Allison was in her Sal’nash Defense Fleet uniform.  Or rather the dress version of it that she didn’t design.  It was white with gold trim, a skirt and white heels.  She folded her hands behind her back as she looked out of the view port of the Ark Royal’s diplomatic lounge.  Gh’tal three loomed large below her.  It was a garden world.  It wasn’t strategically important by any stretch of the means, nor was it particularly integral to the LSR’s economy.  The Gh’talli were a tall brown furred quadruped that stood six feet tall.  They were so minor a species they didn’t even have their own representative on the council.  For rights if Allison were looking at this like a real tactician, she would have let the Sal’nash run wild on the surface and turned the surface to glass.


    She sighed.  She wasn’t a real soldier or tactician.  She had risked thousands of lives for this unremarkable green world and its inhabitants.  Eighty-four of her soldiers had lost their lives on the surface.  Fourteen humans from the System’s Alliance, sixty-two Silwrath, six female Yorleer, and two of Dhark’s species.  In space she had lost two hundred people of her people and two destroyers.  On paper as humans used to be so fond of saying, it was a resounding victory.  For two-hundred and eighty-four people she had destroyed two super-hives and killed somewhere in the order of sixty thousand Sal’nash.  There had been precisely zero civilian casualties.  For the small cost of two hundred and eighty four people she and her defense fleet had prevented the deaths of 6 billion Gh’talli.


    Allison leaned her arm across the top of the view port and put her forehead on it.  She pondered how that could be any comfort to the families and loved ones of her fallen soldiers.  Especially the humans.  She was certain they were asking why their sons and daughters, fathers and mothers had died on some planet four thousand light years from the closest human colony.  She hadn’t meant to be thinking of all this today but before she left for this meeting, she had received a direct message over the Alliance Net from an eight year old girl asking Allison why her mommy had to die.  Her assistant had missed it.  Allison hadn’t answered the question.  She wasn’t even sure how to answer it.  Why did this little girl’s mom have to die?  Galactic peace?  What would it matter to the poor kid that her mother’s name would be on some wall on some distant world declaring she was a hero?


    Her mind drifted back to a Shakespearean play that survived the Gray.  King Henry the IV, part one.  She pondered what was in part two, because it no longer existed…  She recalled Falstaff’s soliloquy: Can honor set a broken leg?  No: or an arm? No: or take away the grief of a wound… She sighed and pushed off the viewport.  She tugged on her collar and paced.  Nutina showed up in her dress uniform.  Allison pounced.


    “Where are they?  I hate all this diplomatic crap.  We saved them.  Wasn’t that enough? Can we go home already?”


    Nutina patted Allison on the upper arm.


    “Such impatience.”


    Nutina touched Allison’s chest with a slender talon.


    “You earned this.”


    Allison frowned and turned away.  She pointed at the planet below.


    “No, the people who died down there earned it, I just showed up to collect a paycheck…”


    Nutina stood beside Allison and looked at the planet below.


    “My friend, you turned what would most assuredly be a slaughter of innocents and a complete loss of our forces into a crushing victory.  My troops died glorious deaths.  The kind of death a Silwrath yearns for.”


    Allison shook her head.


    “Don’t give me that glory crap.  I led them into a bloodbath.  For what, some furry intelligent cows?  This planet has no strategic value whatsoever.”


    Nutina motioned to the world below.


    “No, you proved to the people of the System’s Alliance and League of Sentient Races our Allied forces can beat back the Sal’nash.  Time after time we have retreated in defeat.  World after world.  System after system.  Yesterday you changed all of that.  We would have obliterated this world’s surface, including the Gh’talli just to stop the spread of the Sal’nash and we probably would have failed.  We are soldiers.  Worse, we are leaders, we will lose people under our command.  Our men and women did not die in despair.  They saw a Battlelord lead a charge.  They saw you take the same risks we all did.  They saw your ferocity in battle, and they wanted to prove they were worthy to be at your side.”


    Nutina looked at Allison.


