I''ve played a few games, to you I regale


    A blunder long past, a truly epic fail


    But first you must know the star of this tale


    Twas session zero, we were starting anew


    The premise this time, we''d soon be a pirate crew


    To fit that mold, our characters we must hew


    It should have been a simple matter, easy enough to do


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    And so a lizardman was made, savage and primal


    We all spawned at the docks making our first arrival


    We''d brave the high seas, through plunder, reaping survival


    The lizard''s player made his first choice, one most final


    "I don''t get on the boat. I shall hold the rudder and float."


    Our DM was new to the role, quiet uncertain still


    But he wanted to try the challenging role to fill


    He lost his nerve to the selfish player of stronger will


    And so the stupid lizard he did not offhandedly kill


    Our ship was attacked by pirates, to no one''s surprise


    We took to the deck and fought with wild eyes


    Except for the lizard, the scrappy jerkass only hides


    And because of his cowardice, a PC swiftly dies


    The battle was won, the pirates repelled


    The survivors were drained, no skill was withheld


    Up the side of the boat the lizard rappelled


    With a rage and a blade, the party he felled


    And so our story ended before it truly begun


    Our characters lived not a single trip of the sun


    With a smug smile, the Lizard boldly states "I won."