Chapter 0144


    There’s a long, heavy silence. After what feels like an eternity, Karl finally meets my eyes, and there’s a


    raw, aching vulnerability there that makes my heart drop into my stomach. “You’re right,” he says


    quietly, his voice filled with regret. “I didn’t know at first. I just knew that he wasn’t that invested in you,


    and figured that he’d take the bait.”


    My heart shatters. All at once, I want to scream, cry, and pass out. I can’t decide which; maybe all


    three. “I can’t believe this, Karl. How could you do something like that? Something so… cunning?”


    He looks as if he wants to say something, to justify himself, but he doesn’t. Instead, he stands there,


    staring at me with a sort of defeated look in his eyes, as if realizing that there are some things that even


    words can’t fix.


    “Abby, I—”


    “Don’t,” I cut him off, my voice breaking. “Just don’t even bother, Karl. I’ve heard enough. And to think


    that all this time, I really thought you were changing, bing a better man like you said you would.”


    “But Abby, I am,” he pleads, trying to take a step toward me. “Trust me, Abby. I’ve been trying so hard


    to be better for you. To be the man that you deserve.”


    I can’t help but let out a wry chuckle. “Bullshit,” I snarl.


    I pull away from him, putting as much distance between us as the room will allow. “I’m booking a train


    home first thing in the morning. You can stay here, and you don’t have to worry abouting back to


    the restaurant with me. We’re done, Karl.”


    His face crumples, but he doesn’t argue. He knows he’s lost this battle, this war, and so do I. Maybe


    both of us have lost in our own ways. For a moment, we lock eyes, and I see a flicker of hope in his


    face—but I can’t bring myself to look at him for any longer. Just looking at him makes me sick.


    Without another word, Karl crosses to the door to leave. But he pauses there, his hand on the


    doorknob, and speaks without looking over his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Abby,” he finally murmurs, his


    voice choked with emotion. “I never wanted to hurt you.”


    “It’s toote for that, Karl. You already have.”


    …


    It’s past midnight, and I’m still at my desk, hunched over myptop as I try to find the earliest train


    home.


    Adam is gay; I can ept that. What I can’t reconcile with is the gnawing question that keeps echoing


    in my mind: Would Adam have taken Karl’s bribe regardless of his orientation? Did Karl’s rare


    ingredients just expedite the inevitable? Or did they manipte the course of my life, making a puppet


    of my emotions and a fool out of me?


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    I feel a crushing weight on my chest, making it hard to breathe. I’m so alone. My hand moves


    involuntarily to my phone, my thumb hovering over Chloe’s name on the contact list. I could call her. I


    could spill everything, tell her she was right, drown my sorrows in theforting echo of a friend’s


    shared outrage.


    But I hesitate.


    I can''t do it. How do I tell Chloe—or anyone—that Karl fooled me once again? That I believed he had


    changed, that I trusted him when I shouldn’t have? My pride bristles at the thought, and the screen


    blurs as I blink back tears.


    No. I won’t tell Chloe. I won’t tell anyone. Instead, I lock my phone and ce it face down on the desk.


    I’ll go back home, focus on my work, my friends, my family—anything but him. I’ll start over for the


    second time, build something new on the ashes of yet another heartbreak.