    “You were okay with our losses yesterday, what has changed?”


    Allison flicked her fingers and made her AR HUD visible.  She pointed at the projected email.  Nutina’s wings drooped.


    “What do I tell her?  Your mother died gloriously hiding behind a hovertank because I decided it was better to have the Sal’nash all attacking us instead of some random aliens you don’t care about?  Sergeant Mann was right beside me.  I watched her die.  She lives on my colony.  I have to see this kid, her dad.”


    Nutina pulled Allison close and wrapped her wing around the teenager’s shoulders.


    “You’re going to go see her in person in your shiny dress uniform.  You’re going to get down to her level and you’re going to tell her that her mother sacrificed herself to protect her little girl from the darkness of this universe.  You’re going to tell her you were with her mother when she passed on, that her mother’s last words were that she loved her little girl very much.  That is what you’re going to do.  Because that is what she needs to hear.”


    Allison sighed.  The pair turned when the door slid open.  Captain Seng and Commander Holiday entered, followed by the planetary governor of Gh’tal three, along with two of his ministers and what appeared to be a child.  Though Allison couldn’t tell boys from girls in this group of aliens she only knew the governor was male because someone told her.  Allison waved away her holographic display and approached the dignitaries.  The child kneeled down on their two front legs and offered up a platinum medal.  Allison was pretty sure it was a girl when the Gh’talli spoke.


    “It is my honor to present you with the Crest of Gh’tal.  Our highest honor, mighty Battlelord.  We will sing of your victory from this day forth.”


    Allison took the crest.  The governor spoke.


    “Battlelord you did not need to save our people or our world, but you did.  We acknowledge your losses and will honor their memories as if they were our own.”


    Allison bowed her head.


    “I am grateful we were able to prevent the loss of innocent lives.  I am honored to be recognized for my actions.”


    The Gh’talli child was looking up at Allison with stars in her eyes.  The governor bowed his head.


    “Your actions have already inspired our children and young adults.  We are being inundated with calls asking how to join the defense forces.  How they can be like you.”


    Allison glanced at Nutina who gave her a small nod.


    “First Trimarch Nutina can help engage the League’s military to handle such inquiries on your behalf if you wish.”


    The meet and greet went on from there.  Allison tuned most of it out after that point because her mind was elsewhere.  After the meet and greet was the photo op on the surface.  The Great Battlelord surveying the remnants of the battle.  The Battlelord on the bridge of her ship looking out at the dead hulk that used to be a super-hive.  It was all for the benefit of the Board and Councils.  She was tired of it and the day was only half done.  After the photos she was hauled into the SCIF, still in dress uniform to provide casualty numbers.  Projected regeneration requirements for her forces.  The day wore on and on.  Finally, she was able to take the bulk of her fleet home.  She’d left a wormhole capable ship along with four LSR ships to ensure there were no remaining Sal’nash holdouts.


    Early evening found Allison on the surface of Eden prime in her dress uniform.  She was standing outside the door of the girl who had asked her why her mommy had to die.  The girl’s name was Regina, she went by Reggie.  The family was also from Africa dome.  They weren’t close family friends, but they had played board games together on a couple of occasions.  Reggie’s dad was a member of the local Colonial Defense Forces.  Reggie’s father answered the door.  He looked confused to see Allison.


    “Allison?  Is everything okay?”


    Allison nodded she offered up a handwritten letter to the man.


    “I wanted to give you my condolences for your loss in person since my parents are friends of yours.  I am so sorry for your loss.”


    Allison watched as Reggie approached behind her father.  The little girl looked way up at Allison.


    “If it is not too much trouble, I would like to speak to Reggie.  She asked me a question; I want to give her an answer.”


    He nodded.  Reggie came forward hugging a stuffie of Allison in her arms.  Allison knelt down.


    “Reggie, I’m really sorry for what happened to your mother.  You asked me in your email, why your mommy had to die.”


    Reggie’s father looked shocked.


