Chapter 96: Don''t


    I crawl backwards, trembling in instant fear, because I know this is a matter of fight or die and I need to


    be stronger than I was ten minutes ago. He almost ended me so easily with one swipe that it’s pathetic.


    Call myself Luna? I’m aplete failure.


    I need to get my head together and outsmart him while my body tries to heal, give myself time to power


    up. I steady my breathing, willing all the energy I can muster up to save me from him, and homing in on


    the part of me I rarely have to use. It just means he has to get really close for me to absorb what he


    has when I’m this low, to draw from his strength instead of my own and it may be more useful than


    energy balls which seem to be failing me.


    Colton’s fast, even by Lychan standards, and I get up in a dash, to backwards run an in attempt to coax


    him to me and almost get decapitated in the process as a new wed paw tries to take my head off.


    I don’t think so, bitch!!


    Carmen’s sassy voice in the link rings through my head, that superior tone that I used to hate, but now I


    sort of love, as shees down over the top of me, seemingly from thin air and drags it with her in a


    tumbling roll sideways. Taking the male down with a swoop and aggressive snatch at his head. I catch


    sight of Colton shing towards me, visually targeting his prey and that look of determined malice


    makes my blood run cold. I just need a second of his touch, brief contact, enough to feel his gifts


    surging and then I’ll be able to deflect them. He pushes through the battling bodies between us,


    seemingly slowing and taking his time to savor the fact I’m no longer running and instead intent on


    letting him get to me. Heart pounding behind my ribcage like a war drum, and body trembling with both


    lack of blood and the icy swell of terror.


    I turn my body so that if he catches me again with his w the injury will be less devastating and in a


    ce that won’t make me bleed out in seconds. I tense and brace myself for the impact I know will


    come and close my eyes for a second to will up the internal energy to somehow do this. Sierra wasN?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content.


    right, the blood loss isn’t rectified, and I can barely pull myself around with efficiency, let alone take on


    a wolf like him.


    I fall backwards with a strangled cry of surprise as the expected full weight of my mate tears down on


    me like a savage. Taking me from behind in a rugby tackle and throwing us both out of the arc of the


    ditch where I was shielding. He seemed to have meant to plough through me so I would end up


    sttered to the floor under him, but his sheer size ends up being a softer cushion and dampener for


    me as a human and his arms under my back take the full brunt of our fall. We sort of tuck and tumble


    as we scramble together, molded into one body as I hold on to protect myself.


    I end up curled against his chest, clinging on for a moment with sheer desperation as we roll through


    the dirt and somehow collide with a huge rock sitting proud from forest floor which thuds us to a halt.


    His spine meets cold grey matter with a sickening thwack, and it’s enough to crumble the entire side


    away, rendering him momentarily stunned as he grunts in pain from sheer impact. His arms sy out,


    releasing me from his cloying hold and it’s all the time I need to feed from his strength, his speed. His


    fierce being drawn into me as I absorb everything I can with our physical meshing together. I can feel it,


    like the inhaling of smoke from the air, into my lungs and through my veins, only it’s Colton’s essence I


    seem to be drawing out.


    I panic as my wolf self almost rips control from me with the intensity of his powers, riling her into action


    and eager to be free to protect me. I have to grapple to stay human with all I have inside, but with his


    matching strength I soar suddenly with new life and find the power to jump to my feet as he does. I


    grab his wrist as he goes for me, twist it back and deflect every swipe and punch and thrust that reigns


    towards me with blink speed reaction, thwarting every move. Colton roars in anger at my newfound


    skill, somehow manages to leg swipe my with one of his huge paws as we both crash to the ground


    once more. I tuck myself inwards to protect my abdomen, twisting away from him to avoid his weight on


    me again, but he catches my around the leg, his ws curling around my narrow limb rather than


    piercing me. I yank and pull, attempting to keepshing at him, while avoiding his razor-sharp weapons


    as we roll around in the dirt and collect debris and gravel as we maneuver into wrestle hold rather than


    blows.


