With the dead Anua’s talons dragging across the ground and its rustle squawking and screeching violently behind him, Nameless stalked deeper into the jungle.
Following Shade’s thread of [Telepathy] back to him, his mind delved into their union to gather some sense of his brother’s state. He tasted the colours of anxiety and impatience that coruscated along Shade’s thoughts, but distance gave little clarity to the cause, “Does he worry over what my reaction may be, or the consequences that may follow his decision?”
The uncertainty surrounding Shade’s thoughts caused what anxiety that swirled incessantly just beneath the surface of Nameless’s psyche to rise. It breached his own thoughts like a Vermilion Tigerfish after a Four-Winged Hummingbird, with the water that trailed behind it the insidious strings of worry, doubt, and tension that begun to drench much of his thinking.
“I already know that I cannot control my brother’s thoughts…” Nameless snarled to himself, jaw tensing tighter around the Anua’s thin neck, “I already know that worrying over his decisions is useless! And yet-!”
While he continued forward distracted, one of the corpse’s talons suddenly caught on some of the undergrowth under paw, forcefully yanking the body out of his maw. The Anua’s feathers scraped gratingly against his fangs and tore through more of the flesh in his mouth, the immediate pain ripping a harsh scream from his throat, a bloody mist expelled from him with the yell.
The *thump* of the corpse dropping to the ground was barely acknowledged by Nameless, the pain causing his already taut emotions to snap with all the force of a monsoon’s winds.
He whirled around – plants and soil tossed about – maddened eyes hunting for the source of the agony now seeping from in between his fangs. Enflamed with every breath, his worries and anxieties died beneath a wildfire of embittered frustration, rage flaring each time the new wounds stung with the passage of air along them.
His sight skittered along the ground, hunting through a furious haze for the Anua’s corpse amongst the brush; wide leaves, ferns, flowers, roots, and branches, skipped past his eyes, irritation building with each heartbeat passed without the body in sight…
Until – by the errant streams of light that filtered through the canopy above – his eyes latched upon the shimmering feathers of the Anua, hidden beneath dirt, leaves, and broken sticks tossed about in his rage.
Nameless dashed forward, a deep growl quaking up his throat, his right forepaw snapping outward. Extended claws hooked beneath the grounded corpse, before – growl transforming into a booming roar filled with his frustrations – he tossed the dead Anua away; the leaves dirt, and sticks covering it flying chaotically away once more.
He watched the body careen away, blood and loosed feathers twirling around it as it spun, until – with the resounding *crack* of broken bones – the corpse slammed into a distant tree. The impact contained all the furious force the Anua had been made airborne with, a visible shudder radiating up the tree, shaking free leaves and twigs from above.
Great rattling heaves left his maw, the fury and frustration hounding his mind seeping out with each much like the blood that leaked from in between his fangs, “And yet it seems I cannot help myself from endlessly fretting over that which I cannot change…”
“Making myself frenzied or sick by allowing my fears and anxieties to lead me by the snout.” Nameless closed his eyes tightly, trying to choke the flames of his anger before they could rage once again… and also avoid allowing his anxieties to slip into the gap left behind.
His anxiety was becoming an ever-present irritation of his. It was a constant battle to avoid becoming lost beneath the tides of his worries and fears, their waves swelling whenever a complicated situation arose and his thoughts were allowed to run rampant, turning them into an overwhelming flood of apprehensions… an occurrence that was becoming all too common.
Nameless focused deeply on steadying his breathing, his mind dredging up the memories of [Wisdom]’s having helped calm him once before, “1, 2, 7, 4, 13, 11…”
The numbers continuing in his head, his eyes opened, and he began to pad towards where the corpse of the Anua lay slumped across a tree’s roots. With each step his frustration twisted away from that of Shade, the present pain, and even those fears of the future that always stalked his mind, instead turning towards that annoyance he felt at the lack of control that seemed the root of all his concerns.
Leaves and twigs crunched underpaw, the sound barely audible below the voices of his thoughts, “Too weak to assure my own safety, too valuable not to be hunted for the power in my veins and flesh, and too aware to not realize how… tenuous this existence of mine is and not worry over every possible threat to it…”
His claws extended and retracted with the waves of his anxiety, the building swell forcing him to pause and gather himself once more, “34, 28, 42, 35…”
He inhaled deeply, the scent of the dampened jungle filling his nostrils. In a harsh cycle, Nameless was well aware that there was little he could do to immediately alleviate his anxieties or that which caused them. There was no time he could waste on working through his problems – in the same fashion as what the “soft-adolescence” his imprints considered the Classical Races to have would allow – with the dangers of the wilds surrounding him… and that of his mother looming over his future.
Leaving him at the same frustrating conclusion.
“I can only struggle to survive… and hope I live long enough that I can make the time to do otherwise someday…” Lightly shaking his head, he harshly exhaled through his nose, his ears and tail flicking about with his agitation, “Even if my survival seems to often come by only the skin of my fangs.”