    “You don’t have to answer that, Allison.  Reggie why would you do that?”


    Allison held up her hand.


    “It is okay, I am here to answer her question.”


    Reggie was looking at Allison intently, Allison could tell where the girl’s question came from.  She was a fan of Allison’s the stuffie should have been enough but the look on the girl’s face spelled it out even more.  Allison fought back tears.


    “Reggie, I don’t know why some people live and some people die.  What I do know is that your mother told me she wanted to be on my crew to protect you from the darkness of the universe.  When she died yesterday that is exactly what she was doing.  I was beside her the whole time.  I wish I could protect everyone, but it is not within my power.  I held her when she passed.  She told me that she loves you very much.”


    Reggie hugged the plushie Allison tightly.


    “But you’re the Dark Mother’s little girl.  Why couldn’t you protect mommy?”


    Allison sighed and she held out her hand palm up.


    “You know when you try to catch rain drops in your hand?”


    Reggie nodded.  Allison smiled.


    “Reggie, being a Battlelord is like trying to catch raindrops in your hand.  You just have a much bigger hand.  You can catch a lot, but you cannot catch them all.  I have help and they catch most of theirs too.  It doesn’t matter how many hands I have helping me; Some raindrops still reach the ground.  Your mother was one of the raindrops we could not catch.  Your mom caught an entire planet’s worth of people in her hand.  Because of what we did together you are safer.  We are going to lose more raindrops before the end but we’re going to lose so many less because of what your mom did for us.”


    Reggie had tears in her eyes, but she was nodding along with Allison’s words.  The girl ran forward and hugged Allison who wrapped her arms around the child.  Allison patted the crying girl’s back gently.   Reggie cried herself to sleep.  Allison lifted her up and offered the sleeping girl to her father who nodded to Allison who was now wiping away some of her own tears.


    “Marnie was so excited when you picked her for your crew.  I told her it was a dangerous assignment.  She told me that she knew that, but she couldn’t let what happened at Yellowstone happen here.”


    Allison shifted on her feet.


    “I picked her because she was good at her job, and she volunteered.”


    He shifted so he had Reggie in a more comfortable position.  Allison bowed her head slightly.


    “I am sorry for your loss; I cannot imagine losing a partner.  I’ll let you get on with your evening.”


    He spoke as Allison was turning away.


    “Please tell me how my wife really died, not the story you told my daughter, and not the lies the System’s Alliance told me.”


    Allison bit her lower lip then decided to be honest.


    “Three Sal’nash hives woke up on a planet with a population of 6 billion sentients.  Two reached space. We were able to destroy those.  A third was unable to reach orbit and crashed.  The Sal’nash from that hive were only thirty kilometers from a population center of ten million people.  The planet was of no strategic value and once the Hive crashed it was no threat to System’s Alliance interests.  We could have avoided all ground unit casualties by just bombarding the planet.  The cost in civilian lives would have been in the millions.  If we had succeeded, billions if we had failed.  We could have waited for our main fleet to join us but once again there would have been a cost in civilian lives for the delay.  I made the call to land the troops we did have and distract the Sal’nash from the civilians.  We held them for almost thirty minutes before our reinforcements arrived.  During that thirty minute period we lost eighty-four people.  Fourteen System’s Alliance, seventy League soldiers.”


    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    He nodded stoically.


    “How many civilians died in the attack?”


    “None.  We kept them away from the population center.”


    He shifted Reggie again.


    “Your wife and I were taking cover behind a hovertank killing what we could she came under concentrated fire from Sal’nash spines.  She was unlucky and one pierced the shell of her Goliath.  Even a drop of their venom is deadly to humans.  The anti-venom nanite injectors that I have had incorporated into our modified Goliath suits failed to deploy.”


    He looked her up and down.


    “Can you tell me that you as her commanding officer did everything in your power to keep her safe?”


    Allison sighed.


    “No, I should have never ordered our troops to land while so outnumbered.”


    He shook his head.


    “What is my rank and position in the CDF?”


