As sung in rowdy taverns across the city of Sonderport


    The Magpie King, the Magpie King


    He flies to all that shines


    He steals the merchants’ golden cups


    And gulps down all their wine


    The merchants high are decked with wealth


    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    With rubies, steel, and gold


    Their doors are locked, their stores are stocked


    With all that they can hold


    But in the night the Magpie stirs


    The thief is far too stealthy


    And nobody can sleep in peace


    As long as they are wealthy


    He picks the locks, he tricks the guards


    He sneaks past hound and sentry


    Not even magic locks prevent


    Our bird from gaining entry


    So, in the night the merchants high


    Will send aloft their prayer


    To have the stealthy Magpie King


    Entrapped in Armstrong’s snare


    Three cheers now for our Magpie King


    They want him apprehended


    He steals from those who rob us blind


    Just as the gods intended