As the music stops, nobody moves for a beat or two. Then, a random Jacques jumps out of the crowd and punches Wonderman’s back. Wonderman doesn’t seem to notice as the attack hits, standing in his heroic pose as the Jacques attempts to strike down the hero.
Citizen
Um. Wonderman?
Wonderman
Yes, random citizen?
As Wonderman answers, he turns to make eye contact with the citizen. The Jacques tries another punch, but Wonderman’s shoulder collides with the minion. The Jacques flies backward, windmilling off stage. The sounds of clattering debris sound. The Jacques walks back in, his outfit in tatters and his fake mask hanging off one ear.
Citizen
Nevermind.
Sweet Dream
Great, of all the people to show up.
Wonderman
No worries, miss! While I’ve been told my presence has a certain effect on women, I am devoted to one lady only!
Wonderman whips out a framed photo of his love interest and sighs dreamily.
Citizens
Oh, he’s such a hunk!
Sweet Dream gags.
Dr. Zlo steps forward with a sneer.
Dr. Zlo
Wonderman! I should have known you would arrive to spoil my party!
Wonderman whips around, his fists at the ready.
Wonderman
And Dr. Zlo! I should have pegged you as the mastermind of this devious plot when I heard about the missing ice cream trucks!
Dr. Zlo
Ah, but you didn’t! And now I, Dr. Zlo! Will abscond with my bounty! Come, minions!
Sweet Dream
Ahem!
Dr. Zlo
Rolling his eyes. And associates most foul.
Sweet Dream nods.
Wonderman
Not so fast, Dr. Zlo! You won’t get past me and my Wonderguard!
Wonderman poses, flexing his biceps to form a shimmering rainbow shield in front of him. (again, those not blessed with superpowers or money should make do with a painted rainbow shield falling from the rafters.)
Dr. Zlo
You do realize, Wonderman, that we can fly?
Dr. Zlo takes off with his rocket boots (or on wires) while Eville turns the money into a shimmering cloud that she and Sweet Dream sit on. (The less fortunate can use a green hammock suspended by wires or Jacques.) The three take off, trying to fly over Wonderman.
Wonderman
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Hold it right there, evildoers! Face the might of my Wonderbreath!
Wonderman inhales, sucking with enough force to pull the three miscreants back to him. They topple over in a heap, Dr. Zlo somehow on top. Eville’s power breaks, spilling the money all over the floor.
Civilians
Three cheers for Wonderman!
The crowd cheers, and Wonderman turns to wave in appreciation. The villains untangle themselves while he’s distracted and huddle together.
Dr. Zlo
We need a plan.
Sweet Dream
Really? What gave you that idea?
Dr. Zlo
How was I supposed to know Wonderman would show up?
Sweet Dream
Anyone. Anyone would know that when you missed the giant red button sitting on the bank counter!
Dr. Zlo
It wasn’t there the first time! I blame the universe. It can’t handle a Dr. Zlo that succeeds.
Eville
What if I turned the street into gas, and we escaped through the sewers?
Dr. Zlo
Egads, no! I’ve gone through enough sewers to last a lifetime.
Sweet Dream
I hate to agree with him, but I do.
Eville
Well, then how about I distract Wonderman with my feminine wiles?
Sweet Dream
Weren’t you paying attention when he pulled out that picture of his lady love?
Eville
I was mostly paying attention to those pecs.
Dr. Zlo
Quiet! I have a plan!
The three villain’s voices lower, leaving only whispers for a few seconds.
Sweet Dream
You know what. I like it.
Eville
It’s sneaky!
Dr. Zlo
And it’s going to work!
The three villains break from their huddle and turn back to Wonderman, who now has a Jacques hanging on each arm like children playing on a jungle gym.
Dr. Zlo
Alright then, Wonderman! Since we can’t go past you, we’ll just go through you!
Dr. Zlo cackles and fires his laser. Wonderman drops the two Jacques and brings his Wondershield up to block. A bright flash of light followed by darkness gives the actors a chance to set up. When the lights come back on, Dr. Zlo and Wonderman are fighting cane to fist while Sweet Dream and Eville collect the money.
Wonderman
As he strikes at Dr. Zlo. Haha! Take that, fiend!
Dr. Zlo ripostes and follows through with a jab of his cane.
Dr. Zlo
Flattery will get you nowhere, Wonderman!
The two continue for a bit longer with many ‘hohos’ and ‘have at yous.’ Sweet Dream and Eville finish up and turn to Wonderman.
Eville
Do we really need to break this up? Dr. Zlo looks like he’s having so much fun.
Sweet Dream
Yes. I’m not wasting another minute listening to these two banter. There’s no imagination.
Sweet Dream jumps into the fight, transforming into chocolate. Eville follows in the villainess''s wake, her hands up and ready. Wonderman quickly jumps back from Sweet Dream’s swiping arms, posing in the air.
Wonderman
Have a taste of my Wonderwhirl!
Wonderman spins in place, shooting miniature tornadoes from his body at Sweet Dream. The villainess is knocked back off stage, her chocolate splattering across the audience. (Actually brown cotton to make sure those with allergies aren’t affected.) Eville chooses that moment to use her power, turning the air and water around Wonderman solid. (Don’t ask me how to make this work; I think I’ve done enough explaining.)
Wonderman
Struggling to break free. Ugh, agh! What malign machinations are these!
Dr. Zlo
This, Wonderman, is a trap! My partner Eville here can change the state of matter! So while you were preoccupied with us, Eville prepared the trap!
Wonderman
You... vile fiend! Don’t think you can get away with this!
Dr. Zlo
Oh, but I will! Soon, I will be off with the bank''s money, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!
Wonderman
How dare you run off with the people’s hard-earned money, villain! No doubt to use in some dastardly scheme!
Dr. Zlo
But of course! What else is money for?
Civilian
I find it useful to pay the bills!
Another Civilian
And for a nice meal every once in a while!
Another, another civilian
Personally, I’m partial to gambling it all away on the blockchain.
Dr. Zlo blasts the last civilian with his laser.
Dr. Zlo
The blockchain is a perfectly reasonable evil scheme. One that I might use in the future! But no, this new capital will be used to fund my next venture!
Wonderman
You’ll never get away with it! Whatever it is!
Dr. Zlo smiles.
Dr. Zlo
Curious, are we?
Sweet Dream finally recovers from Wonderman’s attack, crawling back up on stage to stand next to Dr. Zlo.
Sweet Dream
Do not, under any circumstances, explain your plan to him.
Dr. Zlo looks put upon.
Dr. Zlo
But Sweet Dream! The man’s questioning my genius! I can see it in his smug little face!
Sweet Dream throws her hands in the air.
Sweet Dream
Fine! Do what you want. I’m taking my share of the cash.
Sweet Dream walks over to Eville and holds out a hand. Eville hands a pile of money over after turning it back to a solid, which Sweet Dream promptly stores.
Sweet Dream
Come get me when it all goes wrong, okay?
Sweet Dream exits, leaving Dr. Zlo to monologue over Wonderman.