Chapter 203


    #Chapter 203 – Mother


    E


    After shopping with Cora and napping away the afternoon with the pups in the nursery, I find my way to


    Henry’s rooms. The guards told me he just returned from the refugee camp, but when he opens the


    door for me he’s all smiles. I give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and he wees me in. “You


    wouldn’t happen to be in the mood for an afternoon snack, would you?” He inquires knowingly.


    “Because personally I’m starving.”


    I’m fairly certain this is a plot to make sure I’m feeding myself well, but my stomach growls loudly as I


    find a seat on the couch. Still, I try to sound demure as I shrug, “I could eat.”


    Henryughs before calling down to the kitchens and ordering a small feast. As we eat he tells me all


    about his day at the refugee camp and I, in turn, share my frustration with my sudden celebrity and


    Cora’s news about Roger. He can only shake his head. “That boy has made some bad choices in his


    life, but I’ve been very proud of him thesest few months. I never thought I’d see the day that my sons


    would repair their rtionship. You know that’s down to you, don’t you?” He asks warmly, an


    affectionate twinkle in his eye.


    “Oh, don’t say that. I’m so tired of getting credit for things that just so happened to ur in my general


    vicinity.” Iin, slumping back and rubbing my full belly. “Not that I don’t appreciate the


    compliments… I just… perfection is an impossible thing to live up to… and I am so far from perfect it’s


    laughable. I don’t want to end up with a reputation that I’m destined to fall short of – I’m only human


    after all.” A moment after the words leave my mouth, I realize they aren’t true. “I mean, not human, but


    I’m just a person like everyone else.”


    “No one said you were perfect, E.” Henry reminds me pointedly. “I said that you brought Dominic and


    Roger back together – which is true. If you read more into that then I think you’re projecting at best, and


    giving yourself too much credit at worst.”


    I can’t help butugh. “Fair enough. I suppose no one has said I’m perfect… I just… I can see the hope


    and the expectation in their eyes. The refugees, the servants, random people on the street… even my


    guards. Everyone is looking at me as though I’m the solution to this war, the ruined secrecy pact… but


    I’m the same person I was yesterday. I don’t have the answers to these problems.” Seeming to sense


    there’s more, Henry stays silent, and I catch a rogue tear slipping from the corner of my eye. “I’m


    terrified that I’m going to fail them all, Henry.”


    Henry wheels around the coffee table, which bears the wreckage of our feast, and takes my hand in


    his. “Dearheart, that is part of being a pack leader. Every Alpha and every Luna has had the same fear,


    and I know it feels overwhelming, but it’s also your strength. Duty to your people, the desire to do right


    by them will keep you centered, it’s what will guide you forward through the hardest days of your reign.


    Now, I know the problems you’re facing are a lot bigger than what most Luna’s have to deal with, but I


    promise you aren’t alone in feeling this way. That’s why the responsibility is so grave.”


    His words ring true, especially as I think about Sinir. I know my mate struggles with the incredible


    weight of caring for all those in his territory, of living up to his title and doing his best for his people, but


    it still feels different to me.


    “But most Alpha’s and Lunas have some idea what they’re doing.” I argue weakly. “They know this


    world, they’ve learned and prepared their whole lives from watching their predecessors. They know the


    history, the society and all of it’s challenges. I’m not even a decent ambassador to human society


    because my experiences were pretty damn niche.”


    Henry smiles tenderly, “I’m going to give you some advice that will help you as both parent and pack


    leader. There are countless days ahead where you will feel uncertain, where you’re overwhelmed and


    exhausted and all you can do is pray that you’re not messing up your child or your people in some


    irreparable way.”


    “Is this supposed to beforting?” I squeak, cradling my belly protectively and wishing I could keep


    my son in the safe haven of my womb until this wretched war is over.


    Henry chuckles good-naturedly. “The advice is just to keep putting one foot in front of the other. If you


    step back and think about everything at once, the weight will crush you. Just take it one day at a time,


    and before you know it, you’ll realize that you had what it takes all along. It won’t be easy – but I


    promise you, nothing is more rewarding.”


