Chapter 19: 19 Saudade


    Saudade


    - the feeling of longing for something or someone who you love which is lost


    Origin: Portuguese


    19


    NICK''S POV


    EIGHT YEARS AGO


    "Is this how you do it?" I asked.


    Catherine looks over at me while I was chopping the spices she needs for the spicy spaghetti she''s


    teaching me. Sheughs and stands behind my back as she pressed her front on me.


    "Love, that''s too small..." she giggles.


    "Is it?" I pulled my head up to her.


    "But don''t worry. It''ll work out just fer I guess." She leans over and kissed my cheeks while her


    blond hair falls to my left shoulder.


    I smile at her.


    She keeps kissing my cheek while her arms were holding around my chest. Her breasts pressed


    against my back. Catherine was teaching me how to cook and even though I hate cooking, she forced


    me to and since I love her so much, I allowed myself to learn. At least if we''ll go to college, I''m ready to


    make meals for her if shees homete.


    Catherine walks back to the burner with the chopping board on her hand and started cing the


    chopped spices into the mixed paste. I stood right next to her and just love the view of her while she is


    wiping her sweat over her forehead. She told me to check the pasta so I checked the pasta. She told


    me to whisked the sauce so I whisked the sauce. The aroma filled the entire house and I''m sure as hell


    that our dinner will be delicious.


    The entire house was ours tonight since mom and Tracy went out of town with Danny and I really


    wanted to stay behind cos of Catherine. I helped Catherine prepare the table and we had such a


    scrumptious dinner. We talked a lot about our ns for college and then we washed the dishes


    together.


    We lounged on the couch while the tv was the only thing lighting the entire living room. She was resting


    her head on my shoulder while we were both watching this romantic movie that she picked for us to


    watch. Even though I don''t like the movie, I have no choice but to watch it cos I love Catherine.


    I want Catherine to be happy. I want Catherine to smile. I want Catherine to be pleased. I want


    Catherine and only her.


    "Have you talked to your parents on transferring to high school here?" I ask.


    "I''m still talking to them about it."


    I sigh. "Maybe it''s not a good n to let you transfer. Your parents will be suspicious about transferring


    all of a sudden to my school."


    I feel her twirling her finger over my chest. "But I don''t want to wait for almost two more years to see


    you."


    She pulls her head up to me and I bent down a little to kiss her forehead. It''s been three weeks since


    the first time I kissed her at theke and after that we kiss a lot than usual.


    "Catherine you don''t have to worry about me. Two years will be fast and we''ll be together in college


    then." I said.


    "But women will be all over you while I''m away." She pouts.


    "They''ll never be as good as you." I push her hair behind her ear.


    She hugs me all of a sudden and I just rub her back. This was hard for us cos I''m sure her parents


    won''t allow her to transfer to a cheap ass school and I''m sure they''ll find out about us soon. I''m scared


    of that day to happen cos I am most definitely sure they''ll tear us apart.


    "I''ll try to persuade them." She says.


    "Catherine you don''t really--"


    "I will do this for you Nick. I love you so much and I don''t want to be away from you. Where you are is


    where I am."


    I smiled at her.


    The main casts of the movie were watching are now making out and she nces at it but then pulls


    herself up a little so she''s sitting straight now.


    "Nick, I was wondering.... have you ever had sex before?" She asked.


    Iugh softly. "Why? You''re getting carried away by the movie?"


    She chuckles. "I''m just curious."


    I lean closer to her and kissed her lips quickly. "Yeah. But now that I think about it, I wish I waited


    longer so I could''ve given you my virginity."


    She smiles.


    I know she likes what she heard but I mean that. I didn''t just say it to impress her. But I really wished I


    did wait for her.


    "Are you still a virgin, babe?" I ask her.


    She shies away, covering her face quickly then pulling it away from her. I love how Catherine''s cheeks


    turns red when she''s shy or caught off guard. I love it when she''s embarrassed in front of me every


    time we talk dirty. She shakes her head telling me that she wasn''t one anymore.


    "Are you okay about that?" She asks.


    "Of course. I love you Catherine. I will ept you with all you are." I said.


    She leans closer to me and starts kissing my lips all of a sudden. I kiss her back really quick and we


    just kissed with tongue until I feel her leaning back down to the couch and I was going down with her. I


    know where this was going and I''m anticipating for it.


    "You want this now?" I ask.


    "Yes Nick. I want you. All of you."


    She pulls my shirt off of me and I hurriedly help her take off her clothes. She stands on her feet while


    she was only left with her underwear. I pulled off my pants from me leaving my boxers on. She sits on


    top of myp as I unsp her bra, I threw it to the floor and starts sucking and licking her nipples. She


    pulls her head back and she was moaning.


    I feel her hands pulling down the garter of my boxers while she presses down her sex on my bulge. I


    quickly took off my boxers and erection springs free. I pulled down her panty sliding it off her leg,


    kissing her ribs then shends her lips on mine. She strokes my length and her hands were good.


    When I was ready, I carried her up and ced her down on the couch. Letting her lie down so I can be


    on top of her.


    This was our first time to have sex, I want to be on top tonight.


