Chapter9


    “MerikhPOV”


    “Sowhendoyountoannouncetothepackwe haveanewLuna…?”Hayesasks,proppinghisfeetuponmcouch.Iscothim,pacingoverandppingthemoffmyfurniture.


    “Whensheisready,”Isaysimply.


    “Andwhathaveyoudomakeherreadyforit?”Hayesasks.


    “Ihavebeenbusy,Hayes.Ifyouhaven’tnoticed,Ihavebeentryingtotracktheassholeswhotriedtokillme.”Igrotmybrother.He popsupfromthecouchandpacestothemassivebaywindowoverlookingthke.


    “Arewesosuretheywereafteryou?”Heaskssoftly,andIdon’tlookathim.Myjawclenching.


    “Yes,”


    “How?”


    “Howwhat?”Isnapathim.


    “Howareyousosure?”


    “Whoelsewouldtheybeafter?”Iaskwithanannoyedsigh.


    “I’mnotdense,brother.Iseethethingsevenyoutrytokeepfromme.”


    “No.Youareright,youaren’tdense,But thatdoesn’tmeanyouknowwhatyouaretalkingaboutwiththis.”


    “TheycrashedintoyourvehicleandleftYOU.”Hesaysinascoff,“theydraggedherandleftyou-”


    “Theywerebaitingme.”Igrothim.“Tryingtodrawmeoutandtauntme.It’swhattheyalwaysdo.”


    “Whatiftheyknow…”hewhispersandIpress mylipstogetherinworry.Itwould bealietosaythesamethoughthasn’tcrossedmymindonceortwice.


    “Thereisnowayforthemtoknow,Hayes.”Igivehimapointedlookandhesighs,defeated.“Onlyweknow,hellevenColetteisinthedarkonthis.Itisnotpossibleforanyoknow.”


    “Iknowit’snotlogicaltothinktheywouldknow,butitfeelswrong,Itfeelsoff,itfeelslikewhathappenedwithLauren-”


    “Don’tsayherfuckingname!”Ihissinanger,pacingoverandgrabbingHayesbythecorofhisshirt.Theverysoundofhernamemakesmyskincrandmychestburn.Itdoesn’tmatterthatIagreewithhimonthis.Thatitfeelsoff.Ican’tbringmyselftothinkaboutwhat happenedyearsago.


    “Okay,”hesays,handsupindefenseasIreleasehimwithaheavysigh.“Look,Ididn’tmeanitwashappeningagain,Ijust…weignoredthesignsbefore.”


    “Iknow,”Igrumble,sighingasIshuffleawayfromhimanddragmyhandsthroughmyhair.“Iknow,I’msorry,Ijust…”


    “It’sbeen years,Merikh,”heremindsme,butitdoesn’tremovetheacheofbetrayal.


    Noamountoftimecanmuddlethememoriesthatremainsodamnvivid inmymind.Hercries,thebegging,thelies.


    “WeneedtokeepColettesafe,”Isay,ignoringhim.“Theyareafterme,andherrealsignificancetomeremainsasecret.Itmustremain thatwayeventoher.Iremindhim,andhefrownswhenIlookhisway.


    “Thatmeansyouwillneedtoofficiallytakeherasafullmatebeforethemonthisup,Merikh.Yougetthatright?”HescoffsandInod, ncingoutthewindow.


    “Ihaveitallundercontrol.”


    “Yousaythat,butI’mnotsureyoudo.Thatgirlisafraidofyou.”Hescoffs,andmybrows pinchtogetherindistaste.


    “Sheisnotafraidofme.”Ihuffandhesnorts.


    “Yeah,okay.Thetiny,weakwerewolfisn’tafraidofthealphaofdeathshewasforcedtoepttosaveherpack.Ifyousayso,”hemutters.


    Okay, Hemayhaveapoint here.


    “I’mnicetoher.”Iremindhim,andhefindsthestatementevenmoreamusing.


