Chapter 50: Mom


    He is all in wolf mode in his head and acting like a male hitting the haze. Possessively close, practically


    bearing down on me as the femme he clearly wants to bone. It''s a little unnerving that he is being so


    weird, but I get it … I left him. I knew where I was and was in control of my being gone, so I never had


    that frantic pain of loss. I always knew where he was, and how to reach him, and could have if I


    needed, and wanted to, but he had none of that.


    He just had silence, no idea where in the world I went and not knowing if I was okay, so I guess it''s why


    he seems a little stirred up and wolfy crazy. His bond instincts to protect me must have made him


    insane thesest weeks, and until now I never really thought of it. How that must have made him feel,


    the powerless nature of it. Especially if he could feel my fear, my panic, my sadness, in everything I


    have been through. His wolf taking over, and sheer instinct is to stay on my ass and convince me I


    need, and like him stuck to me. That primal aggressive urge to stick to his mate and kill anything that


    comes near her.


    Normally the human in us counterbnces it a lot better than he is, but I guess I can let it slide while


    he''s caught in our first moments of reunion. My scent alone must be affecting him on all kinds of


    unbearable levels, because even his is getting under my skin and making me crazy. It''s taking all my


    will power to not turn and wrap myself around him.


    I walk a few steps to put distance between us unsessfully, him bumping me the whole way in an


    almost ustrophobic manner. I stop when I know we''re fully inside and then reach, feeling his face


    above mine with his taller height, having him towering behind me. I cup his chin just behind me,


    stretching my arm slightly and lift it, so he looks directly at the corner where Sierrays in front of him.


    His senses are all on me so that he hasn''t even clicked she''s here. That there''s anyone else in here.


    There''s a moment of pause. I sense the heart stop, and inhale. I feel everything that he exudes, and it


    makes my own emotions fade inparison. His shift from ''I need you'' possessive over-hormonal


    crazy, to ''what''s going on'' confusion, and then the ''is that?'' shock as everything about him changes.


    Colton steps around me instantly, freeing me from his presence as his attention is swept out from under


    him and darts to the bed in the dark. Swift, and direct, seeing exactly who it was in the dimness. Doc


    seems to be shuffling around and manages to click something that illuminates the back of the truck with


    built in low lights and I focus on Colton sliding to his mom''s side, scooping up her hand carefully, and


    almost gasping in shock. He leans in, making her look so small inparison to him and gently strokes


    his thumb across her pale hand. All the tenderness of a sweet child, infatuated with the mom he''s been


    pining for years.


    "Mom…. Is that really you? Can you hear me?" he sounds like a lost little boy, so young, and


    vulnerable, an aching rawness to his tone, and for a moment I forget my anger and nothing but


    compassion for him fills my heart. I can feel the way this has ripped his heart open, and his pulse is


    racing so speedily, mine starts to match it. Colton regresses ten years, and he''s just a boy finding his


    mom, whom he''s needed for so long, so much more than anyone could ever have known.


    "She''s sedated; the doc needs to wake her, but she doesn''t know what''s going on. Colton, you need to


    know…. there''s nothing wrong with her mind." I point out,ing level with him, and resting my hand


    on his arm as he stares at her, eyes fixed on her face. His breathing is shallow, and the confusion and


    pain is evident under that furrowed brow, and glowing amber eyes. He can''t contain his emotion, so his


    wolf is showing. He swallows hard, reaches out lifting a strand of her hair and brushes it back gently, so


    carefully like she''s fine china, so fixated on her, like this is some kind of dream he doesn''t want to wake


    from.


    "How... where?" his voice breaks, a harsh croak, and the doc seems to keep his distance to let me be


    the one to exin. It''s not an easy thing to tell a guy that the father he loved all this time is the reason


    his mother was imprisoned and put to sleep. I don''t even know how or where to begin, and I hesitate,


    looking to the doc, mildly panic stricken for a moment when ites to me. The doc shrugs and nods


    at him, as though encouraging me. I think he''s a little intimidated by Colton to be fair, I mean he did


    threaten to kill him three minutes ago.


    I don''t need to tell him. I need to show him. It''s the only way I know how.


    "It''s a long story, I think maybe it''s better to do it this way. So you can see for yourself." I whisper,


    reaching up andying my fingertips on his temple and wait for his permission. Tensing as my touch


    seems so light and hesitant on him, that familiarity dragging me to draw closer. Colton nods, oblivious


    to me really, while his attention is on her, knowing I mean projecting my memories. I can''t me him;


    he''s searched for her for so long, so no wonder she''s all he sees.


    I close my eyes and begin to push them his way, rifling through and trying to find a starting point as I


    drag them to the forefront. I decide on one, right from my decision to turn east and follow that path, to


    finding the facility, then being caught… Deacon, the doctor, the cell and finding Sierra, right until we got


    out and I linked Colton. I show him every second on that timeline, even how they kept her, and where,


    and hope it all filters in while he''s so distracted.


