Chapter 81: 80 - I Love You
The barn wasn''t too far away so we made it without a hitch. We had to duck and cover a few times to
avoid hybrids, they''ve started going through the residential areas and setting fires to lure us away from
the front lines, but we made it out.
I sighed when I could finally reach the barn door and get these two to safety. It''ll also be good to get
these pesky cuts cleaned up.
I opened the massive doors. The feeling of relief immediately drained from my body.
So many soldiers injured from battle, some practically on their death bed.
And this fight is just getting started.
My mind started reeling out of control.
How the h3ll are we supposed to do this on our own?
Even with my house, Wolfie''s pack, and Abaddon''s housebined, we need reinforcements from the
west. Abaddon''s forces have practically been wiped outpletely, and by the state of this ce
alone, I can tell we''re gonna take heavy losses.
If allies from the west don''t join us, they''ll have their own fight with the hybrids in no time, and it''ll be
The Blood War all over again.
I shook off my thoughts and helped the traumatized mother and daughter onto some hay cushioning
the floor.
I felt my talent gnawing at me more than it has been, so I looked up to see what''s going on.
To my surprise, I found Brandon looking at me in rm.
It makes sense that he''d be the one to transport them here, he has some medical training, but why is
he looking at me like that?
Dread filled my stomach.
I frowned, "What''s going on?"
I realized that everyone was looking at me in a mixture of regret and fear.
I sniffed the air and caught something painfully familiar.
After Brandon didn''t answer me and just shook his head, I stepped forward to confront him about
what''s going on, but he met me in the middle.
"No Maria, I''ll tell youter but right now we need to —"
I finally recognized the smell.
Desi.
"Move," I shoved passed him frantically. My heart suddenly going a million miles a minute and my mind
only on one thing.
Blood.
Tears sprung to my eyes.
And poison.
This can''t be happening.
There was a group of people, one being a nurse, surrounding a small body.
One that I now know is the little angel, Desi.
I don''t believe it.
The nurse looked up at me with sorrowful eyes and moved so I could see past her.
NO!
Sure enough, there she was. The sweetest, gentlest being known to man, with a dagger sticking out of
her stomach, unconscious.
Her veins now ck and bulging from the poison infecting her body.
Areas of her skin around the knife appearing scorched and sensitive.
I let out a sob and fell to my knees next to her.
What the hell?
"What happened?" I hollered, unable to contain myself.
How could this even happen?
"Her group was attacked, she fought to give the others time to run," the nurse whispered.
I don''t believe it.
I DON''T.
How could life be allowed to be this unfair?
"She distracted the hybrid long enough for the others to hide here."
She''s 15 for crying out loud.
She''s a child.
"We gave her something to slow down the poison, but there''s nothing we can do to stop it."
And now she''s DYING.
Oh my goddess this is all my fault.
"She saved a lot of people."
This is all my fault.
I''m so stupid.
OH MY GODDESS.
She''s dying because of me.
Because of me.
I never should have let her —
"Maria?"
I gasped at the fragile voice that came from below me. I''m used to Desi''s voice being quiet and unsure,
but she''s always been full of life. I grasped onto her cold hand like it was my lifeline.
I wish I was in this position, not her. She doesn''t deserve this. No one does, but ESPECIALLY not Desi.
"Desi!" I called back.
"Did you hear, Maria? I did it. I got everyone to safety like you asked," she croaked out with the
smallest smile on her face.
"Desi. . ."
I wanted to scold her. I wanted to yell at her and tell her that she didn''t do as I said. I told her to live. I
told her if anything happened to run. To escape. No matter what.
And she didn''t do that. She stayed and fought and saved all those people, BUT NOW SHE''S DYING.
She had to be the hero. She just had to.
She couldn''t stop to think about herself just this once?
I shouldn''t be surprised. . . and I''m not.
That''s just who Desi is. A hero at heart. I wanted to tell her to take it back and live, no matter what.
But that can''t happen. . .
. . . No matter how angry I am at the world for taking her away from me, I can''t actually say that. I can''t
take it out on her. There''s nothing either of us can do to change it now.
No matter how much I wanna scream and yell and sob at the terrible turn of events, someone''s death
bed is no ce for any of that.
Desi deserves better than that.
"Yeah, I did hear." My voice shook as I spoke and moved the hair from her face.
I wanted to say more. I wanted tofort her, but the lump in my throat grew with every breath.