Nameless walked forward once more, the world muted beyond his thoughts, every one of them loudly swirling around his skull. Growth was the only recourse available to him, a brittle path rife with the same uncertainty that caused the constant susurrus of concern within him, devoid of that control he desired so greatly.
With the final length between himself and the corpse closing, he chaffed under his having to surrender himself to Fate and the whims of the World, his lips receding to reveal the fangs behind. The impotent rage he felt from his powerlessness burned at his throat, every muscle in his body tensing and vibrating as he desperately held back from lashing out again.
He wanted to scream… but the feeling left as quickly as it arose, his body slumping just before the broken carcass of the Anua.
He stared at the body, his eyes mindlessly tracing over the patches now void of its browned and silvered feathers, to the fractured protrusion jutting upwards from beneath the Monster’s skin to make taut mountains of flesh. He gazed upon its now shattered wings up to the ragged holes in its neck left behind by his fangs, “I suppose this is the burden of my [Wisdom]; the ability to realize and understand the unknown and uncertain surrounding me…”
“Only to suffer the anxiety of being aware to how little I can truly effect myself.” Nameless inhaled deeply, feeling his lungs swell within his chest, and huffed a heavy sigh, “But that does not mean I am completely absent of choice I suppose.”
His paws curled into the soil as he leaned down, mouth opening to pick up the Anua’s corpse, “While the circumstances of my survival are beyond my control, how I choose to react to them is not…”
He could feel a small kindle of that conviction that drove him spark within his breast, “Whether I give into my fears and rage, or strive beyond them is solely my decision alone. Even if it is an… insignificant one – in comparison to those I truly wish to make – the decision to fight on, even in spite of all that is arrayed against me, is one only I can make…”If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.
While his living and success was so greatly dependent upon fortune and the whims of others… there was a certain solace he could take in his having some form of sway over a portion of his life. It did nothing in quelling his anxieties or alleviating the anger that still begged to be released, however it did what so many of these moments of introspection did for him…
It granted him a small step forward.
A lack of understanding of himself was what he often felt was his one of greatest weakness, so much of his Identity merely imposed upon him from [Wisdom]’s awakening that he was almost having to… learn about himself the more time went by; his motivations and fears, the extent of his knowledge and thinking, and even his own voice, all things he was having to become accustomed to rather than naturally being.
And now – fangs sinking into the flesh of the Anua’s neck – he felt just the slightest more aware of himself. He heavily distasted how little control over his life he had, however he would struggle and bear it so long as it led to a dawn where he would have the power – and freedom – to take it by the paws and act beyond mere survival.
“Survive and Strive…” Feeling the raging tide of his worries and frustrations begin to recede, he raised his head, the body swinging listlessly from in between his teeth, “Or more so; Survive today, so I can Strive for more tomorrow.”
Nameless smiled around the Anua’s neck, his fangs coated in his and the Monster’s blood. He wondered distantly as he turned how long it would take before he would find that control he desired, if it was just a vain and na?ve hope never to be realized, or something truly attainable…
The thought brought about a sharp slash of tension across his brow causing him to shake his head – the corpse swaying against him with the motion. He was mentally exhausted; his emotions and thoughts having stretched his mind so thin that it felt as though it were a spider’s string pulled taut at two ends.
“Not done yet I am afraid…” He sighed around the Anua’s neck, his face scrunching at a migraine blooming across his forehead, blood frothing at the passage of air.
Confronting Shade’s decision still remained ahead of him.
He did not believe there was anything for him to fear, however that same uncertainty that had enflamed his emotions and dominated his thoughts, made that belief a fragile one, “I have worried more than enough this day… Whatever his decision, I will deal with it once I hear it, not be-”
Nameless’s ears twitched and turned, the sound of a creature crashing through the forest reaching them… growing closer.
He dropped the Anua, pivoting to face where the creature’s passage emanated. His fur stood on end, his wings stretching as far as they could – limited as they were by the brush – while he lowered himself closer to the ground, his body tensing in preparation of conflict.
The sound grew ever louder, Nameless releasing a deep aggressive rumble in reply, his claws and fangs coming to bare. He stayed at the ready, positioned just above his prey, heart thundering in his chest.
“Whatever it is, it knows I-” A pleading thread of [Telepathy] smacked against his mind and coiled around it, a chaotic deluge of emotions creating a nonsensical burst of words and intentions to slam into him.
Nameless winced away from the [Telepathy], fashioning his own to try and bring order to – and make sense of – the telepathic flood trying to smother his mind.
But at least he could relax… somewhat.
[Brother?] Nameless reached out.
[Brother!] Shade’s [Telepathy] flared with a palpable relief, [Felt. Anger. Then. Disappeared. Worried.]
Still reeling from the initial outpour, Nameless had to slowly parse through Shade’s words and emotions, before replying with a fair bit of… chagrin, [Ah, I- My apologies Brother. It seems that during a moment of… frustration, I severed the connection between us without realizing. I am… sorry that I worried you.]
There was a moment of pause, his brother’s [Telepathy] swirling over his apology, [Expected. Fight. Glad. Fine.]
