Chapter 21


    Zephyr had been right when asked. For enough money, any restaurant would deliver food to a hungry


    couple. Even a couple who had refused to leave their hotel room while sating a different hunger than


    that of the stomach.


    How could she end their sexual liaison without ending their friendship? Did she have enough strength


    of will to be his friend without falling back into his bed? And even if she did, would maintaining their


    friendship be the best thing for her emotional well-being? How was she going to get over him if she


    continued to see him?


    But how could she stop seeing him without totally shattering what was left of her heart?


    This morning had only added to her already roiling thoughts and emotions. They’d once again made


    love and it had been so profound, she’d been a breath away from blurting out her love for him.


    She’d needed some time to get her emotions back under control and insisted Zephyr take one of his


    military-length showers. Alone. He often bragged about the quick grooming habits he’d learned on the


    ship he’d worked when leaving Greece and she wasn’t above ying to that pride. She’d used the


    excuse that they needed to get going if they were going to make it to the seaside vige that was home


    to Trident’s temple ruins in time to actually see them.


    Clearly indulging her, he’d agreed. And she’d gotten a few precious and necessary minutes to herself,


    both while he showered and now while she did.


    The only problem was, her emotions were just as raw now as they had been while she and Zephyr


    made love. She ached with the need to tell him of her feelings, but was afraid that they would be an


    unwee burden. And she couldn’t squash the hope that maybe if he just realized it was safe to love


    her, that she wouldn’t betray him as others had in the past, he might let his heart out of its self-imposed


    prison.


    Carefully, she swiped soapy hands over her birth control patch. Or rather where the patch was


    supposed to be.


    No. No, no, no, no.


    It was there. It had to be. She craned her neck over her shoulder to look down at her right hip, but saw


    nothing except smooth skin. She looked over the other side, praying she’d forgotten that she’d used a


    different hip this time. But no fleshcolored square resided there, either.


    Where was it? She wasn’t due to rece the weekly dose of birth control until the day after tomorrow


    and she wasn’t scheduled to be without until a full week after that.


    Oh, God. The prayer left her lips in desperation as she tried to remember thest time she’d checked


    the patch.


    Having it there had be such second nature that she barely even noticed it anymore. She was


    always careful in the shower, never soaping the area directly. She’d lost one the first month she was


    using them, but she’d soon learned how to avoid corrupting the adhesive that held the hormone


    dispenser in ce.


    She forced her mind to bring up and scour images from the preceding days, but thest clear


    impression she had of her patch was during her shower in a Midwest hotel room the morning before


    catching her flight to Greece. No, she couldn’t have lost it her first day in Athens.


    It wouldn’t have just fallen off. But the way she and Zephyr had touched that first time making love after


    their weeks-long separation had been rough, urgent and not at all careful of clothing, much less an


    adhesive square attached to her body. But if she’d lost it then, they had made love a number of times


    since without any form of protection.


    Her breath choked in her throat at the very real possibility of what that could mean. No. She refused to


    believe God would be that cruel.


    She felt like hyperventting as she asked herself what to do now. How was she supposed to walk


    away from Zephyr if she was pregnant with his child? Would he believe that she had not done it on


    purpose? Losing the condoms had been his idea, but would he remember that when faced with the


    unexpected results?


    She didn’t want to tell him pregnancy was even a possibility. Doing so would only add stress between


    them when there was as much a chance she wasn’t now carrying new life as that she was. Maybe


    even more so, considering how long she’d been on the patch.


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    However, if she didn’t tell him, how would she exin the need to return to using condoms? Also, if she


    didn’t, how would she ever be able to exin that level of dishonesty to herself? A lie of omission was


    still a lie, wasn’t it?


    She wanted Zephyr to believe it was safe to love her, that he could trust her with his deepest emotions


    and needs. How could she build that trust with him if she hid something this important from him?


    Wasn’t it better to be honest and up-front about what was going on, rather than pretending everything


    was fine when it very much was not?


    Hadn’t Art done that to her? And before him, her parents? Who often waited until thest possible


    moment to warn her about the next move? They’d always justified this behavior by saying they had


    enough to deal with without her and her brother and sister having a month-long temper tantrum about


    leaving their friends behind. They gave just enough time for their children to say goodbye to their


    closest friends before uprooting them for her father’s newest military assignment.