The smile on her face diminished at myck of enthusiasm and there was silence.
C''mon Maria. Say something. You''re running out of time. If you''re ever going to do something right in
your life, now would be the time.
"But I guess you were right. . . I wasn''t cut out for any of this stuff."
My hanging head sprung up at that. What? No no no. Please don''t tell me you think that, Desi.
"What? Not cut out to fight? Destiny, you saved all those people. You''re a hero," I cried as I caressed
the hair on her head. "I just. . . I just. . ."
Wish you didn''t have to die.
I can''t say that. I need to try andfort her, this isn''t about me.
"I always knew you''d do great things," I choked out, and that much was true. I knew that giant heart of
hers would get her in trouble, but I also knew she would help a lot of people. And she did just that.
The quiet smile appeared back on her face and a nearly imperceivableugh whispered from her lips.
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"I bet you could have done it without getting yourself killed."
I shook my head. What nonsense. I''ve been stabbed like 5 times.
The only reason I''m not dead is because of my past and what they did to me, and I had nothing to do
with that.
"Nah, even the best of warriors get battle wounds." I slowly lifted my shirt to show her the gash in my
side. "I''m just impressed with how brave you were, Desi. You knew the risks, and you took them, and
saved people." I tried to force my words to quit shaking and failed, but I need to say this. "I''m so proud
of you."
Her eyes started tearing up now. ". . . Really?"
. . . Why does she sound so surprised? Does she not know I view her as a literal angel on earth?
"Of course," I agreed frantically.
There was a moment of silence.
"Thanks," she smiled.
". . . Why wouldn''t I be proud of you?" I worried about her response.
"I don''t know," her voice cracked. "You never trust me with big things and are always telling me to be
careful. . . Treating me like a kid," she trailed off.
YOU ARE A KID.
YOU''RE FIFTEEN.
YOU DESERVE TO LIVE HAPPILY PAST FIFTEEN.
You deserve to live forever.
"Can I tell you something silly?" I asked her.
She nodded feebly.
"A few years after my parents died. . . And I felt like I had no family other than Rose and Brandon, you
came along for training. You were so young, and I could tell you were scared, but I could also tell you
had a good heart, and that you wanted to make a difference. After a while, I started to view you as like
a little sister," I chuckled fondly at the memories with tears in my eyes. "That''s why I was a little
overprotective over the years. It''s not because I thought you were incapable. . . It''s actually the
opposite. I just wanted to keep you safe. . . Sounds like I went a little overboard though."
Desi''s eyes sparkled beneath me. "Really?" She asked again.
"Really," I nodded, forcing a smile.
There was a pause, I could tell she was looking for the words to say something.
". . . Well in that case, can I tell you something now?" She asked me, her voice bing weaker by
the second.
I quickly nodded and grasped on tighter to her hand. Ready to hold on to every word she says.
. . . I have a feeling our time to talk ising to an end.
The ckness of the poison is spreading fast.
"I''ve always wanted to be like you. As strong as you, as smart as you, as good as you," she trailed off
again.
"Oh Desi," Iughed mixed with a cry.
She''s so silly.
"You''re already so much better than I''ll ever be. Look what you did today at fifteen," I told her. "You
saved lives at the expense of your own. That''s the most selfless thing you could have done. You''re so
much stronger than me, even at such a young age."
"You were even younger when you first went into the field," she jumped to my own defense.
I chuckled at the truthfulness of the statement, but also the cost. "And now I''m broken Desi. I''m
untrusting, and violent, and sad, and not the same girl I used to be. . . Kids shouldn''t have to fight to be
kids, Des. I wanted to shield you from that. To help you turn out better than me." I choked out augh
again as the tears multiplied. "Turns out you did it all on your own. You managed to stay innocent and
good and still be a hero. . . You''re amazing."
She was crying a river now and coughing up a storm.
Her lips being crested with the blood filling her mouth.
I gripped her hand infinitely tighter. I can''t hold her tight enough.
"Thank you. . ." She whispered so meekly I barely caught it.
I let out yet another sob and nodded along to her words.
"I. . ." I can tell she''s leaving. "I always saw you. . . as a big sister too. . ."
I let out a gross sound of sorrow at the way I could feel the life leaving her body.
"Love. . ." She trailed off, unable to talk anymore.
Her grip loosened on my hand.
"I love you too, Desi."
Her body went limp, and I could tell I wasn''t kneeling next to the living anymore.
"You were too good for this world"