Nameless chuffed at how much of Shade’s relief was for his not having to fight something, but he felt… warmed by the concern his brother had shown for him by being willing to come to his aid.
“A good sign…” He could hear Shade’s progress jungle’s undergrowth, the rustle of leaves impossible to ignore at such a distance, [You wished to talk earlier?]
The sound of his brother’s movement halted with his question, Shade’s end of their connection going temporarily inert.
[Y-yes. Wait.] His [Telepathy] stuttered with trepidation, Nameless nearly seeing his brother’s nervous hunched posture despite being obscured behind the undergrowth.
Nameless placed himself to the side of the Anua, waiting on his haunches for Shade to arrive before him. He focused on his breathing to steady the nerves that fluttered within his chest, “Whatever comes, you will deal with it.”
He didn’t have to wait long for Shade to break through the last of the thick growth between them, head pushing through the long fronds of a wide fern.
His brother’s dark complexion blended into fur of a similarly shadowy hue, his entire figure blending in amongst the shade of the canopy and brush. His face had the youth that Nameless’s had lost, a fullness that smoothed the predatory sharpness of his features, slightly obscuring cheekbones and a jawline similar to his own… but did nothing to his eyes.
They angled slightly downwards and appeared to have an almost drowsy quality to them… if not for the furrow in his brow that turned them to a near constant glare. Piercing orange eyes, dappled by flecks of fire, looked outwards behind his hooded eyes, his sight meeting Nameless’s own, [Look. Bad. Brother.]
Nameless huffed at the greeting, the dryness a far more familiar tone to his mind… even if it was only meant to hide the nervousness below, [The Anua were insistent in their efforts to prevent me from reaching the jungle. However, it seems I proved to be more… stubborn than they expected…]
He motioned a paw towards the dead Anua at his side – lips quirking up in a smirk that flashed some of his fangs – watching as Shade’s eyes flickered to the corpse.
[Yes. Stubborn. Right.] He could feel the mental exasperation at his statement, but the flashes of his hide viewed through Shade’s eyes spoke to his brother’s awareness that stubbornness had little to do with his escape.
The two fell into an awkward silence, the slowly returning sounds of wildlife scared away by the rustle of Anua’s filling the void between them.
Despite his brother’s best efforts, Nameless could smell the anxiety he tried so desperately to obscure, its presence making his own rise into his throat.
[Brother…] He started, only to be forced to stop with a sudden surge of emotions and images from Shade’s [Telepathy], their depth and numbers near blinding to his senses.
He experienced Shade’s thoughts and feelings as though they were his own, though the inexperience of his brother made the impressions disjointed and chaotic. He witnessed his oath to Shade; felt the myriad emotions and thoughts created in the wake of his promise, swimming through confusion and fear it inspired… but also the honor and gratitude it created.
With every prevailing conversation and interaction they shared, he could feel the conflict within his brother shift and change; every emotion gaining a greater depth with the addition of new questions to Shade’s curious mind.
Nameless felt that curiosity become the impetus of Shade’s interactions with him, a fanatical desire to understand what made Nameless different, battling directly against the fear he had of what he believed him to be…
Until today.
Nameless’s eyes snapped to Shade’s, his brother’s posture now more resolute, [Followed. Oath. Need. Trust.]
He could see the instant Shade’s suspicion and fear of him died, how the singular moment of his standing against the Anua to provide Shade the time to get to safety turned everything around…
An Anomaly would not have risked its life to protect him.
Their imprints and Mother’s teachings worked in Nameless’s favor, his selflessness running in direct contradiction to how Anomalies were described; his actions doing more to swaying Shade than any amount of his words could.
“Then why was he so… anxious?” He stared into Shade’s eyes and reached out with his [Telepathy], parting the cloud of his memories to hunt down the anxiety he had been worrying over. His attention wound between emotions and impressions, searching for the scent of concern that had incited some of his own.
“Ah.” His [Telepathy] brushed across the focus of his search, moving to twine around it and understand the cause of it in detail, “He was worried that I would be… angered by his having considered me an Anomaly, especially after I acted to protect him.”
Shade’s eyes turned away from his, Nameless’s having found his concern not going unnoticed to his brother, [I. Am. Sorry. Trust.]
[You have no reason to apologize, Brother.] Nameless allowed his attention to recede from the depths of Shade’s mind, avoiding further intrusion within his mind, [You were smart to be worried about me… though I am glad that you no longer consider me to be an Anomaly.]
[No. Trust.] Shade reaffirmed his trust for Nameless, a conviction making his threads of [Telepathy] rigid and immobile, [Trust. Promise. Protect. Fight. Beside. Too?]
Nameless could feel the truth of his brother’s conviction, the depth of his mimicked oath as deep as the one he had made himself. Shade’s telepathy thrummed with determination and respect to his mind, a palpable yearning for his acceptance making his reply all but certain.
[I accept your oath, Brother…] A true smile graced his lips, his fangs gleaming under the dull rays from above, a great weight falling away from his shoulders, [And I see no better way to affirm both of ours, than to do so over a hunt…]