1


    Sometimes I feel like a paper boat, a boat made up of paper. A boat that


    started from somewhere but had nowhere to go. It was moving somewhere, but the


    place where it was moving was determined by the sea as it was being wheeled by


    the sea. Sometimes whirling it left sometimes whirling it right sea took full control of


    the voyage.


    The boat lacked weight, it was too light. Being light was the reason for being


    under the control of the sea. Sea was heavy and powerful compared to the boat, and


    the powerful dominating the weaker was the law of nature.


    If only it had some weight on it, the sea could not have total control of it.


    Though he had to be in control of the sea even if it had weight, it could have little


    freedom, it could have resisted some decisions made by the sea like the order to


    turn left or right.


    But having weight will do nothing good to it as it has no purpose. Its existence


    lacked any resolutions. It was not made to solve any problems or create any


    problems like any other things. Most of the other things had some kind of purpose


    behind their creation. But it had no purpose for its existence. It was just made to stay


    in water for some minutes and tear into pieces of that. Its existence had no other


    meaning as it was made to be destroyed.


    “Bro, mom is calling for dinner.” the writer''s brother said standing at the door.


    The writer got up from his desk, crumbled up the paper, and threw it in the dustbin


    which was at the left corner of his room by his bookshelf.


    “Why are you throwing it?” the brother asked.


    “I didn''t like what I wrote.”


    “So, can take it.”


    “You can, but just don''t make a mess.”


    The bro took that paper and strode into his room. In his room, he took out wax


    and melted it, along with melting he was making a paper boat from that paper. He


    had just read the 1st chapter of It from his brother''s bookshelf and a desire to play


    with a paper boat rose in him.


    After the wax was melted he smeared the wax on both sides of the paper


    boat. Carrying that boat he went to the road and left that boat on a small stream


    created by the rainwater. Without stopping a single minute the boat floated on and


    on. The boy got bored and he went home leaving that boat. The boat didn''t stop and


    went into a gutter.


    2


    Like any other day, I am here waiting for a bus. I don''t like school buses as I


    have to move according to the school buses timetable. I used to take the school bus


    when I was in 6th standard during that time I had to get ready and be at the bus


    station exactly at 7 am. Eating breakfast at 6 am, and lunch at 1 pm was hard for me.


    That timetable got hectic for me so, after reaching 8th standard I left the school bus.


    And now at 12th I am here waiting for a local bus. Traveling by a local bus is


    not at all exciting but it is better than the school bus. We can at least follow our


    timetable. Besides the timetable, we can also meet new people and different kinds of


    people on local buses.


    She was also one of the people I met on the local bus. I don''t know her name


    and don''t know where she is from but I know that she is a weird person and she had


    one grandma who died due to negligence of a hospital.


    It was Monday and I was running late for school, on top of that there were


    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.scarcely any buses on road. I hung there for 10 minutes and then a bus came. It was


    a crowded bus and I usually don''t take crowded buses but I was getting late so I took


    that bus and she was there in the last seat, beside her was a balding man.


    At Boudha that balding man got off and I got that seat. We asked a little bit


    about each other and our conversation ended there. After that, I saw her every day


    on the bus, I sat beside her and we used to talk about some random topics, but


    every topic we talked about reached a certain ending. Every day the ending was the


    same. That ending was related to her grandma''s death and she starts crying.


    Once we were talking about the new upcoming movie KGF 2 but after some


    minutes the talk reached her grandma''s death and she began crying.


    “My Grandma got COVID 19 while she was in the village.” She said “We


    brought her here to treat her and admitted her to a hospital. But, the doctors were so


    scared of getting it that they didn''t even see her they just kept her in a room. We


    used to send her food but they never gave her that food on time. After some days of


    keeping her there, she died and we got a phone call from the hospital.” she stopped


    talking and started weeping.


    She once said that she never had a close relationship with her grandma.


    Other cousins of her were close to grandma but she was not. She said she didn''t


    even cry when her grandma but she was never able to explain why her chats


    reaches her grandmother''s death and why she cried after reaching that point.


    Her chat didn''t have a fixed set-out point but, had a fixed reaching point. It


    was just rivers, starting from different mountains but joints in a sea. It might be


    showing that she had some kind of purpose in her life. She had something that she


    wanted to do in her life.


    It was never the same for me. I had a set-out point, but I usually get lost


    mid-way. I didn''t have anything to achieve in my life, I was just moving ahead as my


    mind told me to. I was studying, and working hard but for what I had no idea. I just


    didn''t have any load on me. Having a load may have resulted in some purpose in my


    life, but the load was not there. Not having a load made me feel like I had a void


    inside me. It used to be small when I was small but as I grew the void inside me


    grew with me, consuming everything that was inside me making me an empty shell.


    A shell that was floating traveling in a void like a paper boat floating in an ocean


    which was ought to be destroyed.


    There was a bus in front of me, as I got on the bus my eyes strolled around


    searching for her, but she was not on the bus. I got to the seat where she used to


    seat and sat there. Sitting there made me feel that she would not be here from now


    on. The feeling just came from somewhere inside the void but I knew that it was true.


    I can feel it. It was not that I like her, she used to fill small portions of the void inside


    me. But now she was gone, lost somewhere inside my void. Filling the void absorbed


    her inside that void, making her irretrievably lost.


    3


    The paper boat was in the sea. It somehow was able to reach the sea but, it


    was near its end. Most of the parts were soaked, the pointed part was tattered, and


    the streamlined structure was lost. The wax was somehow able to protect it. But it no


    longer could protect it.


    As it was near its end it reached land. In that land, a lady picked up that boat


    and undid it. The ink was smeared all over the paper, making some letter, combined


    it said thank you.


    “You did a great job,” she said smiling and looking at the paper. “Even though


    you were made to be destroyed.”


    The End