Pregnant And Rejected By My Alpha Mate By Caroline Above Chapter 190
Chapter 190 – The Goddess Mans
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Selene
“I can’t do this for much longer,” | groan, staring out the windows at the glittering skyline of tartarus.
ise will be holding court in just under an hour, and my night will go the same of every night that has
come before. His servants will dress me in a ridiculously expensive gown, I’ll wear it for a sum total of
one hour while the aristocrats of the Calypso pack whisper at me behind their hands and ise fawns
over me. I’ll eventually excuse myself from dinner with the excuse of nausea, only to return to my
rooms and wait for ise to turn up and try to paw me. I’ll hypnotize him and send him to bed, then lie
awake agonizing over Bastien, L and our fu ture.
Weeks have passed but nothing has changed, and things aren’t getting any easier. I’m getting more
confident in using my magic and practice most of the day, but as I be more adept my body grows
weaker. My pregnancy is progressing just as it should, but carrying twins takes more of a toll on my
energy, mood and health than carrying L did, and I find my self sleeping almost as often as I’m
awake.
“You just have to hold on a little while longer.” Helene en courages, patting my hand.
“I don’t have a while.” I argue, “I’m getting bigger every day, and twins almost alwayse early.” The
doctor didn’t share this piece of news with me, but I found a few books in ise’s extremely neglected
library and discovered that I can expect my babies at 36 weeks instead of 40. I’m frightened and
heartsore, and every milestone that would usually fill me
with joy – like feeling the first gentle kicks in my womb – fill me with dread.
“You still have months to go, Selene.” Helene attempts to soothe me, “And the rebels are getting closer
to putting their ns in motion every day.”
“Well tell them to hurry up already!” | exim, throwing my hands up and pacing away from my mentor.
Helene re mains silent behind me, and as the seconds tick by, I feel in creasingly guilty for taking such
a tone with her. “I’m sorry.” | murmur, wrapping my arms protectively around myself, “I just miss
Bastien, I miss L, and I’m terrified of still being here when the new babiese.” My eyes burn with
tears, “what if I never see my family again? What if ise wins?”
“Of course you’re scared, darling.” Helene responds sym pathetically, “but you can’t let your fear
consume you. You have to keep fighting.”
“How are they? How are Bastien and my father?” | ques tion, thinking of all the other fears which
suddenly seem too inconsequential when all our lives are at stake: like the fact that I promised Bastien
he wouldn’t miss this pregnancy and am now breaking my word, or the very new concern that I might
never get to meet my father, when I’ve only just learned that he still lives.
“Your mate is formidable and determined.” Helene an swers, “As long as you’re alright he’ll suffer any
difort.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” | sigh. “I don’t want him to suf fer for me – he’s already been through so
much.”
“If it makes you feel any better, he’s not being harmed.” Helene assures me. “He’s caged, but ise
has no reason to
torture him the way he…”
“The way he tortured my father?” | guess, finishing her thought when she cannot.
“Yes.” She agrees.
“I wish I could see them, even just for a few moments.” | confess, trying to concoct a n to get down
to the dun geons unseen for the thousandth time, anding up short yet again.
“Is ise still promising you proof of life?” Helene in quires, wrapping her bony arm around my
shoulders.
“Yes.” | utter nkly, “If I’m good.” Of course the problem with this guarantee is that the tyrant gets to
decide what good means, and when he will make good on his word. Every time I ask he says the same
thing: all in good time, pet. “I’ve thought about hypnotizing him to take me to see them, but I” m not
strong enough. It takes all my energy just to keep his lust at bay.” I share.
“You just have to keep taking it one day at a time, and trust fate.” Helene instructs.
“That’s a lot easier said than done.” | grumble. “Fate led us here in the first ce. I can’t just sit back
and let my life fall to pieces around me.”
“That isn’t what I’m suggesting and you know it.” Helene scolds, “People make terrible mistakes when
they second guess the Goddess’s ns. It doesn’t mean you give up or bee passive and just let
the world toss you about, it just means that everything is meant to happen in it’s own time.”
“And if the Goddess intends for me to lose my children?” || growl, “what then?”
“Selene, you must remember that Vnas are the embod iment of the Goddess’s power on earth, she
would never sac rifice them.” Helene reminds me. “You and L are thest sur viving members of her
line. It’s not my ce to assume I know her mind, but if I had to guess, you’re here with ise for a
reason. He’s been hunting her children for far too long, and you have a chance to put a stop to all of
that.”
I take a step back, unused to hearing Helene speak so openly about her divinations. She’s normally
vague and infuri atingly cryptic, but she must think I’m on the edge of giving up to speak so inly.
However, the idea that this might all be in the Goddess’s designs for the survival of my bloodline
doesn’tfort me one bit. “I don’t want to serve some high er purpose.” | snap, “I just want my family
to be whole and safe.”
“I know that, little mother.” Helene murmurs, “but none of you will ever be safe as long as men like
ise are hunting you. If you and your children survive, Vnas might not be an endangered species
in another few centuries. You have to fight for their future.”
“Why did she even create us anyway?” | ask, “I mean what good are we doing by being here? What
use is giving a few women extra powers, especially when it makes them targets for monsters?”
Helene studies me closely, and I can feel her worry as if it’s my own. Even if she wasn’t telegraphing
the emotion to me, her continued presence here would be proof enough. Her vis its to my room are
normally very brief – it is no easy feat for
her to bypass all the guards and secret police to reach me, and if she’s caught all our ns could be at
risk. However here she stands, making no indication of an imminent departure. I must really be going
off the rails.
“I don’t pretend to understand the Goddess’s ways Selene, but I know that the less magic in the world,
the worse off all people will be.” She exins thoughtfully. “If I had to guess I’d say she created
Vnas to be stewards of her light, trusted guardians of the magic which keeps the world turning. Per
haps if you had not been hunted so terribly men like ise would never havee into power,
perhaps shifter societies would be more just. Or maybe not.” She shrugs, “All we can say for sure is
that she must have had her reasons, and that’s good enough for me.”
“Well if she wants me to survive, then why did she do this, why did she allow hunters to be born in the
first ce?” I hiss, feeling more and more angry at our beloved deity. “What kind of god stands by and
lets their creations suffer?”
I have the feeling Helene desperately wants to roll her eyes, after all she’s told me repeatedly she
doesn’t know the Goddess’s mind, yet I cannot quell my outrage. I cannot con tain my fury with the
entire world and everything in it. If suf fering to build character was the idea, have | not suffered
enough? Have I not lost and sacrificed enough to reach this point? Why must | suffer more? Why must
my innocent chil dren suffer?
“Selene, I know you’re angry, and I don’t me you.” He lene confides, “And one day, I hope you find
the answers to your questions. All I can tell you is that the way I see it, benev olent gods grant their
creations free will, because otherwise we would all be prisoners. And these are the consequences –
these are the risks of allowing people to make their own way in the world.”
“So I have to fight ise to take back the freedom that should have been ours in the first ce?” I
demand incredu Tously. “I don’t ept that. I don’t want to fight ise, there has to be another way.” I
speak the words as a cry of dissent, but theye out a plea.
“If you can find another way, I will dly follow you.” He lene vows, “but I cannot see a path that does
not lead to ise.”
“And you cannot be sure if I’ll even seed if I face him?” I press softly.
“No.” She confirms. “I cannot.” She moves forward to take my face between her wrinkled hands, “But I’ll
tell you this much, Selene. If you don’t face him, you will fail. There’s no doubt about it.”