151- Push and pull


    “This is definitely not working out how I nned. You weren’t supposed to be worried about it. Just the


    opposite. I was trying to make you morefortable by backing off a bit.” Bemy


    exins. I frown.


    “I never told you to do that.” Iment quietly. He shrugs.


    “You don’t have to tell me. If I think you want something I’m going to do my best to give it to you, even if


    in this case it means giving you… less.” He tries to exin.


    “But… I don’t want you to… I mean. I never meant for you to… UGH I don’t know how to say this!” I


    comin. Bemy lifts his eyes to meet mine.


    “You don’t want me to back off? But you always seemed… ufortable.” He points out.


    “I know that! But it doesn’t mean you needed to stop. I WAS ufortable, some of the time. at least.


    But I’m awkward and anxious and terrible at dealing with new things. I was always going to be


    ufortable! We discussed this the day after Megan’s wedding. I can’t tell you what is okay. But I will


    always tell you if something isn’t okay. How am I meant to tell you how I feel about the things you do if


    you never do anything?!” I ask,pletely frustrated.


    Bemy’s jaw drops open. He looks puzzled.


    “So… you want me to… pressure you more?” He asks. Wrinkling up his nose in distaste.


    “No, that’s not what I mean. Or maybe it is a little? But it’s not pressuring. It’s… opportunities. I might


    not know what I’m ready for, but.. I do enjoy being wanted. I like knowing that I could take you up on


    your offers at any time if I chose to. That all I would have to do is just ept. At this point in time


    there’s no way I would be confident enough to approach you myself. I need you to make the first move


    so that I can decide how far I want things to go. Does that make sense? I know it isn’t totally fair to you,


    but…” I trail off.


    “I just… didn’t want to make you scared of me. Didn’t want to push you too far.” Bemy says quietly.


    “I need a push or I’ll never change. We both know that. It’s why you’re good for me. And I


    1/4


    151- Push and pull


    would never be scared of you. I trust you and I know you would never push me if I tried to


    stop you.” I promise. Bemy’s face slowly transforms from one of difort to a pleased smirk. He


    grabs me and lifts me so that I’m sitting and straddling hisp. He brushes a loose piece of my hair


    behind my ear and when he answers, it’s with his lips against my ear.


    “I think you’re braver than you think. Just remember that you cane to me, any time and any ce


    and I will never turn you down. I always want you Ry. And in the meantime…” He presses a k*ss to my


    neck that makes me shiver.


    “I’ll give you lots of opportunities to be brave.” He promises.


    Bemy pulls back to look in my eyes. Whatever he sees there must satisfy him because before I can


    even process what is happening, he pulls me tight against his chest and presses his lips into mine.


    Bemy k*sses me at a leisurely pace, like he has all the time in the world and nowhere else to be. I


    can tell that I have his full attention, which when you consider how


    many things he has to think about and how many people he has to worry about, is rather thrilling. His


    hand is stroking my back, keeping me close and is somehow exciting me and reassuring me at the


    same time. His other handnds on my knee and after a few minutes I


    start to realise that it is steadily moving up my leg, stroking little shapes on the outside of


    my bare thigh. I’m suddenly very aware of the skirt that Megan picked out for me earlier and


    how far it’s riding up my legs with me sitting in this position. His fingers brush against the hem of my


    skirt and pause, ying with the fabric and running his fingers just along the edge, teasing the skin just


    barely. I’m nervous for a moment before I realise he isn’t nning on advancing it any further.


    Bemy’s lips leave mine as he k*sses his way down my neck and


    murmurs.


    “This okay?” Which is about when I notice that the hand on my back at some point made it underneath


    my top and is gently massaging between my upper and lower back, his fingers pressing into my waist.


    How did that happen without me noticing? I ampletely overwhelmed. Not in a bad way necessarily,


    but this is starting to reach the point where I don’t quite know how I’m supposed to respond. Okay,


    that’s a lie, I do know how to respond, I just don’t know if I’m ready to respond that way. All I know right


    now is that Bemy’s hands feel amazing and that talking things out was definitely a good idea.


    “Ryann, sweetheart?” Bemy pauses and pulls back a little. What was he asking?


    “Hmm” I answer, oh so eloquently. He smiles, apparently pleased with howpletely dazed I am, or


    maybe how rxed? Bemy hugs me close and buries his face in my hair. He stands


    2/4


    151- Push and pull


    up, still holding me at my back and thigh. Gravity tilts my hips closer to his and I can feel just how


    aroused he actually is. Now that gives me pause.I tense up a little but instead of pulling away, I wrap


    my arms around his neck to secure myself and hug him tight, bed.hiding my face against his shoulder,


    feeling shy. Bemy chuckles before turning and lowering me onto the bed, my head against the


    pillows. He pulls back and gives me another deep k*ss before releasing me entirely. I stare up at him.


    “I… I didn’t say you had to stop.” Iment awkwardly. Bemy just gives a half shrug.


    “I know that, but I know you’re notpletely ready yet and the way I’m feeling right now… half of me,


    the lower half mostly, is telling me to escte things while the rest of me knows I should slow down. I


    needed a little space to be sure I make the right choice. It’s… very hard to think when I’m holding you.”


    he admits and that makes me smile. I’m d I’m not the only one who loses my mind when he’s


    touching me. Bemy takes several deep breaths and closes his eyes for a second. When he looks


    back at me, he groans and I can see his eyes are that molten gold colour that they seem to go


    whenever he’s particrly… eager.


    “Right, well my brain isn’ting back online anytime soon so i’m leaving this decision up


    to you. Do you want more or should I go take a cold shower?”


    I hesitate and Bemy begins to turn away and head towards the ensuite. He has just reached the


    doorway when I manage to find my tongue.


    N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content.


    “Bemy… wait.” He whirls to face me in one quick movement. If I tried to turn that fast I


    would definitely fall over. I blush tomato red as he just stands there and looks at me.


    “Yes Ryann?” he asks, patiently waiting for me to tell him what I want. My mouth won’t seem to move.


    Bemy takes a step back towards me.


    “What is it that you want?” he asks, taking another step towards me. I squirm in ce. How am I


    supposed to speak when he looks at me like that? Bemy takes another step towards me, and


    another. He practically prowls towards me, his catlike motions very obvious at this


    moment. He perches himself on the bed next to me.


    “Did you want something from me sweetheart?” He practically purrs the words. I can’t do


    than nod my head.


    mo


    3/4


    151- Push and pull


    “Say it.” Bemy demands and I don’t know if I want to k*ss him or punch him in the gut. He knows


    exactly what he’s doing and I think he’s enjoying torturing me a little too much. He leans in even closer,


    I can feel his breath on my skin and can stare into his molten


    gold eyes.


    “Tell me Ryann.” He says again. I heave in a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I had every intention


    of giving him a proper answer, but when I breathe out I barely manage to do more


    than squeak a single word.


    “More.”