    “Major, you are in charge of troop deployments on Eden in the event of an attack.”


    He nodded.


    “That is correct.  I’m angry at the Sal’nash for killing my wife.  I am not angry with you.  In your position I would have done the same thing, made the same calls.  The only difference between us is that I would have been in a command bunker directing our forces, you stood beside yours, and my wife.  Thank you for what you did for Reggie.”


    Allison nodded.


    “They weren’t human.”


    He nodded.


    “They were still civilians what species they were does not matter.  My wife, you, myself, we all swore the same oath.  Mine was not lip service and neither was my wife’s.  I will make sure you have a seat at the memorial service.  If you don’t mind me saying so, you look tired, you should get some rest.”


    Allison put her hat on and saluted him.


    “I will be there.”


    He nodded and closed his door.  Allison looked at the moon before heading to her pickup truck.  She had two more stops.  She pulled into the base and parked under the medical center.  Her next stop was on the third floor.  She had her hat under her arm and knocked on the door of the room she was visiting.  One of the occupants told her to come in.


    All four of the injured soldiers inside had been with her during the Gh’tal defense.  Three were in induced comas.  They were Goliath power armor jockeys who had not listened to her warnings about not trusting their armor.  While their nanite injectors had saved their lives with the anti-venom nanites the damage to their veins and skin at the injury sites was extensive.  The venom was acidic.  Between clone replacement parts, cybernetics and just plain advanced medical technology they would be alright eventually.  Unfortunately, no number of medical advancements would fix the feeling of being burnt up from the inside.  And these three had barely survived because each had taken six or seven of the venom laden Sal’nash spikes.


    Her eyes drifted to the lone conscious occupant.  A man she did not have much love for, but she had a lot of respect for as a fellow fighter pilot.  She approached him and nodded as he gave her his usual cocky grin.


    “Shadow, coming down here to visit little old me, I thought you had some interviews to do, you know take all the glory.”


    Allison sighed and nodded.


    “Part of the job for Crown Princesses and propaganda models.  Legend how are you doing?”


    He looked down at his shoulder.  His left arm ended a few inches from his shoulder.  The remains of the limb were capped off by a medical device meant to keep his nerves, blood vessel and bone active as if there was an arm attached.


    “I’ve been better but hey I’m alive.”


    Allison nodded.


    “I wanted to come down here personally to thank you for defending Silverfang’s approach to the planet.  Without your actions our ground offensive likely would have failed to achieve its goals.  I am recommending you for a commendation.  I also wanted to tell you that you have been accepted into the AI squadron.”


    He looked pretty pleased with himself.


    “Well look at that, I’m a genuine hero.  Hey Shadow, how is Tali doing?  After I got hit, she took over, moved the fighter so the second plasma blast didn’t hit the cockpit.”


    Allison nodded.


    “Her core took a direct hit.  She chose not to shunt herself to her reserve data storage and instead landed the starfighter safely.  She suffered complete neural failure shortly after landing.  Her personality matrix and memory data were unrecoverable.  I am sorry.”


    Legend sank into his bed.


    “I’m gonna miss her, best co-pilot I ever had, a good friend too.”


    Allison nodded.


    “I understand.  Bit is probably my best friend.  We are going to be able to repair the fighter with spare parts recovered from the Synthlin base.  One of the neural patterns we rescued from the base has volunteered to replace her.  Her name is Jlhuwh’j’y, she’s willing to go by the name Julie.  She’ll be ready for you when you finish getting that arm replaced.”


    He looked pretty down at the news about Tali.  Allison decided to change the subject.


    “Cybernetic, or organic?”


    He blinked a few times and looked up at her from the bed.


    “Huh?”


    “Your arm, what are you going to replace it with?”


    He chuckled.


    “I thought I was going to get stuck with the same base model cybernetic piece that every shmuck in this army gets stuck with.”


    Allison shook her head.


    “No, only the best for my people.  Look at the catalogue, I’ll make sure you get whatever you want.  Let’s see just how far we can go with this by all means necessary, no expense spared budget.”