    I’m faster this way and he gets angry as hell as I block the blows, hold off the attempts to bite and


    maim, and seem to sessfully hold my own for as long as I can. It would be easier as a wolf, so


    much easier, but I’m aware the whole time of the two life forces I’m protecting in my body and I’m


    careful with every duck, hit and lurch to keep that part of me shielded, beneath the metal panel and free


    from impact. Thanking god the armor saves me from bumps and scrapes more than I thought it would.


    It may not withstand Lychan impaling, but the natural world is a little less able to prate it.


    I hear the faint howls and the ongoing noises of battles around us, catch sight of Carmen still throwing


    around the brown wolf she saved me from, but Sierra is out of sight. Probably fighting her own little war


    as we all aim to get through this alive. Even with our numbers, we’re barely keeping even with the


    strongest of our pack and many are failing. They have more skill and speed; more battle experience


    and I already know so many of ours have passed at their hands.


    A blood curling howl tears me from my focus, stunning my brain as a throbbing pain rips through my


    body and renders mepletely useless. Clutching my head and ears and crying out in despair at the


    cruel invasion, while it feels like my entire brain wants to self-implode. It’s Carmen, it has to be, and


    she’s using her own weapon to fight back where I guess she too is struggling to stay in control. Giving


    the pack an instant head bashing and a few minutes of disorientation and bleeding eardrums.


    I’m momentarily disabled from the shock attack and crumble to the ground with a gasp and shudder,


    hitting the floor like a sack of rubble. Only, so does Colton, also unable to defend himself against her


    unique power and we fall apart, groaning as ache from a wound we didn’t inflict on one another make


    us crumble and moan. There’s a new wave of warmth and pain spearing through my central body as


    the sound ebbs away and my ears start ringing, but it’s nowhere near the intensity of this instant


    stabbing.


    I can’t seem to catch my breath with its appearance, and I sy my hands out to scramble across the


    dirt as I waiver with disorientation. I try to block out the pulsating boom of stunned hearing as I attempt


    to pull oxygen from around me. I battle to fill my lungs, choking intensifying and unable to breathe at all


    while a heavy weight, crushing my ribs and sudden tearing slicing, reverberates through my upper


    body. It feels like Colton impaled me, but he’s still strewn nearby and suffering a simr fate, so it can’t


    be him.


    Panic floods me, that the inability to inhale is worse than Carmen’s head puncturing and I don’t know


    what’s happening. I’m aware Colton is writhing mere feet beside me, clutching his his ribs too, but my


    entire focus is on the slow suffocation as I grasp at my chest and w at my throat to try and gain


    oxygen. Confused, inner chaos growing, as I open my mouth wide, gulping, but yet get nothing. My


    eyes water profusely, open wide as I blink in terror, and that’s when I see it.


    Sierra, at a distance of maybe twenty feet from me, across my field of vision. She’s impaled on long


    sharp ws at the core of her body, right at the point where mine is failing. She’s held in midair as she


    scrambles to fight back limply and unhook herself from a grey male’s torturous hold and seems to be


    whimpering in agony. He stumbles to one knee, shaking his head as though trying to drown out and


    recover from the now quiet Carmen’s aftereffects, but doesn’t release Sierra from his grip.


    Carmen…. It’s Sierra!!! I shriek out in the link, moving to make to go to her, but falling down as myck


    of air pushes me to instant ck vision. I lift my chin weakly, focusing as best I can through the blur,


    more concerned for her in this moment and silent sob out in relief as a flying wolf hauls her out of the


    death hold she’s in. It drags her backwards, yanking the ws from her lungs as they fall into the


    undergrowth and almost instantly my own inte in response. Relief and oxygen swelling inside my


    body so that it makes me lightheaded and I slump again as my lungs finally work.


