Chapter 51
Lukas
He could hear her heart speed up and all he wanted to do was shout from the rooftops that she had
asked him to stay. He nuzzled into her neck as he tried to calm his excitement down. He didn’t
want to scare her. Finally, he nodded.
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
She rxed fully against him. He wondered why she had been so nervous to ask. He had never not
stayed with her when she had asked.
“Lukas, if I asked you for something, even if it hurt your feelings, would you do it?
“Maybe. What do you want?”
“I want to heal. I want to get better, before I’m your..” She waved her hand. “You know.”
He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Before you be our queen?”
She nodded. “It’s not fair to the kingdom to have a broken queen.”
“You are not broken, Lils. You are hurt. Never broken. You are a survivor.”
She sighed. “I’m broken, Lukas. No matter what way you try to say it, it’s all the same. I am broken
and I havee a long way to putting the pieces back together, but it’s been hard. I have tried to
hurt myself. To end the pain. I have tried to get rid of our- the baby. You don’t need a queen like that
by your side. You deserve better
He remained quiet. He didn’t want to let on how happy he had been for that millisecond after she
had said that the baby was theirs. He wanted nothing more than to be a family with her and their
child. He took a deep breath.
“Lily, listen to me. I will help you through this. I want to help you through this,”
She shook her head. “This isn’t something you can help me through. It’s something I have to do for
myself.” She turned in his arms until she was on her knees between his legs. She gripped his face.
“I know you feel the need to protect me, but some things you can’t save me from. My own mind is
one of them. You have to let me mend myself, so that I can be what you need.”
He sighed. “You already are what I need, baby.”
She groaned. “I’m not perfect, Luaks.”
“You are to me,” he replied stubbornly, refusing to let her continue to talk down about her abilities to
be his queen and his mate.
She leaned forward and pressed a fleeting kiss to his lips. “Then let me mend myself, so I can be
what I need.”
He stared at her. He was seriously doubting that leaving her around his sisters was a good thing.
She was already sounding so much like them, especially Lani since she started all her mental
healing crap.
“Lily”
Fuck. Why did she have to look at him with those sad doe eyes?
id doe eyes? They were
were his downfall every single fucking time. He sighed.
“Fine. Anything else?”
“After tonight, I want you to leave me alone for a while, so I can focus on me. I need to know that
you can do that. I need to know that I have freedom.” She took a deep breath. “I need to know that
you weren’t lying to me about letting me choose.”
His chest tightened with each of her words. Was she nning on rejecting him? He looked away
from her as Gideon tried to take over to try to convince her that what she was asking for was
unnecessary, that he would never force her to be with him. Lukas looked back at her and he knew
that he had been lying to himself for years, since the day he met her. If she tried to reject him, he
knew he would take her away. He didn’t want to say he would hold her hostage
“But we would,” Gideon growled. “But this is still unnecessary. We love her.”
He shook his head to clear it. “Ok, Lily,” He kissed her hand again. “After tonight, I will leave you
alone and wait for you toe to us.” He paused. “On one condition. If you need anything or if you
miss me, you tell me.”
led into his chest. “I miss you everyday, Lukas. Even when I was mad at you, I missed you.”
She sighed and nuzzled
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A tear rolled down his cheek and hit her neck. She looked up at him, before reaching up to touch his
face.
“You’re crying? Why?”
“Because I don’t want to do this, Lils. I always want you by my side.”
She pressed her forehead against his and looked into his eyes. “I know and I want that, too. It’s all
I’ve wanted since I met you, but right now, I need you to respect my wishes. I think about letting you
touch me and I’m afraid. I don’t want to be afraid of you.”
He wrapped his arm around her waist a
and pressed a tender kiss to her lips. “I don’t want you to be afraid either.”
She brought her hand up again to his cheek. “I love you, Lukas. That’s why I need to do this, so we
can be happy and free. Like in the Golden n.”
He closed his eyes as a million different emotions threatened to spill out. He swallowed.
“Lukas, say something. Please, she whimpered.
He opened his eyes. “If I said what was truly on my mind, it would scare you.”
She let her hand drop and she pulled back a little. “What is it?”
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I was thinking about how bad I wanted toy you
down and make love to you. I was thinking about how much I wanted to erase every single bad
thought and fear out of your mind. I was thinking about taking you away and hiding you in my closet
and never letting you go.”
Her heart thudded wildly in her chest. “Are you going to?”
“No, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to
She kissed him. “I need to eat. Dad was going to take me for steaks, but I wanted toe home
and see you.”
He couldn’t help the smile that ended up on his face. “You wanted to set me?”
She nodded. “Dad didn’t fish for me. You would have.”
Heughed and got up, pulling her
up beside him. “Let’s go eat.”
She linked her arms around his waist. “Thank you, Lukas. I really do feel better.”
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Chapter Comments
this is where she’s wrong, thinking she can do it alone, her mind is the devil in disguise
chika brooke
They needed this talk it would help her to heal knowing that no matter what Lucas loves and wants
her the way she is irrespective of all that she’s been through. I believe she feels so much better now
and will heal properly afterwards…… my not yet mate
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