    He chuckled and smiled.  She smiled.


    “And if they won’t pay for it, I will out of my own pocket.  Don’t take too long picking.  You’ll like Julie.  I hear she’s a lot like you.  A cocky asshole.”


    He grinned.


    “You’re alright Shadow.”


    Allison smiled.


    “Well, my jury is still out on you.  Get better fast.  I need you in that cockpit, not in here flirting with nurses and getting fat off of hospital food.”


    Allison said her good-byes and checked on the status of the rest of the casualties before heading down to her pickup truck and over to a secure hangar that only had one resident fighter or well the parts of a fighter.  Bit’s replacement frame was still in pieces.  Allison climbed up on the frame holding Bit’s computer core upright and leaned back against what amounted to her friend’s brain.  Bit’s voice sounded different when she spoke.  More robotic with the temporary audio interface so picking up on her emotions would be impossible.


    “You’re going to get your uniform dirty.”


    Allison shrugged.


    “Meh.”


    Bit paused for several seconds.


    “Do you want to talk about it?”


    Allison shook her head.


    “Not really, I just wanted to hang out with my best friend.”


    “We could have easily had this conversation over your holo-phone with a much better audio interaction.”


    Allison shrugged again and shook her head.


    “Bit that is not the same.  This neural matrix quantum computer core is as you as you can get.  I can feel you here.  I can’t feel you in the Alliance Net or on my holo-phone.  Or in the holo-sim.  This is real.  As close to a hug as I can get from the real you, and I need a hug.”


    Bit answered after several seconds.


    “This might cheer you up, I read on the Alliance Net that you won the Andromeda Galactic secondary student science fair planet wide contest.  The judging finished three hours ago.  That means you now have a four year full scholarship from Titan Data Metrix Inc to a university of your choice on Earth.  I’m very proud of you Allison.  You won with your own hard work.  You proved to everyone you’re more than just a soldier.  You’re also a brilliant young scientist.”


    Allison shrugged.


    “There are only fifteen high schools in the Andromeda Galaxy, that’s what six hundred projects?  My project was stupid, space cows?  Interviews with two stuck up scientists?  They should have picked someone else.  I don’t need a scholarship; I can go anywhere I want anyway.  I’m not even sure I want to go to university.  What does it matter anyway?  No matter what I do, my future is already planned out; I will be an Empress of some kind. My present sucks too.  I only entered the stupid science fair because I lied about what I was really trying to figure out and I failed a science test.”


    She sighed.


    “They probably only picked me because I was an Aurelius.  They were trying to earn some favor with my biological family.  How is that fair?”


    “Allison, they picked your project because you embodied the theme of the contest and tried to foster an interest in science.  Their notes all refer to how passionately you spoke during your presentation, how professional you were.  I am proud of you.  You have been taking notes on preparing moving speeches from me.  No where in the recordings of deliberations or notes do I see any reference to the Aurelius name.”


    Allison shook her head.


    “No one talks about it, even ignoring the fact I am an actual princess and that my biological mother was most definitely the Dark Mother who has like four hundred million faithful… my other biological parent was Amee Jace.  The woman who single-handedly pulled humanity back from the brink of extinction and then built humanity into a galaxy-spanning civilization.  They probably don’t even consciously think about it.  By accident of birth, I am rich, powerful and famous.  I miss being Allison Wanjala.  I miss being my parent’s daughter.  Hell, I even miss being the girl everyone picks on at school because I was different.  I miss when teachers were more scared of my mother than they were of me.  I miss going to school and not being stared at because they know I am in the process of committing genocide of an entire species.  Are they wondering when I’m going to snap? I should be shopping for my summer formal dress this weekend not notifying the families of people I got killed that their loved ones are never coming home.  That they died on a worthless planet, in some worthless system so that a bunch of sentient cows could go on with their lives like nothing happened.  I am the same as the worst humans in history the only difference between Hitler and I, is my targets are the Sal’nash and not a religion.  Apparently one species wasn’t enough for me though, no, I had to do it twice… In the last year I have directly killed or ordered the deaths of almost twenty billion sentient beings.  Holo-Enid told me once her hands were covered in the blood of tens of thousands of mortals and over a million vampires.  How much blood am I covered in then?  Bit I am barely seventeen years old; I am immortal and despite my best efforts I can’t seem to die permanently from unnatural causes, how many more species will I wipe out before someone finally finds a way to end me?”