    Our life bond means her pain when close to death is my pain, and it seems to still link to Colton even if


    he is under a spell. He stops clutching and gasping in the same way I was, indicating he too has been


    released and I know that means nothing good for me. I force myself to get up, on shaking limbs, slowly


    with determination to face him, knowing recovery of us both will be rapid as Sierra heals in the blink of


    an eye. I hold my ground, fixated on his huge body, as he rolls to his upright position with an easy


    move and locks ck soulless eyes back on me. Without an ounce of hesitation, no dy, hees at


    me again, full fury and ready for round two.


    He moves like a steam train on rocket fuel. His ws sying towards my shoulders, tackling me


    bodily once more even though I try to dodge with a jump. He flings me backwards with the impact, but I


    roll onto my shoulder des as I meet dirt and push both my feet into his abdomen as we fall. I thrust


    him up hard and over the top of me, in a move he taught me, with a little effort and a huge amount of


    momentum. Letting go as he goes flying further into the woods with a crashing roar.


    He spins on the ground as he collides,es right back like a boomerang, andunches himself at my


    laid down posture as I move. He misses me by a hair’s breadth, crashing onto my vacant spot and


    tumbling over like a clumsy oaf who’s too fueled with fury to control his reflexes. I dodge as he swiftly


    follows me with a w swipe, and I manage to push his wrist away at thest second. I have to


    counteract his jawing in to take a bite at my face as he follows through and end up thrusting my


    head down and sucker punching him in the belly with the t of my palm. A sudden energy boost giving


    me oomph and he staggers back with the blow.


    “Colton, are you really this stupid?” I spit at his face while he attempts to right his footing and gives me


    a second to breathe. “If I die, so do you, you utter Moron!” I thrust a knee into his groin with a crunch


    when he flies back into me, my confidence growing with the use of his own strength on my side,


    knowing that even in wolf form that’s still a sensitive area. There’s a grunt as knee bone ttens wolf


    bone; an instant as his body shudders and crumples a little, and I have to duck when he almost takes


    my head off for it in howling agony.


    His roar of frustration that I wounded him there, that I’m matched in every way, fuels his rage and I pull


    backwards with a slight limp because of my now bruised kneecap. It was so worth it though, even if it


    might mean our twins don’t get more siblings in the future.


    I grit my teeth, show my fierce, and using a throw he taught me yet again, by wedging my butt as I


    swiftly turn in his abdomen, grabbing his upper arm, I throw him right over me in a forward flip. I toss


    him several feet with the exertion of using what I’m absorbing by touch, then jump to straighten to meet


    him face on when he recovers his standing. I can feel my energy building again, although it seems my


    vampire gifts are the ones weakened by my blood loss now, while the wolf and her ability to absorb are


    still going strong. It makes no sense, but I’m d a part of me is still in this fight, even if I am stealing


    my mate’s abilities. Colton would tell me to do this, and I know when we break this curse, he’ll be


    thankful that I could use his own alpha power against him.


    Carmen shes into sight from the left seemingly she finally shook off the wolf she had been battling


    and goes straight for Colton’s face, side on, taking him down to the left with her and they roll away from


    my sight under bushes and roughage. I make a move to help her but I’m held still with a sudden gentle


    touch on my back.


    Come… Meadow and Leyanne will be at the mountain by now, we’re barley holding on here, we need


    to get you out of the thick of it. Colton’s too strong and you’re not going to maintain this energy.


    Sierra’s voice floors me as she jumps in front of me and tries to trip me over onto her back the way


    Carmen did earlier, but I stand my ground. I know she means well, and she thinks that now I’ve proven


    myself, I should retreat and stay safe. That’s not how this works.


    “No. No other wolf can match Colton, and I won’t let someone die trying… he’s mine! I have to keep his


    focus on me. Carmen won’t be able to hold him.” He’s my mate, my responsibility and he would


    annihte any other in the pack without breaking a sweat.


