Chapter 61


    Though Master James was still toying with her breast Beth was no longer floating in a haze of aroused


    anticipation. She opened her eyes, though kept them submissively lowered.


    Master James’s fingers stopped moving, his hand ttening over her chest.


    “Can you do me a favor?” Though she could tell Master James was looking at her, it was clear he was


    speaking to the other Dom.


    “Of course.”


    “I need some things.”


    Beth remained still as Master James leaned away from her to whisper to the other man. When he’d left,


    Master James shifted slightly, adjusting pillows until he was in a more rxed half-reclining position.


    He tugged Beth’s shoulders until she was reclining against his side, her head pillowed on his shoulder.


    “We haven’t talked about our letter.”


    Beth found her tension slipping away as she lounged against him. “No, Master James, we haven’t.”


    “I assume Madame Cat told you it’s C.”


    “I figured it out.”


    “The cage and the cor, orck thereof, were a ratherrge clue. How are you feeling about Madame


    Cat removing her cor?”


    Beth shrugged.


    “No, I want to hear how you’re feeling. The truth.” Themand was clear in his voice.


    “I knew Madame Cat was moving and leaving LA. I didn’t know it was going to be today.”


    “That’s what you know, not how you feel.”


    A valid point, and she should have known he’d ask what for her was a difficult question. “I didn’t feel


    surprised when she removed her cor. I was…resigned. I’d nned to give up my own membership


    when Madame Cat left.”


    “Because you didn’t want to submit to anyone but her?” He sounded both surprised and concerned.


    “No, because being a sub is not what I thought it would be. I have not enjoyed it.” She shook her head,


    because that wasn’t quite right. “It has not been what I expected.”


    “You’re disappointed.”


    “Yes. Disappointed.” It felt good to say it, and it was true, but given her current position it was an odd


    statement. “In the Subs’ Garden, when others talk about their sessions and scenes…” Beth didn’t want


    to finish the sentence. Anything she said would sound pathetic, as if she were whining. She didn’t want


    to do that.


    “Your submission hasn’t been fulfilling.”


    She was d he understood. “Exactly.”


    “Have you considered topping?”


    Beth sucked in air and almost choked. “No!”


    “You don’t find that idea appealing?”


    “I could never do it. I could never be responsible for a sub.”


    “Why not? You said that you’re good at reading people.”


    “Not their emotions, not in situations like this.” She gestured to the courtyard, which was slowly filling


    with club members.


    “Beth, sit up and look at me.”


    She rose and twisted, this time meeting his eyes without being prompted.


    “Why did you join Las Palmas?”


    Taking a deep breath, Beth finally said, “I won’t answer that.” The answer revealed too many things,


    asked her to expose too much of her own weaknesses.


    Master James searched her face. “And you have the right not to. But I have to ask—are you sure


    you’re submissive?”


    Beth stiffened. “I’m a good submissive.”


    “You’re a good rule follower. That’s not the same thing. When you think about submitting, what do you


    imagine, what do you want? I don’t mean physically. What do you want to feel?”


    She almost left, almost stood up and walked away rather than answer. Thest person to ask that was


    Master Leo at her interview for membership.


    Master James cupped her neck, thumb pressed lightly to the underside of her jaw. The physical contact


    centered her.


    “I want to not worry,” she whispered.


    “Worry about what?”


    “About if I’m saying the right thing, doing the right thing. I want to be with another person, but know that


    I’m being with them the right way.”


    “And the rules of BDSM…that’s how you’ll know you’re doing it the right way.” He spoke slowly, as if he


    were processing what he was saying as he spoke.


    “Yes.”


    “Beth, I have to ask, are you, uh…”


    She knew what he was saying. Plenty of people had either assumed or used her of being on the


    autism spectrum. “Does it matter?”


    “No, and it was rude of me to say anything.” His matter-of-fact tonecked the pity she feared. “But I’m


    worried that this is some kind of coping mechanism, and not something you really enjoy.”


    “Oh, I hadn’t considered that.”