    Bit was silent for several moments after Allison’s rants.


    “Allison, I want to tell you a story.  During our time together and with your Aunt Maria’s help removing the programmatic blocks, I have begun to remember more and more of my organic life.  You remember your top secret briefings on the alternate timeline, the one I’m from, the Silwrath were eradicating any sentient species they could.  The Qual’sa were a memory that only a few of us remembered because my husband, who was the elected leader of the Synthlin in that timeline had demanded his top scientist develop temporal shields to protect us.  Only a few of us were protected the technology was complex and we could not protect everyone.”


    Even through the robotic voice Allison could hear sadness creeping in.


    “My children were erased from existence when the planet they were trying to escape was hit with the Silwrath’s temporal weapon.  Even my husband, who wasn’t shielded at the time forgot they ever existed.  Sure, he was concerned about our people, but I was consumed with rage.  Behind my husband’s back I ordered our greatest scientist to develop terrible weapons.  Nanotech plagues targeting the Silwrath, using Synthlin remains to implant as shackled AI’s in our war machines.  Finally, the scientist realized it wasn’t my husband making these requests.  He didn’t care.  We were the same, we’d both lost our children to the Silwrath.  Worse we were the only ones who remembered them!  So, we concocted a plan.  One of our deep space exploration teams had found a crashed ship of unknown origin that incorporated Synthlin technology.  On that ship we found alien DNA infected with our nanites.  The scientist and I developed a package of nanites that would use our most advanced cybernetic technology and infect DNA of that individual or her descendants.  We sent it off to that crashed ship’s one remaining nav point on a prototype FTL probe.  In that package we put all of our knowledge, our hatred of the Silwrath, we gave her the time travel tech we had developed from stolen Silwrath technology.  We gave her the motivation and ability to wipe the Silwrath out before they were even an intelligent species, and we had no reservations.”


    Allison was confused at the moment.


    “So, what happened? Did they save you?”


    Bit spoke.


    “No.  We were not saved.  My husband found out what we had done.  I helped the scientist escape to continue our work and I was punished by being put into a data core very much like this one.  My people eventually lost the war and were wiped out except for the lone scientist I helped escape.  Allison, you already know who was infected with that package.  I probably bonded with you because I recognized what I had done subconsciously even if I did not remember.”


    Allison kicked her legs as she thought about Bit’s story.


    “I get it.  You used Amee for your revenge.  Probably ruined her life too.  Your tech killed billions of humans when the wrong people got their hands on it.”


    “It wasn’t Amee.  Are you angry?”


    Allison’s lips pursed briefly but then she shook her head.


    “No.  I can’t really be mad.  It is and was a causality loop.  Whoever it was, it always somehow ended up in the Andromeda galaxy in the distant past.  You always found her remains.  Everything that happened had to happen.  But you are wrong on one point.  You were saved.  Enid fell in love with Amee, Amee sent Enid to the Andromeda Galaxy, Enid found your scientist and he told Enid when to defeat the Silwrath.  She went back with my sisters and wiped out the Silwrath’s research and scientists.  The Silwrath never developed their tech… Never wiped out the Qual’sa.  The Qual’sa twins went to war and Aryni created the Sal’nash in a last act of vengeance against the galaxy that killed her and her followers…”


    Allison shrugged.


    “Not sure about that last part there, not sure why Aryni did anything she was a psychotic bitch.  So, I’m just guessing… Who was the blood from in that ship if it wasn’t Amee’s?”