    “Niceasinyoudosweetthingsforherorniceasinyouletherknowshehasbrolistuckinherteeth?”Hepopsabrow,waitingforan answer,andIscothim.


    “Igavehersilkpajamas.”


    “Andyouhaveignoredhersinceshetookcareofyourback.”HeremindsmeandIscoffathim.


    “I’venotignoredher.Iamgivingherspace.”


    “Keepitupandinaboutayear,shemightactuallyletyouholdherhand,”Hayessnortsashecrossesovertomeandpsmeonmy sorebackknowingly.


    “You’reanasshole,”Igruntandheshrugs,tryingtohideasmile.


    “It’slikelyit’sagictraitweshare,butatleastIknowhowtoflirtandwinoverthdies.Youhaveawomanfatedtobeyoursandthe bigbadalphalycanishidingfromher…”


    “I’mnothiding.”Isaywithconfidence.


    “No?ShouldIhaveheemeetyouhere,then?Foralittledate,maybe?”Ihavetoactivelyremindmyselfifheweren’trted,he wouldn’tspeaktomethewayhedoes.Butthenagain,Ihavealwaysneededsomeokeepmelevel–headed.Evenifhehasaveryroundaboutwayofdoingso.


    “Hayes,”Igrowl,andhegrins,proudofhimself.


    “Merikh…?”


    Colette’stimidvoiceechoesbehindmeandmyeyesslideclosedasIhidethewaymybodyreactsto her. MyLycannearlypants.Iclenchmyfists.


    “Yes?”Irespond,notbotheringtoturntofaceher.


    “Percysaidyouwantedtoseeme?”


    MyeyeszeasIreatHayes,wholooksaway,bitingbackasmile.Thisassholemindlinkedmysoontobegammas,andthetwo nnedthisbehindmyback.


    “TheAlphawashopingyouwouldjoinhim foramovieandmaybeasnack,”hesaysformeandIissuesilentdeaththreatswithmyeyes.“Inordertohelpyoubemorefortablearoundhim.Weknowhecanbeimposing,butIpromiseherarelybites.”


    “Oh.”shesays,soundingsurprised.“Amoviecouldbefun…I’veneverseenoneonascreenthisbigbefore.”


    HayesrushesoffasIreathim,mydesiretopummelmybrotherstrong.ThenIturnandlookatColette,wholookslikesheistryingto shrinkherselfdown.It’spainfullyobvioussheisusedtohiding,beingunseen.


    “Whattypeofmoviesdoyoulike?”Iaskherafterclearingmythroat.Mylycancraveshernearnessand,withkeepinghimaway fromherforafewdays,I’munabletofightthedrawtoher.Sheswallowsandlooksawaygrowcloser,thenshesuddenlyrollsher shouldersand straightensherback.


    ShefeelsalittledifferentfromwhenIspoketohest.Everydaysheseemsstronger,herwolfmorealert,morepresent,andIcansee herconfidencegrowing.Itexcitesmylycanandmetoseeherthisway,findingconfidenceinherself.


    “Romance?”Iaskwith asmileonmylipsasherfieryeyesnceuptomeetmine.“Perhapsadrama?”


    “Action.”Shesays,asmallsmirkhidingbehindherplushpinklipsandIhum,adeepvibrationinmychest, satisfied.


    “Really?Ipeggedyoumoreasaprincessmoviekindofgirl.”Iadmit,andshescoffs.


    “RomanceisnotsomethingIexpecttoeverexperience,actionhowever,well,I’vealreadylivedthroughoneofthosescenes.”Herlips pressintoanunimpressedline,andIrealizehowstupidIhavebeen.Ihavelefthersidewhenperhapsshemayneedsomeotalkto. Someotrustinherfear.


    “Doyouwishtoberomanced,Colette?”Iask,andshefrowns.Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org.


    “WhenIwasagirl,Idreamedofit.”Sheadmits,“ButIunderstandthatit’snotmeanttobe.”


    “YoudonotthinkIcanberomantic?”Iaskher,alittleoffended.“DoyouthinkI’mjustabrute?”