    Carmen yelps out in a ringing st as if proving my point, her whimper echoing from nearby and I turn


    in time to see her being tossed thirty feet in the air, like a ragdoll with no weight to her. Shees


    down to earth with a bone shattering thud, a slight tremble of the ground beneath my feet, which leaves


    her panting and whimpering, as internally things crunch and grind as her body starts to insta-heal.


    Unlike before when Colton’s attention always came back at me, this time he turns and heads to her for


    a second blow, before she’s had time to recover. My stomach lurches into my throat, knowing the killing


    intent across his face and herck of seconds to get herself up.


    I fly forward without hesitation. I run, at full speed at the back of him and throw myself onto his back as


    he rears back to deliver a smack to Carmen’s exposed underside, while her body tries to repair broken


    bones. It would be a death blow in her state of vulnerable and she wouldn’t stand a chance.


    I grab him around the head, pulling his jaw left and dodge his ws as he grapples, reaching back to


    dislodge me, to no avail. Sierra works with me, and swipes under his legs with a fast maneuver that


    brings him down backwards, almost on top of me. At thest second, I let go and leap away, so his


    crushing weight misses me or else I’d be squashed. I’m not fast enough to escape though, as he


    catches hold of my left ankle and yanks me back brutally. He digs his ws into bone and flesh on one


    of the smallest parts of my body, following with a crushing snap of searing splice that makes me cry out


    in wailing pain.


    I turn impulsively, shocked into retaliation by the instant agony and hit him full on with a powerful ball of


    energy. I get him right in the face, smack, and it sends him rolling away, releasing my broken and


    shed ankle as I crawl away as fast as I can for Sierra. Aiming for her healing help as she closes the


    gap between us once more.


    This is not a n…. this is not a n. This is barely keeping our shit together.


    Her panicked ramblinges at me in repeated mumbles as she quickly, hands on, tries to heal me as


    she turns human again. Only too aware he’s getting up and alreadying for us. Her anxiety rising in


    time with mine and the sense of urgency bes almost hysterical in its weight around us.


    “No, it’s not….. I don’t know what else to do but keep his focus. We have to give the witch time.” I


    compel her, hands up in bewilderment of ‘what else can we do?


    She heals me only seconds before I dodge out of the way, instinct kicking in, his ws miss both her


    and I, as she turns and leaps back. I know this isn’t working. Colton is hard on any day of the week to


    defeat and even with my gifts, I’ve never actually overpowered him when he wanted to fight back. He’s


    never actually properly intended to win anytime he trained me and always held back and tried not to


    hurt me. It’s bing pretty obvious that the advantage in that was what made me think I could


    always kick his ass.


    Like this, with no holding back, I’m barely keeping up and I squeal mid run as my hair is caught from


    behind me with a brutal tug of ripping roots. I’m dragged backward while distracted by my own stupid


    thoughts. Panic searing through me that I so easily got myself captured but followed by relief when I


    realize it’s not Colton


    Sorry, I didn’t know what else to grab.


    Carmen growls through the link, releasing my chunk of hair from her mouth as she lets me loose. Right


    away I see she saved me from a lunge of another wolf who had tried his luck going for me. One who


    has gone crashing right into Sierra’s angry thrust. She head butts him low and then tosses him


    backwards over her body with little effort and sends him rolling into the forest behind with a crash.


    What the hell is taking so long with the witch? It feels like it’s been hours already.


    Carmen snorts, pulling my mind away from her question by pushing me full force, back, as two wolves


    dive over us idently when clearing the log and don’t see us at all. I realize they are being pursued


    by enchanted wolves and heading into the mini battle that’s pulled Colton away from us while he deals


    with a group of protectivend wolves. This is chaos and the only way to tell who is who is by looking at


    their eyes. Only Colton is an obvious target as he stands huge and foreboding with being the only ck


    male among us.