    Bit didn’t answer for several minutes.  Allison looked at the core.


    “Bit, are you alright?”


    Bit spoke.


    “Allison, it was yours and the remains were most likely one of my airframes.”


    Allison looked at Bit’s core.


    “Then how were you not there to talk to?”


    “There was catastrophic damage to the frame, charges had been set on all the major components.  The core was completely destroyed.  Somehow the FTL drive, and graviton core survived, the charges hadn’t detonated.  It was too late in the war for us to make much use of it but if we put them on a probe frame… sent it towards the one set of coordinates we could recover which was in the FTL drive’s buffer…  It was in a different galaxy, but we knew we had lost. We had nothing to lose.”


    Allison shook her head.


    “Okay I’ve time travelled before but… only in this timeline.  Aunt Maria said Enid closed all the loopholes.  How would I possibly end up in a different timeline, and what happened to me?”


    “I do not know, Allison.  I have analyzed the memory engrams repeatedly and asked the technicians, and the president to confirm my data integrity without explaining why.  It appears the memory is valid.”


    Allison who had done some deep diving on temporal theories and the like realized something.


    “So, I’m basically my own… creator? Or parent… I’m a grandfather paradox.  I smell meddling.  Whatever, you didn’t answer my question, how many species will I wipe out before someone puts me down?”


    Bit didn’t respond immediately, but she did eventually.


    “I was trying to use my personal story to illustrate that it doesn’t matter.  We all do what we think is best in the heat of the moment.  I did unthinkable things in my grief.  One of those things was trying to turn someone else’s child into a living weapon of vengeance.  I honestly believed that was my worst crime because I was inflicting a similar pain to my own on another mother.  My worst crime that I would have gladly allowed myself to be executed for created you, Allison.  You who chose to sacrifice yourself and your people to defend some worthless people, on some worthless planet, in some worthless system…  You have repeatedly given up your own happiness and peace of mind for innocent lives.  You cannot judge your actions until you can see the whole of the impact they make.  Whatever the outcome you can only do the next right thing without regard for how history will see you.”


    Allison kicked her legs a few more times.


    “What about how I see myself?”


    Bit gave a robotic sigh.


    “Allison, how would you change things if you could?”


    Allison threw up her hands.


    “I’d make sure all the goddamned anti-venom nanite injectors were working in the Goliaths!  I don’t know.  I guess not.  I couldn’t change anything.  I didn’t do it so we could have a glorious last stand.  I did it to save the civilians and the planet.”


    “Then why are we talking about this?”


    Allison sighed.


    “Because a little girl named Reggie asked me why her mommy needed to die.”


    “And how did you answer her?”


    Allison waved her hand dismissively.


    “I didn’t, I danced around the question like a coward. Then she asked me why I didn’t protect her mommy, and I gave her some bullshit answer about rain drops and how I can’t catch them all.”


    “Was she happy with your answers?”


    Allison rolled her eyes.


    “Of course not, she’s an eight year old girl and her mom is dead, and she won’t understand.  All she knows is that her mom will never tuck her in again, never read her another story, won’t be at her wedding, won’t be there for the birth of her first child, won’t see her graduate will never hug her and tell her she loves her again.  She just looked at me like I was still some larger than life hero and Disney princess, buried her face in my uniform jacket and cried herself to sleep.”


    “Allison, are you angry because her mother died under your command, or that she doesn’t hate you for it?”


    Allison growled.


    “Can’t it be both?”


    “Allison, I think you need sleep.  So, I’m going to go into sleep mode after one last bit of wisdom: When things are at their darkest, people cling to many things to give them that push to just hang on a little bit longer, things like hope.  Allison, you inspire people despite your best efforts and while that little girl lost her mother, she still has you to look up to.  It is you and not your biological mother that people are looking to as a savior when they’re in danger or scared.”


    Allison sighed.


    “And when I fall short, and don’t show up?  What then?”


    Bit only responded with.


    “Get some sleep, good night, Allison.”