Chapter 238


    Did I feel lost? How could I possibly not feel lost when the person who had been taking care of me all


    this while was suddenly distancing himself?


    But what right did I have toin about it?


    I threw the phone aside and repeatedly told myself that Colin had found the love of his life. Wasn’t this


    what I had always hoped for in the past? I should be happy for him.


    But for some reason, I just couldn’t feel happy.


    I hadn’t realized why I was so sad and upset. I was just deluding myself, telling myself that all this was


    normal and that it was bound to happen someday. It just came a little too sudden, so I wasn’t mentally


    prepared yet.


    I keptforting myself, telling myself to start getting used to this version of Colin and this version of


    me.


    However, even with all the excuses I could think of, I couldn’t ept or forgive him for dering his


    affection for another woman. Not before I had even given him an answer.


    We had a promise, but he had broken it. It was clearly his fault.


    Thinking about this, I couldn’t help feeling a sense of betrayal. I could feel the wet patch on my pillow


    spread.


    I wanted so badly to call Colin and ask what he meant by his actions. I wanted to ask if he no longer


    needed my answer.


    But I just couldn’t bring myself to press the call button even after searching for his name.


    It was because I was afraid.


    I was afraid that if the answer wasn’t what I wanted, I would be at a loss.


    This wasn’t the first time I was abandoned. Once, I was harshly criticized and humiliated when I sought


    the truth. If today was a repetition of the past, I wouldn’t want to ask again. I didn’t want to be


    humiliated once more.


    I had my pride too.


    Suddenly, I remembered what my mother had said. She wished that I would no longer have any


    involvement with the Whites.


    +35 BONUS


    There were so many people in this world. The daughter of the Lawsons didn’t have to rely on the sons


    of the Whites.


    I had always thought that Colin and Felix were different. Colin had promised he wouldn’t lose me.


    s…


    I hadn’t done anything, but I had already lost miserably.


    For the first time in my life, I tasted disappointment.


    When dawn broke, I wanted to get up but found my head spinning when I tried to. My eyes were dry


    and gritty.


    Picking up my phone to look at myself, I was startled. My eyes were bloodshot, my cheeks were


    swollen, and my skin was as white as paper. I resembled a vampire that had been buried underground


    for a thousand years. I looked terrifyingly haggard.


    This was also the first time I was in such a miserable state because of a man.


    Mom was right. I really shouldn’t set my heart on the sons of the Whites.


    Because it hurt.


    The Whites always hurt me and made me sad. Why should I still long for their warmth and care?


    Forget it, Luna.


    I was telling myself to forget about them. Everything woulde to a pass. I shouldn’t be sad anymore.


    If love could only bring pain, then perhaps life would be better without it.


    As I staggered to wash up, I looked at the pitiful reflection in the bathroom mirror. I made up my mind.


    From now on, I would learn to live by myself. I would never rely on anyone and never ever harbor


    expectations of anyone easily.


    The orientation party would start at eight in the evening.


    I started to prepare for the evening’s performance at four in the afternoon.


    After crying all night, my face was slightly swollen. It was all the more reason to go for heavier makeup.


    I put on a snow–white casual long dress with silver sequins embroidered on the hem and


    2/3


    back,


    +35 BONUS


    I wore the white strappy sandals with pearls I had recently bought while shopping with Colin, carried my


    beloved guitar, and stepped out of the apartment.