Pax


    I am falling, falling, falling.


    It is black and dark and I can''t see, I can''t think, I can''t feel. But that''s how I like it. If I can''t feel, then nothing hurts. So I keep it that way.


    If I wake, I drink myself back to sleep with a Xanax chaser. It isn''t long before I''m in the black again, drifting pointlessly along, sleeping without nightmares.


    Only blackness.


    I sigh. This is where I belong, where the dark is timeless.


    Painless.


    The light is painful. The light is where I see her face and know how I failed her.


    I''ll stay far away from the light.


    Forever.


    It isn''t worth it.


    I start to close my eyes but realize that they are already closed, so I smile.


    This is where I belong.