you don’t seem to understand


    what makes us human


    subtle losing


    slow living, closed eyes, reluctant breathing,


    remembered songs. lyrics that say


    i miss------------you don’t seem to understand


    i might hurt you. i might forget why


    i--------don’t want to be here. broken glass in the back


    seat of my car.--------my haven invaded, closed eyes


    slow breaths, shudder,--------kind water of my soul


    wiping eyes---------between traffic lights, between then


    and now,-----------between why and how do I move on?


    head leaning back on black leather, closed eyes,


    slow breathing, slammed fists, screaming, welcome


    to class, glad-----you could join us.-----------head back on white


    Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.


    walls, closed eyes. slow breathing------------i don’t


    want to be here. stranger in a strange land. pretender.


    you’re not the first-------to wear that garment. to don the cloth


    of my wandering attention. to suffer my affection. guilty


    predilection. who would read the under text


    “I’m sorry,” on white paper, scrawled letters, closed


    eyes, slow breathing. heart-----healing interrupted, fantasy


    corrupted by “why,” why. why misunderstanding. why continue


    why-----return to concrete images. i sit in a molested vehicle


    cold unmoving  watching a tree in a place you parked


    once-----at my suggestion-----leaves basking, swaying


    hands in my hair, praying, it worked for your-----blood.-----“promise me”


    works for mine. falling, fading, replaying, until i’m gone, until


    slow breathing---------slow----------slow-------------slow


    until i’m done. hands reaching, fingertips touching-----------dark eternity


    but that’s unfair to you.-------------do you eat?


    are you still walking-----------running--------------climbing-----------trying


    believing------------in the goodness of wo-man-kind---------the self-induced changes


    to brain chemistry---------cold showers-----------morning light--------dopamine


    detox-----------achievement of small victories--------like one more day----alive


    are you still eating? still smiling, still trying---------still---------still-------still


    are you back with your parents in half-mooned, half-listened-to------half-how-did-you


    let this happen again, again? do your friends listen--------------do you speak


    do you eat?------i am losing-------all sense------direction---------may i quit


    at your discretion? you made me promise---------but you don’t seem to understand


    i tried floating in a senseless chamber-------i tried breathing, sweeping my soul


    clean. i bent at the waist and let myself melt into the grass; the grass where


    you studied-------and i distracted you-------and you laughed and we climbed a tree


    and sang taylor swift’s melodies------and i don’t know-----if i can be here anymore


    if i can handle------this promise you made me make-----to myself