Chapter 34: She''s both of you


    Hi, my name is Anna.


    Because my Mama thought it would be cool to name me that because her name was Elsa.


    But unlike Mama, I did not have golden, sun-like hair, nor her blue eyes.


    My eyes were grey, Mama said that they reflect light and change from bright to dark- I didn''t know the


    difference though, and my hair was as ck as a dark night.


    Mama said that they were beautiful but sometimes I wish I had her hair.


    1 Because I got my hair and eyes from my father.


    And it was a subject that my mother rarely talked about or when she did, only when I would insist on it,


    she would get sad.


    You must be wondering, how did I know so much when I was just a five year old, right? Well… I was


    soon to be six years old, if that helps.


    But let me tell you a secret, I was really smart even when I was five.


    I knew my multiplication tables up to thirty.


    I could add and subtract without using the pencil and eraser.


    I knew pneumonia starts with p.


    And I knew my grandfather wasn''t a nice man.


    I knew Mama was worried about me and Gammy.


    I knew Gammy was sick and it wasn''t just cold.


    Also my father''s name was Kristian.


    3 I knew it because Mama sometimes dreamed about him.


    I knew it because I heard Gammy talk to Mama.


    Gammy told Mama to ask for my father''s help but Mama didn''t want to.


    I didn''t know why Mama never talks about my father.


    Sometimes, I felt angry that she wouldn''t tell me anything about him.


    Sometimes, I felt sad that she had to be the only one to take care of us.


    Sometimes I wanted to ask her that she tell me everything about my father and take me to him.


    Sometimes, I was afraid that if I met my father, he would take me away from Mama, just like Mama did


    me from him.


    4 Sometimes, I just didn''t want to be this smart.


    Mama didn''t know, because I took my time writing down my sums even though I already knew the


    answers.


    Sometimes, I just pretended to not be interested in reading and studying.


    But they were the only things that made sense, not like how Mama pretended to be happy when she


    was actually sad.


    Right now, Mama was standing behind a tree and a tall man was standing in front of her.


    I couldn''t see him as he was hidden behind a tree so I walked to the edge of the park and called,


    "Mama!"


    But she didn''t hear me.


    The tall man suddenly turned around and walked away.


    I wondered if he was the one she wanted to be friends with.


    Was he the one she went on a dinner withst night? Mama had never gone to dinner with a friend


    before, and it made me feel really sad for her.


    I got excited yesterday when I heard that she was going to dinner and it was the reason I gave her my


    lucky charm.


    I hope it worked.


    Mama could really use a friend.


    Just like I made new ones today.


    I looked back to where the two girls were still ying with the flying disk.


    Phoebe and Hanna were nice.


    It felt nice to be out here and y with other girls of the same age.


    I really enjoyed myself.


    It felt normal.


    This was the first time I had seen such a beautiful park, And it was nice to pretend that everything was


    normal even though I knew they weren''t even as Mama tried her best to make it so.


    I wished we would get to stay here longer than the other ces but I won''tin if Mama moved us


    again.


    She wanted the best for us and she had her reasons, though she never told me anything.


    "Anna?"


    I turned around to face Mama and notice her blotchy cheeks and red eyes.


    She was crying.


    "I live here, Elsa.


    I own this building."


    I stood there shocked and scared anew as he walked away and disappeared out of the view.


    I watched him until he came into view once again near the pool and then walked up the stairs to the


    doors that led inside the building.


    I turned around feeling like a lone tree standing in a storm and made my way toward the park.


    Anna was already standing at the edge of the park behind the small hedge that served as railing.


    My heart felt a hundred times heavy as I walked to her.


    "Mama?"


    I swallowed my tears and smiled at her.


    "Come, angel.


    N?velDrama.Org owns ? this.


    Let''s go up to the apartment.


    We have been here for a long time now."


    I picked her up and she easily wrapped her arms around my neck.


    "Mama, why are you upset?"


    She asked.


    "I am not, angel."


    Her small hand pressed to my cheek and she turned my face to look at her.


    She pressed her cheek against mine and said, "You are lying, Mama."


    But then she didn''t say anything else as she hugged me tight, her face pressed against my neck.


    When we reached the apartment I found Mom in the kitchen, making herself a herbal tea that she had


    always liked but now it was avable anytime she wanted.


    "Gammy, you know what we did…"


    I tuned out my daughter''s excited chatter as she started to tell her about everything she did downstairs,


    and made my way toward my bedroom.


    I closed the door behind me and let the tears fall once again.