    I need to give him all of it, even the parts I''m afraid of him knowing, because I don''t have the words to


    tell him about his father, and I don''t have the strength to tell him about my family. Or that we''re both


    hybrids.


    Colton stands stock still, as it all ys in and he relives what I did in the past couple of days, seeing,


    hearing, learning everything I did. Feeling what I did and experiencing everything he must have felt


    from afar. In microseconds of time, the way transference works. Even the part I was most afraid of


    telling him…. that I''m a half breed vampire.


    I feel him close me out as soon as the images of thest memory fade away. Like a shuttering


    down as he disconnects from me, and that wall of emotion nking, pushes me away. It''s not


    something most wolves can do, especially to an imprinted bond, but Colton does it right now and


    shields me from everything he''s feeling in the moment and numbs me out. It''s an alpha gift, to shield


    loved ones from the pain and horror.


    It shocks me, hurts me a little too, but I don''t think he''s doing it to punish me. I think he''s doing it


    because he knows his own emotions arepletely overwhelming and he doesn''t want to make me


    feel them too. He''s protecting me and pulling back so he doesn''t share what he''s experiencing. He


    stands, lets go of his mom''s hand and looks over my head at the doc, a zed distant expression and


    not what I was expecting at all. A look of determination as that leader takes over and he stands that


    little bit taller, moving to take charge mode.


    "How long do you need before you can wake her?" There''s a coldness to his tone, ack of feeling and


    I wonder if he has recoiled even from his own feelings, because it was too much for him, or if he is just


    really, really pissed. I honestly cannot tell, but there is a brewing storm in the air around him, even if he


    is shielding me. I guess finding out everything in your life was a lie, and the viin in your story is your


    own father, has to hurt as much as what I learned about what he did to my family.


    "A couple of days to bring her round fully, but she may take weeks to properlye to and recover


    enough to turn, there is no telling. She''s been asleep for a very long time, and I don''t know what kind of


    harm that has caused her." The doctor looks helpless and I can tell he too doesn''t know how to react to


    Colton being so…. unemotional. It''s like he didn''t find his long-lost motherid sedated in the back of a


    truck, and he''s absently directing some lost tourist on where to go next.


    "I''ll drive. You stay back here with my mom. The manor is another thirty minutes, minimum, and we


    need to get going before that asshole Deacon and his failure sub pack show up. I don''t want to be


    spilling blood in human territory." That growl, a hint of anger, and I guess I feel a little smug about that.


    Colton might actually rip that jerk a new one after all. I honestly hope Deacon does show up, because I


    know my Santo will kick that Santo''s ass into next week, and I actually don''t mind letting him have that


    one. Watching will be as much joy as doing it.


    He doesn''t even look at me, just nods at the doctor to bolt the doors and then walks forward to the cab


    and climbs into the driver seat, smoothly, and fluidly, like he''s driven military medical trucks his whole


    life and doesn''t even blink an eye at it. Stopping and staring out the window at the assembled vehicles


    out there and I know he''s linking the pack to tell them to move. He''s issuing orders, and I follow and


    climb into the passenger seat, a little afloat with the sudden disconnect in him and unsure how to


    behave. This version is a Colton I don''t know, and even I feel like I should do what he says.


    I screw my eyes up at the trucks, counting maybe five, and way too many for the sub pack, unless


    they''re spread thinly among them, but can''t make out who''s driving at all. The headlights are screwing


    with my night vision and I can''t see anything but light re when I try and look past them. I wonder if


    Meadow can see me, and I long for nothing more right now than to go hug her. She would get a hug;


    Colton can go to hell, well maybe not right now as he seems like he could probably use one.


    As soon as we hear the door lock get slid and clicked in ce, he nces back to make sure the doc


    has pulled down one of the folding seats and strapped himself in before he moves us on. The fleet of


    vehicles roar into life and two stay back to let us pass and follow. So, we''re nked, and Colton just


    focuses on driving. He positions us right in the middle of the other cars as though they''re escorting


    some sort of president. A precious cargo who needs their protection. I guess we are. The Luna is as


    important as the Alpha in a pack, she''s our Queen.


    My need to have him say something overpowers my need to be mad at him, and I reach out cing my


    hand on his bicep gently.


    "Are you okay?" I sound like that feeble girl from so long ago that imprinted on him, and not the person


    I''ve been growing into these past weeks. When faced with this guy, it seems I be a submissive,


    lovesick, fool, and I silently hate myself for it. Colton seems different too now though, as I sit and


    evaluate his profile in the light of the headlights shining back at us from the rear of the ck four by


    four in front.