    “Where is he?” I nche, my eyes scanning our surroundings when I stray back to arm myself to take


    him on again and I realize Colton isn’t here anymore. In the blink of an eye, he seems to have


    disappeared into thin air and it kicks my manic panic button into fury.


    I span the circle around us, a flurry of worry and anticipation spiking inside of me, dodging another fly


    attack from a brown wolf that Carmen flips on its side and tosses backwards. My panic rises further,


    and I spin around, visually raking every space in front of us. I know I can’t let him out of my sight, I can’t


    lose the one person who may have ability to chase the witch down.


    I take in the trees, the bushes, the rocks, and all around us, frantically searching for a sign, in an effort


    to locate him then weaken instantly, blood draining from my face when I spot what I seek. Twenty feet


    to our left, almost concealed by a thick tree trunk. He’s holding up a smaller, grey wolf, by the throat,


    his teeth close to their jugr in a threatening manner and about a second away from tearing it out.


    There’s no mistaking that’s his intent.


    NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!


    My ears almost explode, and I swear my heart erupts in my rib cage as though it alreadybusted as


    I crumble to the ground, grasping the agonizing pain in my skull as even my vision begins to vibrate. I


    forgot how painful Carmen’s scream could be, guessing earlier she had gone lightly, and by god it’s so


    much worse when her emotions kick in.


    I feel like my eardrums are bleeding as I force myself to clutch my ears and struggle to look up to see


    Colton has dropped his prey long enough for it to crawl away. Every single wolf around us is cowering


    in pain, at the god-awful noiseing from that girl. It’s effective to say the least but it’s really not


    directional and all of us are being wounded in a bid to save one.


    If I thought I could deal with this pain for the long term, it would be a great weapon in keeping everyone


    here from killing each other, but as soon as it’s stretched into long seconds, my vision begins to blur


    and cken and the pain in my head threatens to knock me out. It’s that moment before ss shatters


    with high frequency, and even though I know she isn’t trying to hurt me, my nose starts to flood and a


    trickle of blood runs over my top lip.


    Thankfully she stops. Before my mind and heart give out, but I’m left with a woozy sensation and all my


    senses seemed to be knocked sideways and I’m back to dizzy and disorientated. Feeling surreal, like


    I’m caught in a dream where this isn’t happening in reality. I impulsively lift my hands to the wet warmth


    rolling over my mouth, knowing it’s blood but startled to find it’s alsoing from my ears as it makes


    way down my neck. I shover with the sudden dampening on the clothes inside my body shield aware


    Carmen has ruptured something.


    Oh my god. I’m sorry.


    Her voicees at me but I shake my head and push away the furry body that moves to help hold me


    up, suddenly attentive to my fragile movements.


    “I’m fine, it’s okay.” I soothe, my voice sounding alien and detached from my own head and fake a


    show of stability. Pushing myself to my feet and ignoring the sway of my limbs.


    I’m too weak like this, too vulnerable and I can’t keep screaming on Sierra to heal me every five


    minutes.


    Talking of which I stagger on my feet, trying to pull my brain back together and click on the fact I can’t


    see her. Carmen is between Colton and I, as he’s now also heading this way and other wolves roll into


    view too. They seem to distract him long enough that Carmen pushes me bodily backwards, so we fall


    into a gulley, nked by fallen logs and I copse in a hazy mess with the sudden vertigo of her fast


    shove.


    Shit. I didn’t think … I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I forgot that humans can’t take it for long and


    that you can’t heal…. I’ll find Sierra, she was there a second ago…. Hide, stay low. Don’t move while I


    get her. Carmen’s panicking, appraising my face and the continued blood flow down my mouth and


    from my inner ears. The rising sickening nausea in my body has all my senses swirling, and I feel like


    I’ve had a blow to the head. I can’t see straight, the ground waving up and down and little stars of


    glittering lights start coloring my vision. I’m in a bad way, just from a sound.


