43- Monotones and makeup


    1- I cut off my own thought. This is not helpful right now. I take a deep breath and calm myself. I might


    even be almost rxed when Bemy finally finds me. Okay, that’s not true. I’mpletely freaking


    out. But I manage to hide it. Bemyes and sits on the seat beside me. He ces my shoes on


    the ground by my feet and I slip them on. The silence is deafening until Bemy finally manages to


    speak. His voice is quiet and almostpletely. void of expression, as is his face.


    “Are you mad at me again?” He asks. I shake my head. I don’t know what I expected him to say but it


    wasn’t that.


    No


    He watches my face attentively.


    “But?” He waits for my reply. I stand up and move to look at a small water feature built into the wall. I


    keep my back to him.


    “But I can’t do this right now.” I tell him. I keep my voice calm, but it’s forced. I hear Bemy stand and


    take a few steps until he’s next to me. I don’t turn to look at him.


    “What do you want?” His voice is a dull monotone.


    “I think I need to be alone for a bit.” Bemy sighs.


    “I understand.” His voice cracks a little bit towards the end of his response. His empty tone breaks to


    reveal… disappointment maybe? It’s hard to be sure because I’ve never heard him


    sound this way before. I keep staring at the water flowing in front of me, even once he turns. and heads


    back inside. I feel absolutely dreadful. It’s not fair to Bemy how I’m acting. But I am just not ready for


    this. You would think that knowing someone is your perfect match would make everything easier. But


    instead I’m too scared to even try because I know everything in my life will change. That’s the thing


    with rtionships. Ultimately they end or they don’t and knowing that it won’t just end makes it daunting


    because somehow that person has to fit into your world and will bring their entire world with them. It’s a


    lot to deal with and it shouldn’t be rushed or both worlds will end up in shambles. I stand there in a


    daze and it’s not until a ‘sh of light nearby catches my eye that I move. I realise that there is a red


    thread floating past my head. I can’t see who it ising from and it’s probably a bad idea to wander


    around in the dark searching for a lurker, so I follow the thread inside. It


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    heads straight to Tristan. So it’s that woman from before. I should tell Bemy but I really don’t want to


    right now. I cautiously head back inside and fetch my clutch from where I left it at the table. I search the


    room until I find Darrien. He stands up from where he’s sitting as I approach.


    “Ryann? What’s wrong?” His expression is concerned. I wonder how I look right now, how freaked out I


    must seem to have him this worried. I shake my head.


    “I can’t right now. Will you drive me home please?” I am practically begging him. He hesitates and I


    know he’s thinking about how Bemy will react.


    “I can’t deal with him right now. Please. I’ll text him that I’m going home and that with me. He can send


    whatever guards he wants. Just please, PLEASE take me home.” I plead. Darrien assesses me with a


    critical eye before nodding.


    you’re


    “Send the message.” He watches as I message Bemy.


    Ryann- I need to be at home right now. Darrien is taking me. Tell Megan I’m sorry.


    I send the message, then remember than Tristan’s soul mate is lurking about somewhere. I send a


    follow up message.


    Ryann- Forgot to mention. Tristan’s real soul mate was lurking in the garden somewhere.


    Messages sent, Darrien offers me his arm and leads me out to the car. We’re halfway home when he


    responds.


    Bemy- I understand. Aaron will meet you there and keep watch tonight. I will look into the


    woman.


    I’m relieved that he didn’t kick up a fuss. I let Darrien know that Aaron will be meeting us. Aaron didn’t


    go to the party and was closer to my house than we were. He beats us there and he and Darrien


    exchange serious, manly nods as Darrien leaves to return to the party. I invite Aaron in and he makes


    himselffortable at my kitchen table. He doesn’t speak, just nods. his eptance. I then flee to my


    room, change into myfy unicorn pyjamas, and copse into bed. I don’t bother to wash the glitter


    out my hair or take off my makeup. I just can’t bring myself to care right now. I’m d Aaron is the one


    Bemy sent to watch me. He’s so


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    quiet, he’s probably the only person who wouldn’t ask why I’m upset or tell anyone else about this.


    Bemy probably nned it that way. I wonder if anyone saw us tonight, I really hope not. I suppose I


    should be d that Bemy didn’t do anything crazy when we e were in the middle of the dance floor.


    At the time, it felt like everyone was watching us, when I ran inside to find Darrien I barely looked up


    from the floor, worried to see what people thought. But thinking back, I’m not sure anyone noticed at all.


    Bemy waited until everyone was distracted I guess. But does that mean he actually nned the…


    what he did? Or maybe it was a coincidence, or he decided to take advantage of the sort–of privacy.


    This is all just too much. Once again, I’m awake most of the night. It’s not until the early hours of the


    morning that I finally manage to fall into a restless sleep.


    A firm but polite knock at my bedroom door is what wakes me. I’m exhausted, my eyes hurt because I


    didn’t wash off my makeup, and I’m sure I have some serious roon eyes. With a groan I drag myself


    out of bed and open the door. Aaron hands me my phone which is vibrating. I must have left it out there


    before I went to bedst night. He nods and walks off. Still silent, is he mute? I’m starting to think he’s


    mute. A nce at the screen shows that Megan is calling.


    1


    “Hello?”


    “Ryann! Are you alright? You left without saying anythingst night. Bemy told me you said you were


    sorry but he wouldn’t say why you left.” Megan sounds concerned and I feel instantly guilty.


    “I’m sorry Megan. Bemy probably didn’t know what to tell you. He’s the reason I left after all.” I admit.


    Megan practically growls into the phone.


    “What did he do now? Do I need to yell at him for something?” I smile at her offer.


    “No, no. Definitely not. He didn’t really do anything, it’s more my issue than anything else. I’m not really


    used to spending a lot of time with people. I’ll figure it all out.” Okay, so that was the most vague


    exnation ever. Thankfully, Megan doesn’t call me out on it. She’s still


    too busy stressing out.


    “I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone so muchst night. I’m so sorry, this is all my fault. I should have


    paid more attention to you. I know you tend to fight with my brother and it’s not like you really knew


    many people. Are you mad at me?” I’m having shbacks to Bemy


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    asking the same thingst night. At times like this I can tell that they’re siblings. I sigh.


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    “Don’t be crazy. It was your party, and I wasn’t your only guest. You spent the whole day with


    me, I can share you for an evening. There is no reason whatsoever for me to be mad at you, I


    promise.”