187- idents and avoidance


    I wake up feeling groggy and I just know that I’ve slept inte. If I did dream, I don’t remember any of it


    which honestly is kind of a relief because I needed rest so badly. Bemy isn’t in bed beside me, so I


    assume he got up at a more normal time. He must be exhausted, because I’m still tired and I obviously


    slept in longer than he did. It’s strange that I didn’t have visions of Kiara, then again those visions seem


    to make me tired and use energy, particrly when I interact with her. So maybe I just didn’t have


    enough energy to manage it. I spend at least fifteen minutes lying in bed trying to force my brain to


    wake up. Okay, that’s enough. Apparently I’m not going to feel better or more awake than I do now. A


    shower might help. I climb out of bed, tripping over the nkets as I go, and head straight into the


    ensuite. I don’t think at all, just strip off my clothes and step into the shower. I turn the hot water on first


    and absolutely freeze as I wait for it to heat up. Finally it reaches afortable temperature and I’m


    able to rx under the stream of water for a while. It feels great on my back which is apparently really


    sore. I probably slept twisted or something. Or maybe it was all the tension from yesterday. I suppose


    the cause doesn’t really matter. But I should definitely take a painkiller or something. I have a headache


    too. Actually I feel almost hungover which is annoying since I didn’t even drink. All the downsides with


    none of the fun. Alright that’s it. When this is over, I’m getting all my friends together and we are going


    to get raging drunk. I want to actually earn my hangover for once. Then again,st time I totally


    humiliated myself with Bemy, although being drunk might be the only way I’m ever brave enough to


    actually make any progress with him physically. Ugh. I should really work on that. I might manage it


    better if I didn’t have to stress so much about Kiara and these psychos. I take it back, rather than get


    drunk, when this is all sorted out I’m going to spend some time actively working on my rtionship with


    Bemy and learning not to feel so damn awkward all the time! It’s crazy how I can simultaneously feel


    sofortable around him and so nervous.


    I hear the bedroom door open.That’s strange, I shouldn’t be able to hear that so easily, especially not


    while in the shower. I automatically turn towards the door and… oh shoot! I didn’t close the bathroom


    door behind me. I really was out of it. I should go close the door right away. Actually, Bemy’s


    footsteps sound close… Maybe I should stay where I am and hope the


    eam hides me? Or can I reach a towel? I know I was thinking I should be less shy with Bemy but this


    is NOT what I meant. Maybe I should just call out to Bemy and tell him to close his eyes and give me


    a second, yeah that’s a good n. I open my mouth but I’m toote. I can see Bemy’s figure through


    the condensation in the shower and I freeze in ce. I can hear him draw in a sharp breath, then the


    ensuite door is being pulled closed and I’m alone again. My heart is beating a mile a minute and I have


    a weird urge to stand in front of the mirror to figure out if I look hot or if I look like a drowned rat.


    Probably thetter. Ugh this is so ridiculous. I spend more time in the bathroom than I probably would


    have and when I finally emerge, Bemy is sitting on the end of the bed, his hands behind him, leaning


    back staring up at the ceiling, He looks flushed. Yeah okay, that steam definitely wasn’t hiding anything.


    So much for that.


    “I didn’t realise the door was open.” 1 force out. Bemy lets out a deep breath.


    I figured.” He answers.


    “Th- thankyou for closing it for me.” I push on. Bemy nods and doesn’t look at me. Okay… I don’t


    know how else to


    respond to that.


    N?velDrama.Org holds ? this.


    “Uh… I guess I’m going to go grab something to eat?” I tell him, although it weirdlyes out as a


    question. Bemys nods and gets to his feet, I assume to/join me. Just as I reach the bedroom door he


    grabs my hand and pulls me back. He is flushing bright red.


    “Ry? I just wanted to say… you’re beautiful.” Okay, now I’m just as bright red as he is. Although I feel a


    bit pleased too.


    I kind of needed to hear that.


    “Th–thanks.”


    1/2


    187- idents and avoidance


    I wait until I’ve eaten, taken some painkillers and downed some caffeine before I even bother trying to


    figure out my own thoughts. I’m still kind of concerned about my new thread. I can’t see it anymore, I


    assume that Cheryl is too far away for me to see it anymore. I tell Bemy about how it suddenly


    appeared, and how exhausted I’ve been since then. He listens intently without interruption.


    “Is it possible that the threat was therest time you met and you just missed it? I mean it wasn’t a long


    conversation and there was a lot going on.” He suggests. I raise an eyebrow sceptically.


    “Alright, I get it. It wasn’t there before. I was just checking.” He thinks for a minute.


    “Maybe… It’s because of the murders. I mean we already determined that they weren’t fated. So


    maybe these additional deaths changed your fate too.” Bemy pauses and his expression freezes in


    ce.


    “Have… have you seen any other threads change?” He keeps his voice even but it sounds…off? I


    shake my head no.


    “No, definitely not. That’s why this is so weird.” I tell him. His shoulders droop and I can see him


    rxing.


    “That’s okay then, as long as none of your other threads change. The one with Megan… Or me.” Oh, I


    get it. He was worried about our thread. He thought it might change too. I seriously doubt that would


    happen.


    “Bemy, it’s one thing to hate someone, it would be totally different for my fated soul mate to somehow


    change. I don’t think that could ever happen.” I reassure him. He hugs me tight and I can tell how


    relieved he is. He must have been more worried than I thought. I think he probably is right about the


    murders being what changed my threads. though.


    “Oh, I had some questions now that I’m actually awake properly. I was wondering why your Alpha,


    bossiness thing couldn’t make Cheryl tell us about Kiara, you were able to make her stay put. What


    changed?” I ask. Bemy sighs.


    “She was closing her eyes and ignoring me. It sounds silly but it works. Eye contact isn’t strictly


    necessary, but it does help. Essentially what was happening is that Cheryl wasn’t listening to me. She


    was ignoring me well enough that she was kind of… zoning out? She did it well enough that she wasn’t


    really aware of themands I was giving so that she was able to avoid them. Sure, something like


    telling her to stop or stay might work. It would be hard to tune someone out enough that you don’t


    process a basicmand like stop. Moreplicated questions are easier to ignore and harder for me


    to force. Although it definitely takes a lot of focus to avoid them. Some Shifters practise that kind of


    thing, particrly if they spend a lot of time around dominant Shifters with opinions they disagree with. I


    guess Cheryl is one of them.”


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