    I kept kissing her lips caressing her body and slowly inserting myself inside of her.


    ?????


    "Morning love." I hear her.


    I open my eyes only to find my beautiful girlfriend wearing nothing but my shirt on with a tray of foods


    that she obviously made for me. I''m quickly sat on the bed and rubbed my eyes while she ced the


    tray on top of myp.


    She leans forward to me and kissed my lips. "Good morning beautiful."


    "I''ve made you breakfast love. Pancakes with honey, no butter cos you don''t like butter and you''re


    newly favorite orange juice." She smiled happily.


    I smiled and kissed her again. "I only liked orange juice cos that was what we drank when you first


    came here."


    She giggles.


    "I love you. You know what''s best for me." I said as I leaned over her again and kissed her forehead.


    Both of us started eating and after a while we took shower together. We took long in the shower cos we


    cuddled and teased each other a little bit. Since Catherine brought some clothes with her, it felt like we


    were married couple. In the middle of the day, a loud knock came by the door all of a sudden.


    I didn''t know mom and Tracy will be back sooner than I thought.This text is property of N?/velD/rama.Org.


    "Could you get it love?" I ask her while I was upstairs preparing myself.


    "Sure!" I hear her.


    We were nning on driving around townter to buy some ingredients for the cake she''ll be baking for


    my mom. It''s going to be her birthday tomorrow.


    "Who''s by the door love?" I ask while I stumble down the stairs.


    I hear yelling.


    I rushed downstairs right away and froze when I saw her father on my doorstep. He looked furious and


    mad seeing his own daughter inside the house of a man wearing nothing but my loose shirt on her.


    Shit. Catherine told him that she was staying over a female friend''s house but this totally ruined


    everything that we nned for. My heart quickly elerated and I see Catherine''s tears filling her eyes


    while her own father was dragging her out of the house.


    "This man?! You have been busy with this man? This poor man living on this ugly shack?!" Her dad


    yelling louder.


    I ran out of the door and tried to exin to him. I just wish he would listen.


    "Sir, you''re hurting Catherine." I said as I see her arm getting red from all the pulling her father is doing.


    "Don''t you dare tell me what to do about my daughter! I know what I''m doing! I know what''s best for


    her!!" He yelled and pointed at me.


    Catherine is crying.


    Catherine is hurt.


    Catherine''s tears won''t stop falling.


    It''s hurting me cos it''s hurting Catherine.


    "You disgraced me Catherine. Look what in hell you are wearing!" He yelled.


    "Dad you don''t understand!! I love him! I love Nick and he loves me!" Catherine screams out while she


    tries to pull herself away from her dad.


    "What has he done to you? Does he even have the money to support you?! You know nothing about


    love Catherine! You''re only sixteen! You do not know what you are saying!" He yells at her while pulling


    her wrist.


    "Sir with all due respect, I may be a poor man. I may not have avish life as you and I''m not earning a


    living yet but I am honestly in love with your daughter. If you just let me--"


    Hisugh cut me off. "You don''t love my daughter. You''re after her money!"


    "Dad don''t say that to him!!" She yells at her own father.


    Mr. Forster pulled Catherine towards him and he held both of her arms. "Why in hell are you defending


    him?! Are you out of your mind? Have you finally let him inside your pants?! Have you--"


    "Yes! Yes! I let him inside my pants! Yes I slept with him! Yes we did it! We had sex dad! We did it over


    and over again!" Catherine yells.


    Shit. That wasn''t good.


    Out of nowhere her father''s palmnded on her cheeks and he pped her. My eyes widened. I


    couldn''t believe he could do that to her. She fell on the floor holding her cheek and I quickly ran to her.


    Catherine''s cheeks was turning red and she was crying hard on my chest. She keeps on crying and it''s


    hurting me seeing her like this. She''s holding onto me as if I''m the only thing that she can lean on to


    right now.


    "Don''t let him take me away from you. Nick please." She''s grasping on my sleeve while her voice


    shaking.


    I kissed her forehead. "No love. They won''t break us. I promise." I whispered.


    I see his bodyguards walking up towards us and tried to pull Catherine away from me. She pulls herself


    away from them and I tried to hold her close.


    "Nick!" She calls out to me.


    "Catherine! Let go of her!" I called back.


    All of a sudden one of their bodyguard grabbed my cor and hit me hard on my stomach. I curled up


    into a ball lying down on the floor feeling the pain growing inside me and coughing.


    "Nick! Oh my god Nick! Why did you do that to him?! You bastard!! You hit him! Nick!!" She calls out but


    she was already pulled away from me.


    I grunt. I reach out my hand to her.


    "It''s okay...." I cough. "It''s okay Catherine."


    Her tears unstoppable.


    "Just go with them for now. I''m okay." I tried to sit on the ground.


    Catherine cries more while she was being dragged to their car. She keeps looking at me while I was


    standing back on my feet and her tears were unstoppable.


    "We''ll be okay!" I yelled out to her.


    "Nick!!" She calls out again


    "I''ll hold on to that promise!!" I screamed before she enters the car.


    __________


    SFTC:


    Give In To Me - Leighton Meester ft. Garrett Hedlund