    “No!”shesays,shockedanduneasy.“Heavens,no!That’snotwhatImean…Imean…youaskedmetobeyourchosenbecauseyouneededtomakethetreatyvalid.Iunderstandyouprobablyhavesomeonealreadychosen fromwithinthispackwhowillbeyourtrueLuna.Giveyouheirsandlead.”


    Ibarkoutugh,myheadfallingbackwards.Shethinkssheisadecoymate?


    “Isthatwhatyouwerehopingfor?”Iask,staringintoherasshesucksherbottomlipbetweenherteeth,lookingnervous.“YouaremyoneandonlyLuna,Colette.Inchoosingyou,Ihaveselectedyoutocarrymyheirsandbemypartner.”


    “Butwhy?”Sheasksdeting.


    “Whynot?”Ishootback,reachingoutandcuppinghercheek.Shetriessohardnottoflinchawayfrommytouch,butIcatchthetwitchandit enrages mybeast.


    “IwasnotmadetobeaLuna,ortobecaredfor.Shewhispers.


    Myheartachestoholdher,butmypastpreventsmefromlettingherin.Iwantherbecausesheismine.Andwhatisminestayswithme. IwantherbecauseIneedher,evenifshedoesn’tknowitorwhy.WhatIwantistotrusthepletelyandholdontoher,butIknow damnwelltrustisnotsomethingIwilleverbeabletohavein anotherwoman.


    “Ichoseyou,soyouareaLuna.Andasfarascaringforyou,well,whatismineiswellcaredfor.”


    “Thenwhydoyouhidefromme?”Shesqueaks,lookingdejected.Isigh,reachingouttotakeherhandinmine.


    “Idonotknowhowtowinyou.”ItellherasIwalkbackward,pullingheralongwithme.“ButIwanttomakethisofficial,makeyouthetrue Luna…”


    “IalreadytoldyouIwaswilling…”sheremindsme.


    “Willingisgood,butIwantyoutowantit.”


    Shegoessilentforamoment,hercheeksflushingabeautiful shadeofpinkbeforeshelooksupatme.


    “Thenmakemewantit?”


    Mybodyfreezes,mymouthgoingdryandmyhandsmmingup.


    “Makeyouwantme?”Iask,andshenods.“Howdoesonedothat?”


    “I’mattractedtoyou.”Sheoffers,“butIdon’tknowyou…wearesupposedtobematesnow,butIknownothingaboutyou,thispack…”


    “Isee…”Imutter,tryingtothinkofwhattodonext.I’veneverhadtowooawomanbefore.Withmyexmateeverythingwaseasy,itfell intocebecauseofthebond.OratleastIhadthought.


    “I enjoypopcorn.”Iannounceandshebitesbackugh.


    “That’s…well,that’sastart.Ilikeittoo.”Shesays,aglimmerinhereyesthatbringsagenuinesmiletomycheeksasIplopontothe couch,draggingherdownnexttomewithoutbeingtooforward.


    “Ithinkweshouldenteranagreement,”Itellher,andshescruncheshernoseinconfusion.Myhandreachesout,myfingerstrokingher nose,pressingtheconfusedlookfromherface.


    “Wearealreadyinanagreement,”shetriestoremindme,butIshakemyheadno.


    “Iwishtobefullymatedbeforethenextbigmeetingwherewewillhavetoleavethepack.”


    “Youwantme…”shepointstoherself,hereyebrowsshootingintoherhairline,“togowithyoutomeetings?Why?Where?Won’tthey knowhowweakIam?”


    “Youkeepimingtobeweak.Doyoustillhavenoideawhoyouare?”Iaskher.


    “Whatkindofmeetings?”Sheasks,changingthesubjectasshetugsatthesleevesof hershirtandIsmirk.


    “Thekindthatwillchangeyourlife,”


    Shescruncheshernoseinthought,thentiltsherhead.“Forthebetter?”


    “Mmm,thatremainstobeseen.”