    “No, it’s okay, I’m just dizzy… I’m good.” I lie to her, feeling worse than I want to admit but I can still get


    up and still fight if I take a moment. I don’t want her to me herself for anything more in this life than


    she already does, and I don’t want to prove Meadow right in being the useless deadweight in this.


    I pull myself to my knees and then gasp, painful inhtion, and grunt, as I’m winded by a backward


    kick to the head that sends me reeling as a wolf jumping over knocks me for six and fastens onto


    Carmen with a ferocious bite. We didn’t see theming.


    She howls out in rage, and pain, and ws at ittched onto her back, trying to dislodge it as I muster


    enough energy to help. I throw thest ball of pure energy I can pull together, and it sends it cascading


    off into a groaning heap, mere feet away. It’s long enough for Carmen to get the better of it and she


    hauls it across the leaf strewn basin and throws it hard, and furiously, out of our hideaway.


    We have to move. Now!


    She catches my arm in her mouth, thatmanding snidey tone on show once more, and tugs me


    hard as she can to get me going. I know she wants to put distance between me and Colton and I don’t


    me her for choosing me over the n.


    It’s only then, when I have to fight gravity and momentum of moving, that it dawns on me I’m doing so


    much worse than I thought. My vision is all over the ce, and I’m struggling to walk straight, my head


    spinning. I stumble and fall onto all fours after only a few steps forward, letting out an exasperated


    noise, unable to hide how much I’m suffering. Carmen hesitates, looks out into the chaos and seems to


    struggle to decide what to do.


    I’ll find Sierra, stay. Look, behind you, in the log. Get in andy down. Hide. I’ll be fast, please…I beg of


    you…stay concealed.


    This time I don’t argue. I know this is bad and I’m losing use of my limbs and even the sensation of my


    fingers and toes. I can hear a soft high pitch tone rattling inside my brain and the bleeding hasn’t eased


    up at all. My head’s aching, my sight’spletely out of whack and I know something is really wrong


    with my mind. My wolf is writhing and whining to let here out to help me and I have to grip on with


    every ounce of willpower to stop the self-preservation kicking in to make me turn. It’s a battle in itself


    and it drains me as fast as this new injury is doing.


    Despite the sun rising high enough to warm my bones there’s a coldness seeping through me as I


    struggle to take control, and I barely manage to crawl into a fallen log Carmen guides me to. I feel like a


    coward having to hide but I have no choice. The witch was right and like this I’m weak, no match for a


    wolf, especially not Colton.


    I either have to ept fate and lose the lives within to save my pack, live on to keep fighting for them,


    or sumb to the fact that I can’t do this, and I need to retreat and hide to save my children. My pack


    or my babies…. that’s what thises down to and I can’t choose to let go of my own blood.


    My heart breaks open and the internal wracking guilt gnaws at my sanity. I’m instantly so consumed


    with sudden grief that when I slump into my hiding ce, failing to check around me before seeing


    Carmen shoot off in pursuit of my healing mother-inw. My entire focus on the damp earth under my


    t palms, as Iy on my front and shallowly breath through the mist of my own broken eyesight.


    The log is ripped from around me, so sudden, like the blink of an eye that I can’t react. I grip the fallen


    debris below my fingers in haste to cling on, as I’m trundled out like a floppy rag onto the ground into a


    disheveled heap and discarded. The huge ck silhouette of my worst nightmare, and best dream,


    towers over me and snarls in satisfaction that he found his prey once more. I lift my frail hand in an


    attempt to muster what power I have left and it dies on mepletely, ebbing away like a flickering


    me that’s been caught in an airless room.


    I’m seeing two of him, my head aching, my throat dry and my limbs no longer functioning. Heaped in an


    awkward position on uneven ground, because I’m so fatigued, I can’t move myself. My gift even as a


    wolf has given up on me, the will to turn is all that ws inside, and I need to choose how this goes.


    Save myself…. Kill them.


    Let him take me, we die anyway and yet the pack may yet survive.


