Chapter 78
Emotionless
I couldn’t cry even though I wanted to. For some sick reason, my body decided that it would be better if I
kept all my intense emotions rotting inside me instead of crving them out. Iy on my bed, thinking about
how this could happen. I was so engaged in his war that I poured my heart and soul into it, but he
decided to crush it. Even if it was a twisted way of his to protect me, it destroyed everything and all the
trust between us. I was certain of him, to the point where I wanted to risk my life for him because I
thought that he would do the same… Was I only fooling myself?
I stared at the ceiling, analyzing the situation of my kidnapping with a brand-new filter. What would have
happened if I hadn’t found my way out of there? Would Aren have risked his life to save mine, or perhaps
it was merely my foolish assumption? Maybe he had never nned to enter that building in the first
ce. Maybe his sole purpose had always been to catch the one who wanted him dead? I felt that my
heart grew bitter with every new “maybe” that appeared inside my mind.
“Idiot…” I muttered to myself, letting out a humorlessugh. “You wanted to believe in a fairy
tale, but such doesn’t exist.”
I struggled with shallow breathing for another hour until suddenly, my chest stopped hurting, as if
someone put out the fire consuming my heart. Now it became almost cold, easily letting go of all the
necessary emotions.
“23 and a half more months, Cora,” I mumbled. “At least you didn’t sell yourself cheap.”
It looked like all women from the Bell family were cursed, and I wasn’t an exception. Perhaps God didn’t
want us to be loved by men, but he certainly wanted us to be strong, and I needed to toughen up. I
should have learned to value my heart long ago, and yet I kept repeating my mistakes. Aren was right
about one thing: I needed to suck it up.
After contemting for another five hours while staring at the ceiling, I got up from my bed with my heart
carefully patched and a new n for the rest of my life that didn’t involve Aren in it.
For the first time, I got out of bed before Aren. I could still hear him snoring when I passed his bedroom
on my way downstairs to the kitchen. I preferred it that way. I made us coffee, some toast, and vegetable
sd as if nothing had changed… Well, superficially it didn’t, but it feltpletely different. I sat down
and ate my portion of the sd, carefully calcting everything that needed to be done. I became
completely task-oriented. By the time I was finishing my cup of coffee, Aren came down.
“Good morning,” he said in a slightly sleepy voice, the one that used to make my heart flutter only
yesterday
“Good morning,” I replied dryly. “Your coffee is getting cold. I also made two copies of the recording and
hid it on two well-protected virtual drives, just in case. Now I’ll go upstairs to finish getting ready to leave.”
After my announcement, I got up and started walking upstairs.
“Cora” I heard his warm voice, and all my defense walls fell down. I nced over my shoulder, struggling
to keep my face indifferent, just like I did a few seconds ago. He gave me
brief smile “I’m d we’vee to terms.”
If he wanted to rub salt on my wounds, he did a tremendous job. I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the
lump in my throat. “Yes, we did,” I replied, turning away from him. If I had any doubts that the road of
indifference was my best and only choice, then they all disappeared at that very moment, “Come to
terms, my ass,” I muttered under my breath while climbing the stairs, I wanted to scream and hit him
hard, but would it change anything? I needed to swallow the pill no matter how agonizingly bitter it was.
Of course, that didn’t change the fact that I had already nned to mess up his life in every possible way
a hacker could as soon as our contractual marriage ended.
I barely said a word to him while we were on our way to the FBL Despite telling myself that! should act
naturally and contain my emotions, I felt it wasn’t working at all. I was all emotions – I only changed their
type, from fluffy and mushy to stinging and razor-sharp. I tried to hide them underneath a carefully
crafted smile, but I couldn’t erase them from my eyes,
“Are you nervous, sunshine?” Aren’s question brought my blood to a boil. Barely restraining myself from
exploding, I hissed, “We shouldn’t use any nicknames…at least when we are alone.”
He chuckled. “But I like calling you sunshine.”
“Well, I don’t,” I retorted and turned my head away from him. “I don’t want to… misunderstand you
anymore.”
He went silent as if my words startled him and replied only after a while, “All right. I won’t call you like
that again.”
Yet another stab in the heart. It hurt no matter how many times I told myself that it was better this way. I
knew that I needed to build a concrete wall around my heart soon, otherwise every second I spent with
him would be torture…
When we were almost in front of the FBI office, Jack texted, asking us to meet him at the nearby coffee
shop instead of his office. He also insisted that we park the car elsewhere and then walk to the ce of
our meeting. It sounded a bit strange, but we agreed that Jack had to have his reasons. Marcus stopped
the car a block away and checked the area before allowing us to leave the car,
“I don’t see anyone who could be following, but I suggest keeping your eyes open,” Marcus said, opening
the car door.
Aren nodded before offering his arm. “Let’s go,” he tossed dryly.
I clenched my jaw. Was that what our rtionship would look like? I hated that hostility slowly creeping
between us when the memory of his caresses and kisses was so vivid in my head.
I slid my hand around his bent arm, and I could feel him bing tense. Had my touch suddenly
be intolerable to him?”If you feel ufortable like this, I can simply walk
Còntens bel0ngs to N?(v)elDr/a/ma.Org
beside you,” I suggested, barely squeezing the words through my teeth. “No.” He ced his hand on
mine, making sure it stayed around his arm. “It’s all good.” I inwardly rolled my eyes at him, unable to
comprehend his reactions. As we walked, I could see Aren discreetly ncing at our surroundings, which
made me more nervous by the second. Were we in some kind of danger? Was Agent Jack Collins in
some kind of danger? Who was the one supposed to be following us? Was it someone connected to that
guy who kidnapped me? Or was it someone hired by the Wintons? All those uncertainties made me
tighten my grip around Aren’s arm, and I could swear that he smirked as I did it. Jerk.
We walked into the coffee shop Jack mentioned, and then we went upstairs and chose the table by the
corner, just like he instructed us in his text message. He joined us a minuteter, panting as if he had run
there.
“I apologize for the secrecy but don’t think it’s safe to talk inside the office anymore,” he said, sitting by
our table. “What’s going on, Jack?” Aren leaned forward on the table, a frown painting his forehead. “I
don’t know what kind of connections this Packton guy has, but there are rumors that our current
Assistant Director in charge of the New York field office will be offered an early retirement and Packton is
taking his ce!” Jack spoke agitatedly. “But wasn’t this guy corrupted?” I asked, realizing that he was
still handling Can’s case. “Yeah, that guy is definitely dirty, but that’s not all…” I sighed, feeling the
iing headache. “There’s more..?”
Jack leaned closer and smiled wryly. “I just got suspended.”
“Suspended for what?!” Aren snapped. “I assume that Packton is going to press the prosecution to form
charges against me,” he said nervously.
I swallowed, being more than certain that his suspension had everything to do with our case.” What can
you be used of?”
“In the best case scenario, for dereliction of duty…” He paused and clenched his fists. “In the worst case
scenario… they will use me of conspiracy to murder Can Winton.”