    I knew what I was going to do now.


    Kristian lived in the same building as I.


    He f?cking owned the ce.


    I should''ve known, nothing could be ever this easy.


    If not today, then one day in the near future he would see Anna.


    In an elevator.


    Outside, in the hallway.


    Or when he dropped in unannounced just to torment me.


    And then his anger would be something I wouldn''t be able to face.


    He hated me for what I did.


    But after finding out that I hid his daughter, all this time, he would loathe me.


    2 I would''ve to tell him.


    There was no other choice left.


    I would''ve to let him know what happened all those years ago and wish that he believed me.


    I wiped my tears and decided that I would try again, I''d ask him to trust me and listen to my side of the


    story.


    He couldn''t not believe me.


    And he couldn''t take my daughter away from me after that.


    I had no choice! And now when I had one, I was choosing to tell him everything, he had to consider it


    and believe me.


    3 Twenty minutester after having a shower and dressing up for the day in one of the sundresses that


    filled my closet, I came out into the living room to find my little angel stuffing her face with Oreos and


    watching another of the senseless cartoons she enjoys.


    She was smiling and that was enough.


    I found Mom near the windows and came to stand beside her.


    I opened my mouth but before I could tell her about the appointment we have at ten, she said, "You


    know… When you were little, you could always sense when I felt upset and you''d juste to me and


    hug me tight."


    I looked out of the window.


    "You think she is her father''s daughter because of the way she looks and how quick she''s with certain


    things,"


    I smiled to myself, my heart swelling with pride.


    My mother put her hand on my shoulder and said, "But she has your smile.


    She has your chann.


    And she has your heart, princess.


    She''s both of you, Elsa."


    "Don''t call me that."


    I hated that endearment.


    She ignored me and said, "She smiles and pretends to be the kid we want her to be.


    But like you, she isn''t getting a chance to enjoy her childhood, Elsa."


    I turned my eyes to her and met the blues that were just like mine.


    I said, "I never wanted this for her."


    She nodded.


    "I know.


    Just like I never wanted all that happened to you.


    But you have a choice, Elsa.


    Her father isn''t like yours.


    You know he would die before letting something happen to his own flesh and blood."


    I nodded, a tear escaping my eye.


    I quickly wiped it away and pressed my lips tightly until the sob crawled back down my throat.


    I swallowed and said, "I am afraid.


    What if… What if he took her away from me?"


    "Do you really think he would do that?"


    She questioned.


    Pulling me into her side she said, "Well, even if he did… He would have to fight not one but two women


    and a little warrior princess that we have."


    3 I chuckled hoarsely.


    She said, "You know she wouldn''t ever let anyone separate you, just like you wouldn''t let him.


    She has his brain but she has your heart, princess.


    She has his loyalty and I am sure one day she will prove that she has your fierceness and


    determination.


    But right now, she needs her parents and a home to enjoy her childhood."


    I nodded.


    "I will tell him."


    I looked at her and said, "He is the one I''m working for."


    She didn''t say anything as she nodded.


    "And he is the one who brought us here.


    He owns the apartment building."


    "I figured the first part, when you refused to tell me anything.


    And how your eyes were brighter than usual."


    I frowned at her.


    She chucked me under the chin as if I was still her little girl.


    "It was the same look that you woke up with every morning after you spent your night talking with him


    in the forest."


    The way she put emphasis on the word talking, I knew she knew we weren''t talking most of the time.


    I looked away from her and sheughed.


    "Also, you have been vibrating with nervous energy for thest few days that I haven''t seen in years."


    "He is an arsehole.


    He is looking for revenge."


    "Then, let him know that there is no need for one."


    "I will."


    Just when I find the right time, I will.


    I just have to make sure that he truly wouldn''t be too cruel to take my daughter from me.


    "You have to get ready.


    And I have to find a way to keep Anna safe and away from mischief while we leave for the hospital."


    1 "Oh, there are brochures in the drawer near the stove.


    This ce has everything.


    You can hire a maid.


    A chef.


    A masseuse.


    Can you imagine having a masseuse on call?"


    Sheughed.


    "And yes, tutors.


    Babysitters."


    1 "Should''ve told me about that at the beginning."


    I said.


    She ignored my tone and said, "Also there''s one thing that I think our little angel would love the most….


    They have karate/ Martial arts sses."


    "Ha..


    Sure, teach her how to break someone''s hand and then we won''t have to worry about her."


    "Only the people around her."


    Mama and Iughed at herment.