. You made me feel different but


    you never gave me even a look. You didn’t even know what you were doing to me. Now I know that you


    were in some sort of distress but my seven year old mind thought that you had an attitude and weren’t


    giving me any attention. I thought that you didn’t even knew that I existed. I wanted to make you look at


    me. Know about me. Be aware of my presence but you never even looked in my general direction.”


    He red at me like it was my fault that I didn’t know he existed at that time. I had just lost my family.


    What did he expect me to do? Go on y dates with him. I didn’t even had met him before I moved in


    with mom and dad.


    “I thought you were full of yourself so I did what I thought was right at the time. I made you a social


    pariah so you will only pay attention to me but you still didn’t even make an effort for it. Then I started


    bullying you and I got what I had wanted all that time.”


    He had a mad glint in his eyes. It scared the shit out of me. Before I could make a run for it, he started


    pacing around and talking.


    “You were aware of my presence now but I didn’t like it how hard I had to try to just make you look at


    me. So I tried to make it harder for you to be in school. Why should I be the only one to suffer? You


    didn’t have any friends as I had already taken care of that part. You won’t possibly pay attention to me


    if you had someone else to look for, that’s what I thought. I will make it so difficult for you that you won’t


    have anyone to lean on other than me but guess what? I didn’t get the response I wanted but I was


    happy with what I got.”


    He stopped pacing and grinned at me but his eyes said something else. There was regret shining in his


    eyes. I don’t know what to think about this anymore.


    “Only one emotion was enough. Only one nce was enough. Even a word from you was enough and


    I hated it to the point that I wanted to torture you so bad that you will end up crying for ages. I did not


    like the control you had on me at all. It made me feel like a ve to you. I wanted to ruin you for that,


    for making my life hell but I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you. It made me sad at the same time.”


    He sat down by a tree on the side of the trial. I didn’t move from my position. I couldn’t. It felt like


    someone shot freeze ray at me. I don’t know if it was fear or shock but my body refused to move. A


    “Then the summer before high school hit. It was the worst period of my life. It felt like my life and soul


    was getting drained out of me slowly. I was snapping at everyone and everything. I was a mess. Then


    the bonfire night came and I saw you. All the bad feeling, the pain, the emptiness, everything left me. I


    couldn’t tell how happy and vexed I was at the same time. You still had the same control over me.”


    He was twisting his fingers madly. He looked agitated.


    “I had decided that year that I would distance myself from you and start anew but you still wiggled your


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    way in my life and you were totally unaware of it. Again. So I dumped my n of leaving you alone and


    started hurting you anytime I could. Being near you made it easier to cope with the darkness that was


    spreading inside me. Hell even being in the same building made it easier to breath freely. So I came


    down harder on you. I couldn’t let any chance to get pass me to be near you. How could I? The feeling


    without you being there was horrible and I loathed it even more. There were times I wanted to talk to


    you nicely but all that woulde out of my mouth would be something horrible that would be bad


    enough to make you unhappy. That had unfortunately be a bad habit of mine. I tried so hard to


    make you see me. I knew you hated me but I couldn’t stop. I tried even harder BUT YOU STILL


    IGNORED ME LIKE I AM SOME UGLY CENTIPEDE.”


    I flinched as he screamed pulling his hair in frustration. I had a very strong urge tough as a centipede


    with Zeno’s head danced in front of my eyes but I controlled myself.


    He got to his feet and closed the distance between us in two strides. If I say that I am scared, it would


    be a major understatement. He fingers caressed my cheeks softly but not even the sparks made it


    easier to not want to run for the hills. I shouldn’t havee here with him. Why did I have toe here


    alone with him?