Live Journal Entry: 02.20.2174 | Pursuit Bank, New York


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    Pursuit Bank Employee | Unnervingly Cheery


    Hello, sir! What can Pursuit Bank do for you today?


    Xander Irons


    Oh, today is something quite special, for there is a lot Pursuit will be doing not simply for me, Alexander Irons, but for humanity at large. You see, I have plans - monumental plans, one might say. The real question is, do you have what it takes to meet my company’s needs? To take a bold new step toward the future of mankind, miss...Carol?


    Carol


    Hm?


    Xander Irons


    What?


    Carol


    Was that a question, sir?


    Xander Irons


    About your ability to meet my needs, or the future of mankind?


    Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    Carol?


    My name, sir.


    Xander Irons


    No. Of course not, Cher…yl?


    Carol/Cheryl


    …


    Xander Irons


    …


    Carol/Cheryl


    Well, then what can Pursuit-


    Xander Irons


    Right! Back to it! You see, Carrot, the crucial next step in realizing the ultimate mission of my company, Irons Unlimited, requires funding from your fine establishment.


    Carol/Cheryl/Carrot


    Unfortunately, the loans we offer don’t include funding for “monumental” ventures or “ultimate” missions at this time. We’re a fairly small branch.


    Xander Irons


    What? I-I just...right. I require a small business loan.


    Carol/Cheryl/Carrot


    Wonderful! What is the purpose of your loan?


    Xander Irons


    Do you remember that ancient social media platform, Zuckface?


    Carol/Cheryl/Carrot


    Sir, did you mean to say Face-


    Xander Irons


    WELL guess who bought the rights to their platform and data, but couldn’t quite afford the trademark!


    Carol/Cheryl/Carrot


    Was it y-


    Xander Irons


    Me. It was me. I bought them.


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