    Could I live on with the knowledge I took my babies lives? Could I look him in the eye and watch him


    destroy himself with the guilt that he did this, when the spell finally breaks.


    No. I can’t. I’d rather die than live with his pain, and mine, and the loss of them.


    Colton lifts me up by the throat, choking me with his sheer pulsating strength, even without gripping


    hard, pulling my lifeless form to him as though I’m a mere scrap of rubbish. My eyes mist over as


    emotions consume me and I stare helplessly into the dead and empty eyes of the man I love more than


    anything in the world. It’s his body, his wolf, but he’s not in there anymore and nothing I do will change


    it. Physically he’s hurting me as he presses just a little, but emotionally he’s destroying thest ounces


    of my soul and I begin to sob like a broken child. Pain coursing through every nerve ending.


    I know this is it…. My life, or theirs, and the way this is looking, they will die anyway if I don’t turn.


    Because Colton isn’t about to stop. My wolf can’t defeat him either. I have to face the reality of this.


    I weakly grab at his wrists, hating his familiar warmth, the feel of his fur and the expanse of muscle


    beneath. Aching and yearning for him, while being petrified of who he is in front of me. It’s like he


    senses I have nothing left to fight with and that snarl turns to a toothy smug growl, showing his


    satisfaction that I’m not fighting him anymore. He takes pleasure from seeing my tears, mingled with


    my own blood, spreading across my mouth and chin and the pitiful sodden expression of lost hope.


    Colton, please…. It’s me… Lorey…. Your mate. Don’t.” I know begging is futile, but my body is too


    weak to try, my heart refuses to give up on him and as he starts to choke the life out of me a little more,


    he holds me up to admire what he’s about to kill. My voice is all I have left, even while the ws


    constrict around my neck, closing my airways and disable my ability to breath. I grasp at his fingers


    with both hands, to try and hold him back and gasp when he tightens with a flex, to show how easy this


    will be.


    There’s nothing behind those eyes, no life, no acknowledgement of who I am, and I pull everything in


    me to try and deflect onest time, only managing a slight push of air at his face which barely moves


    him at all. He seems amused by it, my feeble attempts, and drops me in a heap on the ground as


    though mocking me by dying the urge to end me. My body drops, bashing rocks and sticks scattered


    across the ground as I slump into uselessness submission. I’ve never been so ashamed of myself.


    I killed a bear on my own for gods’ sakes…. It’s not a hard choice. Turn and live, turn and fight him.


    Turn and live with knowing I ended the life of our children before they even had a chance to exist. I just


    need to let go of them, to save my people, just be brave, be a Luna, and maybe one day, we can try


    again. Once hees back to me…once…… once……


    “I can’t do it!” I cry out in anguish; loud and hoarse as it burns my throat and my soul screams in pain.


    Sobbing his way with a broken expression, focused on his empty eyes, even though he has no idea


    what I’m talking about. I wail in broken despair, pushing myself down to facepalm the earth, burying my


    face in the rotting leaves of the dirty musky soil. I know he’s standing over me, toying with his little


    mouse, and enjoying the slow build to killing me but it feels like I’m already dead inside.


    The only way I would stand a chance with him is as a wolf. And it’s the one option I refuse to take.


    I can’t save myself and end them, even if he kills us all. My wolf isn’t even trying to save me anymore,


    because she too knows that saving me will kill me in other ways. I’ll never recover mentally,


    emotionally, if I make that choice to put my life over theirs. I’m their mother, I can’t be the one to choose


    to discard them. They’re innocent and they never asked me to be created. They’re the product of our


    love, our bond, our time together, and I won’t be able to ever look him in the face again if I lose them to


    save him.


    I love them both already. As much as I love him. Maybe more.


    My wolf, it’s like her instinct to keep me alive has disconnected too and is in there with them, hoping


    she can keep them safe instead of me. She’s as torn as I and no longer is my survival, my safety, her


    priority in this fight.


