SEBASTIAN.


    All i see is the look in her eyes as she raised the gun and shot me.


    I’ve lost her.


    She will never forgive me, and why should she?


    I brought this on myself….


    The same thoughts circle my mind, mming me with the brutal truth of what I have done. Spinning,


    screaming, and shouting as they whirl around my head; and


    there’s nothing I can do but ept it.


    I was close to death after she shot me, but Gerard refused to let me die, although


    both Gaultier and Zade didn’t mind if I did.


    All I remember was Gerard saying he would not let me die and if anything


    happened, they would all suffer the consequences.


    I now stare out at the moon through the skylight. Night has fallen, but it’s just another painful day gone.


    Another day that I am haunted by the memories of the Alpha Queen shooting me without any


    hesitation.


    I deserved that.


    There was a moment she was shocked… but it was just a secondary reaction. She didn’t turn back as


    she left the room, but I shouldn’t be expecting anything, anyway.


    When the one who pushed her to this was none other than me.


    How many times have I betrayed her trust? Far too many times.


    I know that… but then why do I sit here thinking of her day and night? With every day that passed I


    realised that, that I don’t think I could live without her. Which


    doesn’t matter anyway, this isn’t about me….


    The guilt of every fucking stupid decision I’ve made, the regret of every fucking time. I’ve caused her


    pain, ws at me. Ripping me apart with guilt and regret from the


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    inside.


    She deserves so much fucking better. Yet I know that she loved me, and I destroyed…


    her faith in me repeatedly. I can feel my wolf’s agony inside of me, his anguish at the fact I do not have


    her nearby.


    I don’t deserve her, not anymore… she was too good for me from the start… and


    although I thought I did good, all I did was fucking hurt her.


    I’ll never forget the way hervender eyes were full of pain.


    My head drops as I feel the stinging in my eyes as my vision blurs.


    Why did I always fuck up even when all I want is the best for those I love?


    “What is going on?!” Gaultier’s distant snarl makes me look towards the doors.


    Something must have happened…


    I stand up, silently making my way to the door and open it. They’re probably


    watching me in this room, anyway.


    I try to be careful, but I also know they will never fully trust me, regardless.


    Gaultier ms his fist into the wall as Zade growls at him.


    “Calm the fuck down. Welet…” he trails off when he sees me.


    “We can’t what?” I ask, walking over to them, and shoving my hands into the pockets


    of my pants.


    “You don’t need to fucking know. Aren’t you meant to be resting?” he says.


    sarcastically.


    “I’m healed,” I reply coldly, although due to the poison in the bullet, I am still not


    fully recovered, but I am getting there.


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    “Good, so fuck off.” Gaultier snarls.


    “Alright, I’ll just go ask Gerard what the fuck is going on,” I shoot back coldly, about


    to turn away when Zade grabs my forearm.


    “Hey… listen, this doesn’t involve you,” Zade warns.


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    “Or it does. Don’t you think it’s strangely fucking coincidental that now of all fucking times they figured


    out the cameras?” He spits, now looking at me usingly.


    I don’t react, cocking a brow. “Cameras? What are we talking about?”


    Sc, they understood the message. Excellent. This will help them get a step ahead instead of being


    spied on all the damn time.


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