As Miss. South Carolina crept onto the stage, sweaty hands clutched too tight around her microphone, the cameramen fell silent and the stage lights dimmed. The announcer introduced the first contestant, and so began the first tale of the evening.


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    Hands shaking, she passed the mike to the announcer and speed-walked off-stage. "This has to be a joke," whimpered the oldest producer, head in his hands.


    But it was as serious as his corporate future, and the next contestant was already walking onstage.