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    He looks like Colton, still cute boy with dimples that are prominent whenever he moves his face in any


    in kind of way which could melt any grown ass women''s panties. Still handsome, dreamy, pretty boy


    face, with that air of cheeky confidence, but yet he seems older. More mature, maybe a slight aging


    that has him seeming less carefree, and high school jock, and somehow more capable and serious in a


    way he wasn''t before. There''s a darkness around him that was never there and without tapping into his


    feelings, I don''t know what it is. It''s more than just learning about his mother; it was there when he


    walked into me outside the truck. Colton''s carrying a weight and I want to know what. There''s a shift


    and it''s like some of his youthful light has gone out.


    "I don''t want to talk about this right now…I need to…. just let me be, Lorey. Just for a minute." A


    petnt shrug of his arm so I stop touching him, and it''s like being scolded. An unexpected rebuff from


    the guy who just minutes ago hugged the life out of me with sheer need, and now I''m not allowed to


    touch him. I shouldn''t be upset. He''s hurt, he''s processing, and he''s in his own head, and it''s pretty


    hypocritical for me to be mad about that. I didn''t want him touching me, and that hasn''t changed.


    I try to link him, thinking maybe talking that way will help soothe him, away from the doc''s ears and he


    might be more open to being less cagey with his feelings but he has the door closed and I can''t get


    through at all. He''s literally locked me out in every way, and I don''t even know if this is normal behavior


    for him when he''s nursing pain, or if this is because he remembers I''m not his mate and he should only


    be sharing that space with her.


    Fuck you, Carmen. Fuck you, Colton.


    I hate that he can make me feel this way, a new storm swishing around inside of me and I have to stop


    myself from ring at him. A new surge of conflicting pain and I resist the urge to p him. I sit back in


    my chair and pull my legs under me, hauling my body in tight to self soothe, calm the torrent of crazy,


    and try not to stare at him, or throw shade. It''s hard when he''s right there, yet feels a thousand miles


    away, and my own emotions are in uproar. I can''t even pick a side and stick to it.


    I want to be mad at him and hate him, I have every right, but when he''s near I can''t stop this


    overwhelming pain and heartbreak he causes me, although right now, I''ve addedpassion and


    empathy to that mix, and I''m dying inside for him. Even while cursing him. I want to ease his own pain


    and as stupid as it seems, I''m devastated he''s closing me out like it has nothing to do with me. I''m so


    confused at my idiot thoughts and responses.


    "Where are we going?" I utter it his way, unable to not say something to him, even though he said he


    doesn''t want to talk. I can''t sit in painful silence feeling like this. Colton exhales with a sigh that signals


    he''s not really into answering butpelled to do so.


    "To the manor I inherited from my mom. It''s somece my father never had any control over. It''s where


    we''ve been staying these past weeks. Lorey, I told you, so much has changed." Colton''s eyes flick my


    way, he frowns at me and sighs again, and then looks back at the road and doesn''t borate. I mean I


    get he''s currently working through some of his own shit in his mind, but an exnation would be nice.


    This minimal chat bull crap isn''t working for me.


    "Such as?" I push, locking my eye on him with a sh of stubborn and I can''t miss the way his whole-


    body tenses up. The exhale, frustrated grip on the steering wheel, because it''s obvious I''m not going to


    shut up and leave him alone, and that has him rolling his shoulders to relieve tension while he decides


    answering is inevitable.


    "The pack is divided. Half are here with me, the other at the mountain. There was a fight, when I


    challenged my father for leadership, and it got real messy. The people were turning and with more


    attacks in the west, he was bing a dictator, forcing the people under hismand, and treating


    them like they were all his prisoners. I had to do something, and he didn''t like it. He lost! …. I''m the


    rightful alpha of the Santo pack now, but instead of stepping down gracefully as thews dictate, he


    ordered those loyal to him to take out me and mine." It''s an exasperated tone, exining something he


    clearly doesn''t want to, and it revs up that aura of closed off hostile around him. I gawp at him in wide


    eyed shock, heart thundering crazily, trying to really pull those words together. It hits me that while I


    was having my own existential crisis, so was he.


    "I don''t know what to say." I stammer, side swept with that revtion of events, that I honestly never


    sawing at all. That exins that cloak of darkness around Colton. Since I left his whole world has


    turned upside down, and his father already gave him reason to hate him, making my enlightening news


    somewhat less unbelievable. My memories only added fuel to his fire.


    "There''s nothing to say. My father tried to kill me. You were the catalyst, I guess… you leaving me,


    realizing that I was an idiot and lost the only thing that should have mattered. I failed you, and then a


    shit storm blew up around me with another vamp attack and life imploded. My father''s men are at war


    with his own people, still under threat of new vamp attacks. We''re scattered across the north and I have


    a sizeable chunk at my mom''s estate, hiding out, scared shitless." there''s a calm sort of eptance in


    his tone, as though he''s not okay, but this is his reality and he''s dealing with it in anyway he knows


    how.