Chapter 32


    "If you do this, let me show you." Rather than going back downstairs, he turns right out of the yroom,


    as he calls it, and down a corridor. We pass several doors until we reach the one at the end. Beyond it


    is a bedroom with arge double bed, all in white...


    everything, furniture, walls, bedding. It''s sterile and cold but with the most glorious view of Seattle


    through the ss wall.


    "This will be your room. You can decorate it how you like, have whatever you like in here."


    "My roomYou''re expecting me to move in?" I can''t hide the horror in my voice.


    "Not full time. Just say, Friday evening through Sunday. We have to talk about all that, negotiate. If you


    want to do this," he adds, his voice quiet and hesitant.


    "I''ll sleep here?"


    "Yes."


    "Not with you."


    "No. I told you, I don''t sleep with anyone, except you, when you''re stupefied with drink." His eyes are


    reprimanding.


    My mouth presses in a hard line. This is what I cannot reconcile. Kind, caring Christian, who rescues


    me from inebriation and holds me gently while I''m throwing up into the azaleas, and the monster who


    possesses whips and chains in a special room.


    "Where do you sleep?"


    "My room is downstairs. Come, you must be hungry."


    "Weirdly, I seem to have lost my appetite," I murmur petntly.


    "You must eat, Anastasia," he admonishes and, taking my hand, leads me back downstairs.


    Back in the impossibly big room, I am filled with deep trepidation. I am on the edge of a precipice, and I


    have to decide whether or not to jump.


    "I''m fully aware that this is a dark path I''m leading you down, Anastasia, which is why I really want you


    to think about this. You must have some questions," he says as he wanders into the kitchen area,


    releasing my hand.


    I do. But where to start?


    "You''ve signed your NDA, you can ask me anything you want, and I''ll answer."


    I stand at the breakfast bar watching him as he opens the refrigerator and pulls out a te of different


    cheeses with tworge bunches of green and red grapes. He sets the te down on the worktop and


    proceeds to cut up a French baguette.


    "Sit." He points to one of the bar stools at the breakfast bar, and I obey hismand.


    If I''m going to do this, I''m going to have to get used to it. I realize he''s been this bossy since I met him.


    "You mentioned paperwork."


    "Yes."


    "What paperwork?"


    "Well, apart from the NDA, a contract saying what we will and won''t do. I need to know your limits, and


    you need to know mine. This is consensual, Anastasia."


    "And if I don''t want to do this?"


    "That''s fine," he says carefully.


    "But we won''t have any sort of rtionship?" I ask.


    "No."


    "Why?"


    "This is the only sort of rtionship I''m interesting in."


    "Why?"


    He shrugs.


    "It''s the way I am."


    "How did you be this way?"


    "Why is anyone the way they areThat''s kind of hard to answer. Why do some people like cheese and


    other people hate itDo you like cheeseMrs. Jones - my housekeeper


    - has left this for supper." He takes somerge, white tes from a cupboard and ces one in front of


    me.


    We''re talking about cheese... Holy crap.


    "What are your rules that I have to follow?"


    "I have them written down. We''ll go through them once we''ve eaten."


    Food. How can I eat now?


    "I''m really not hungry," I whisper.


    "You will eat," he says simply. Dominating Christian, it all bes clear. "Would you like another ss


    of wine?"


    "Yes, please."


    He pours wine into my ss andes to sit beside me. I take a hasty sip.


    "Help yourself to food, Anastasia."


    I take a small bunch of grapes. This I can manage. He narrows his eyes.


    "Have you been like this for a while?" I ask.


    "Yes."


    "Is it easy to find women who want to do this?"


    He raises an eyebrow at me.


    "You''d be amazed," he says dryly.


    "Then why meI really don''t understand."


    "Anastasia, I''ve told you. There''s something about you. I can''t leave you alone." He smiles ironically.


    "I''m like a moth to a me." His voice darkens. "I want you very badly, especially now, when you''re


    biting your lip again." He takes a deep breath and swallows.


    My stomach somersaults - he wants me... in a weird way, true, but this beautiful, strange, kinky man


    wants me.


    "I think you have that cliche the wrong way round." I grumble. I am the moth and he is the me, and


    I''m going to get burnt. I know.


    "Eat!"


    "No. I haven''t signed anything yet, so I think I''ll hang on to my free will for a bit longer, if that''s okay with


    you."


    His eyes soften, and his lips turn up in a smile.


    "As you wish, Miss Steele."


    "How many women?" I blurt out the question, but I''m so curious.


    "Fifteen."


    Oh... not as many as I thought.


    Belongs to ? n0velDrama.Org.


    "For long periods of time?"


    "Some of them, yes."


    "Have you ever hurt anyone?"


    "Yes."


    Holy shit.


    " Badly?"


    "No."


    "Will you hurt me?"


    "What do you mean?"


    "Physically, will you hurt me?"


    "I will punish you when you require it, and it will be painful."


    I think I feel a little faint. I take another sip of wine. Alcohol - this will make me brave.


    "Have you ever been beaten?" I ask.


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