    His hot breath and panting raspy heat hits me right by my ear as he bends low and growls into the left


    side of my head. My body goosebumping all over as a cold wave turns my skin to ice. I freeze, holding


    my breath and tremble at his sudden proximity, still affected by him but with a growing fear. There’s a


    moment of still, a slight silent pause, where I actually wonder if maybe he’s doubting the instinct to


    deliver the final blow and stupidly for a moment think he won’t do it. Maybe there’s an ounce of him still


    inside his body, who’s fighting to save me too. I grasp onto that tiny inkling of hope, that our love is


    stronger than a spell.


    I’m wrong


    Colton thrusts a wed clenched grab into my right shoulder with a fierce impale, tossing me aside,


    and sends me sying back ten feet with the impact. I fly through the air, everything slowing down into


    surreal disbelief and any chance of finding my strength evades me. He sends my lifeless body into the


    trees without a way to shield myself, so I’m hammered by the impact, with a crunch, and cracking. My


    ribs shatter in the process, piercing soft flesh, and pulsing vitality, behind my armor. I can’t even cry out;


    such is the massive blow to my body, the immense scourge of immense hurt, which stuns me into


    numb uselessness.


    My body te is dented and warped, as I slide down from mid-way up the trunk, and crumple into a


    broken mess, at the base of a shadow oak tree that broke my flight. Crunching my splintered body into


    agonizing pain, the collision into hard wood haspletely knocked the wind out of me. Iy in a


    mangled heap and grasp for air, mouth opening and body trying, but I’m like a fish out of water.


    Unable to do anything at all except whine under my breath, and w weakly at the dirt around me,


    trying like crazy to inte my lungs even an inch. My shoulder’s wet from a severe set of puncture


    wounds that extend up onto the side of my neck, and I know it’s probably my jugr that’s making the


    flow so intense. The throbbinging from there, in time to my low and weak heartbeat, pulsing out


    my blood with every thud.


    I’m bleeding fast and hard and have another two w marks across my arm where he must have cut


    me with his throwing blow. I raise my head with all I have left and catch sight of him walking to me,


    slowly, predator like, while my blood drips from his paw and ws like a red beacon that signals his


    betrayal.


    As he gets within a foot of me, my eyes fall down and level with the huge, wed feeting to my


    face. I don’t know why, but he chooses this moment to turn semi human and the sudden sight of that


    tanned skin on normal feet, and strong legs, , standing so close, gives me the energy to take onest


    look at him, A slight hope that Leyanne has won and maybe he’s turning because my mate hase


    back to me.


    My eyes rise to his, and I almost cry out loud once more when I still see only the deadly ck obsidian


    of his pupils, in a human face that’s sneering my way in total disdain. Although his teeth and ws are


    still out and waiting.


    It seems he’s chosen to toy with me until the end, and kill me in his weaker form, to show how pitiful I


    am. He doesn’t need to be wolf to do this, I’m not resisting. There’s no glory if he’s four times the size


    of me.


    Colton please… don’t.” I beg breathlessly forcing the words out and crying silently as the inevitable


    bes clear and a memory hits me full force in the face.


    Colton’s dream… it was a vision; it was this moment. He saw my death – our death, because I wouldn’t


    turn. And now I know why.


    He knew it, he felt it, and his dreams warned him of all that wasing. If only we took heed and never


    ventured into the forest again.


    My hand slides to my abdomen, almost like ast final decision that their life means more than my own


    and despite knowing they will die too…. I just can’t be the one to end theirs. Colton would never forgive


    himself, and neither would I. It would be our undoing.


    He walks forward, slowly, no care in the world, taking his time, and I screw my eyes shut and start to


    whimper under my breath as I ept fate. My body is broken and my blood seeping out at a rate that I


    know I don’t have much time left.


    “I’m sorry.”


    I failed them all.


    My pack, Sierra, Meadow…My children……


    My mate.