    Master James ran a hand through his hair. “In light of what I’m nning to do to you, I’d feel a lot better


    if I knew you were actually going to enjoy it.”


    “You think I won’t?” The question was serious, but held a hint of teasing, something Beth wouldn’t have


    dared with anyone else. It was him—he made her behave this way. The only reason she dared was


    because he’d pleased her far more than anyone else had, making the idea that he wouldn’t please her


    laughable.


    “Okay, now you’re just insulting me.” His lips twitched, the sparkle in his eyes inviting her to again tease


    him in turn.


    “How am I insulting you?”


    “You’re implying I can’t pleasure you.”


    “I didn’t say that.” She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.


    Master James grinned. “What you’re saying is that in all your years as a member here, no Dom has


    really pleasured you.”


    “Yes, so it’s not just you.”


    Master James let out a bark ofughter and Beth lost control of her smile. This was fun.


    Then Master James’sugh faded to a grin and he looked pointedly to the side.


    Beth was suddenly aware that there was no chatter and almost every eye was on them. If it had been a


    movie, there would have been a screeching record to apany the silence that fell after her words.


    She sucked in a breath and stared wide-eyed at Master James. He continued smiling, as if this were


    still funny, but all Beth could think was that she’d just insulted nearly a dozen Doms, some of whom


    might have used her before and would take it personally.


    Beth pushed herself to the edge of the chair, ready to drop to her knees. Master James grabbed her


    around the waist.


    “Oh no, you don’t.”


    “A sub should never speak disrespectfully about a Dom,” she whispered frantically.


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    “A Dom should know how to pleasure a sub.”


    Beth shook her head. “You’re confusing me. It’s a sub’s job to pleasure the Dom, in whatever method


    or manner they find pleasing. A sub should get pleasure from that alone.”


    A strangeugh had Beth hunching her shoulders. The other Dom was back. He handed James arge


    bag. “Beth, my dear, if you really think that, then we’ve all failed you.”


    The statement elicited a smattering ofughter from those closest to them. Someone said, “Do you


    hear that, pet? You job is to please me in whatever manner I want, soe here and give me a kiss.”


    Beth was having trouble figuring out what was going on. “Are theyughing at me?”


    “No. They’reughing because that’s not the philosophy of most of the Doms here. Maybe if we were


    hanging out in the Iron Court it would be, but even then most Doms take pride in knowing they can


    make a sube so hard she won’t remember her own name. Or pleasure her so well that pain


    bes pleasure.”


    “I still don’t understand.” She wanted to, but she didn’t.


    “I’m guessing that Madame Cat, and others, thought that you derived pleasure from serving and being


    treated like an object. There are people with that kink—you’re just not one of them. You were sex


    misdiagnosed.” Master James stroked her cheek until she looked at him. “As illuminating as this has


    been, we’re done with this conversation. All you need to understand is that until Sunday evening you’re


    mine.”


    “Yes, Master James.” As the words left her mouth, a kind of peace settled over her.


    He examined her before he nodded. “We were discussing our letter. Do you remember the checklist?”


    “I do.”


    “And what do you think is on it, for the letter C?”


    “Cages, caning, cattle prod, cells, chains, chastity belts, choking, chores, clothespins, mps, cock


    rings, cock worship, cors, corsets, and cuffs.”


    Master James looked startled. “Er, yes, that’s it exactly.”


    “Would you rather I not remember?”


    “No, but I had nned to tease you with the possibilities. I’m guessing you’ve had time to think about


    them.”


    “I have. None of them are on my list of hard limits.”


    “Well, a few of them are hard limits for me.”


    “They are?”


    “You’re surprised.”


    Beth debated asking her question, finally giving in. “Why do Masters need hard limits? The sub can’t


    make you do anything.”


    “True, but a sub might want or expect something I am notfortable with, so a checklist helps make


    sure that no one is disappointed.”


    “I hadn’t considered that. What are your—”


    He pressed two fingers over her mouth. “I’m not going to tell you. You’ll just have to figure it out. Now,


    come back here so I can y with you.”