49- Decisions and determination


    I’m not really watching, and I know that he is only watching to give me time to think. Time to sort


    through the rush of emotions I’m feeling. Can I really tell Megan the truth about her ties? Should I?


    From the very beginning that was my n. I wrote her that note. It wasn’t until I met her and became


    her friend that I began to worry she would resent my interference. or choose Tristan over me. But didn’t


    I promise myself I was going to be the best friend she ever had? Would a good friend really let her go


    through with this marriage? As for Bemy.. well, he does deserve the truth from me. The problem is I


    really don’t know how to give it. What truth is it that he needs to hear? If I start at the wrong ce he


    will probably run and avoid me, or it will turn into a fight. I can feel my heart rate increase at the thought


    of having to face Bemy properly. I don’t know if I’m ready yet. I take a deep breath to calm myself. I


    don’t need to do anything right this second, I can take some time to think. But Harry is right. I should try


    and be more honest. I’ve spent so long hiding, never sharing, never trusting. It doesn’te naturally


    to me, but I need to change. If Megan and Bemy are my prize at the immediately, but that doesn’t


    mean I shouldn’t try. A feeling of determinationes over me. I need to do this. I’ll talk to Megan


    tomorrow, before it’s toote.


    end then I think I can do it. I probably won’t get it Sht


    My decision made, tension drains from me and the exhaustion that has been building inside me for


    months now hits me like a sledgehammer. Harrison notices the change in me.


    “So you’ve made up your mind then?” I nod and he gives me a satisfied smile.


    “Then my work here is done, you look half–dead. I should leave so you can get some sleep.


    But call me if you need anything okay? And let me know how everything goes. I’m going to worry about


    you until I know you’ve sorted things out.” I nod tiredly and follow as Harrison. crawls out of the fort. I


    walk him the few steps it takes to reach the front door and open it to


    let him out. Aaron immediately turns and looks us both over suspiciously. Harrison notices the look and


    a devious glint shes in his eyes. He pulls me into a hug which I return. He releases me and heads for


    the stairs, calling out as he leaves.


    “Thank you so much for yourpany this evening Ryann darling. It’s been wonderful. We’ll have to


    do this again sometime.” Okay so thatment was clearly for Aaron’s benefit rather than mine. I roll


    my Aaron’s eyes look like they’re going to fall out his skull they’re so


    wide. He pulls out his phone again. I shake my head.


    eves.


    1/4


    “If you have to be all creepy and report my actions, at least make sure you get the details right. My


    childhood friend came over, watched some cartoons, chatted for a while and went


    home.” My piece said, I head back inside and crawl into my nket fort. Since all my bedding is


    basically here already, I think I’ll just sleep here tonight. I can hear Aaron enter the house and lock the


    door. He settles down on the floor outside my fort. I set my rm and snuggle into my pillows. Sleep


    comes to me easier than it has in months. I’m still restless and wake several times throughout the


    night, but I manage to get back to sleep each time.


    When my rm goes off at 6am I jump up. I woke up about thirty minutes ago and didn’t really go


    back to sleep. I’m still exhausted, but my nervousness is cutting through the tiredness, keeping me


    awake. I crawl out of my fort. My back and neck are a little sore from sleeping on the ground. Sure, I


    had pillows but a few of them seem to have shifted as I slept which resulted in me being half on the


    floor. Oh well, that’s the price I pay for sleeping in a fort I suppose. Aaron is stirring from where he is


    sitting up against the wall. How odd, usually he is up and moving long before me. I dash to my room


    and make a beeline for the shower. I get myself cleaned up and throw on a pair of leggings and a tank


    top. Megan arranged for some professional to do hair and makeup for both of us today, so I’m not too


    worried about how I look. I just need to be clean. I still feel very nervous and kinda sick to my stomach


    because of it, but a trickle of excitement is sneaking through. Today I am going to talk to Megan.


    Something will change. I don’t know if it will go well or if it will be terrible, but at least it will be different


    than the loop of work and sleepless nights I’ve locked myself into. My gut wrenches when I realise I am


    going to have to see Bemy today, he’s going to be at Megan’s wedding after all. I haven’t seen him


    since I watched him walk out of Megan’s room that night. I was going to make myself some breakfast


    but the idea of food suddenly makes me feel dreadful. I think I’ll skip eating this morning, maybe I’ll


    snack once I reach Megan’s house. Again, I could run into Bemy there. I haven’t been there since


    that night either. I decide that if I dy another twenty minutes so I arrive at seven I am just going to


    spend that twenty minutes making myself miserable. I may as well head off early. I doubt Megan is


    sleeping. I head out to the living area with my bag and phone and Aaron gets the idea. He grabs his


    keys and we head out. At the bottom of the stairs I notice a light is on in Maggie’s kitchen. It’s so like


    her to be awake before the sun is, although it’s getting bright out now, I’m sure she’s been up for a


    while. I change directions and head towards her front door. Aaron gives me yet another of his silent


    nods that somehow rece entire conversations. I knock and the door swings open after only a few


    seconds. Maggie looks surprised.


    “You’re up early I-” I cut her off by throwing myself at her in a hug.


    “I’m really sorry for how I’ve been acting.” I whisper. I know she is technically just my


    2/4


    “Are you okay now?” she asks. I shake my head against her.


    “No, but I’m not going to sit around and wait for things to fix themselves anymore.” Maggie pulls back


    and assesses my face. She seems happy enough with what she sees there and nods.


    “Good.” Reluctantly I step away.


    “I have to go, but… maybe I could stop by for tea this week?” I ask tentatively. Maggie gives me a grin.


    “Anytime sweetie.” I nod and turn back to Aaron who looks ufortable. I don’t think he likes


    emotional talks and discussions. See, I really almost did him a favour by not letting him listen to Harry


    and I talkingst night. I really doubt he sees it that way. I’m really not sure what he thinks of me. I


    know Shaun is my friend, he talks to me, or at least has been attempting to while I’ve been all


    miserable. But Aaron is so reserved. I always feel like he knows more about what’s going on than


    almost everyone else. I suppose that happens when you listen without interrupting. In the car I pull out


    my phone. I n to text Megan that. we’re on our way and maybe message Harry for some moral


    support. I nearly jump out of my seat when Aaron’s deep, quiet voice sounds from beside me.


    “Finally done sulking?” He asks. I turn and raise an eyebrow. He is watching me from the corner of his


    eye. I’m a little confused. Is my behaviour this morning really that different?


    “Are you going to talk to Alpha Kane?” He rifies. My heart rate increases at his question. I am still


    absolutely terrified at the thought. I force myself to respond.


    “I… I’ll start by talking to Megan. Properly talking to Megan. I need to talk to Bemy too, I know, but…”


    I trail off. Aaron nods.


    “His pride might not let him admit it, but he wants to talk to you.” I give Aaron a small smile. Megan,


    Darrien and even Shaun have been telling me that same thing for months. But for the first time I think I


    might actually believe it. Aaron wouldn’t tell me anything just to make me


    3/4


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    49–Decisions and determination


    feel better. He hasn’t before this, and I doubt he ever will. It bothered me up until now, but


    suddenly I appreciate it. He isn’t trying tofort me, he is just telling me what he genuinely.


    thinks.