    “Thank you.” I profess tearily, reaching forward to hug him. “That isn’t even what I came to talk to you


    about, but I guess I needed to get it out.”


    “Exactly.” He purrs, patting my back. “Poor little mother, I’m sorry you’re dealing with all this alone.”


    “But I’m not alone.” I correct him with a watery smile. “I have a family for the first time in my life – and I


    don’t mean the one who gave me up.” I rify, wiping my eyes. “I’m so grateful to you all. I admit, it’s


    been one hell of a learning curve to figure out how to talk about my feelings, but I have to admit


    Dominic was right – it helps.” I nce at my father-inw. “Don’t tell him I said he was right.”


    “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Henry promises, swiping his fingers over his lips and throwing away the key.


    “So what did you want to talk to me about?”


    “Oh.” I say, my face falling. I’m half tempted to brush it aside and save this conversation for another


    day. We’ve ended on such a lovely note, and I’m not eager to mess it all up. Still, when I nce up at


    Henry he’s giving me an expectant look like he knows exactly what I’m thinking and won’t let me get


    away with it. Not for the first time, I see where my mate gets his bossiness. Taking a deep breath, I


    forge ahead. “Dominic told me who my parents are.”


    Henry nods in understanding, “It must have been quite a shock… Are you disappointed, that you won’t


    be able to meet your father?”


    I shake my head fiercely, squeezing his hand as hard as I can. “I already have the only father I need.” I


    proim, and suddenly I’m not the only one who has tears in my eyes. “But I’m horrified to think that


    my – that Xavier might have ripped your family apart.” I confess, my tears returning. “That he stole your


    mate – Dominic and Roger’s mother. I don’t want to belong to his bloodline.”


    Henry clucks and brushes my hair back from my face. “None of us can change where wee from,


    E.” He states softly. “But your upbringing taught you a lesson most of us don’t learn until muchter


    in life: the family you choose can be a thousand times better than the one you were born into. Blood


    may be thicker than water – but so are a lot of things… mayonnaise, frosting, gravy…”


    A giggle breaks through my heavy emotions, and Henry smiles in return. “The point is that your father


    doesn’t have to define who you are – you have more power to decide that than most.” He continues,


    turning my chin up to look into my face. “I knew your parents fairly well, and I can tell you right now that


    I don’t see any of Xavier in you – I never have.”


    “And my mother?” I inquire shakily, not sure whether I truly want the answer to this question.


    “Your mother was one of the kindest women I’ve ever met.” Henry shares. “She was unlucky in her


    fated mate, but like you, she loved her pack, and she dreamed of children. It can’t have been easy for


    her to give you up.”


    “Do you think he knew – Xavier, I mean?” I ask. “The Goddess said he wanted an heir… would he have


    even cared about a girl? Would she have just told him the child died and kept the secret for herself?”


    “Xavier was much like Aimon.” Henry reveals, referring to Damon’s father. “He was a ruthless king,


    though his bloodline was much older and stronger than the Tyrant’s. He was willing to sacrifice a few


    for what he believed was the good of the pack, but he wasn’t without a conscience. He wasn’t mad. If


    he knew the Goddess had ordained it that you be taken into hiding, he never would have disobeyed


    her. If anything it would have given him great pride to think his child would be so important down the


    line.”


    I nod, grappling with so much knew information. “Dominic also said… he said my mother is alive.”


    Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    “She devoted herself to the Goddess once Xavier died.” Henry confirms, “Which makes a lot of sense


    now that we know about you. I’m not sure where she went. But the Goddess’s temples tend to be in


    very remote, sacred ces.”


    “Do I look like her?” I inquire, feeling strangely vulnerable now.


    Henry purses his lips. “I have a feeling that the parent you take after most is the one you’ve already


    met.”


    It takes me a moment to realize he’s referring to the Goddess, and I have to blink a few times, trying to


    recall the memory. I want to say I disagree – after all, my hair isn’t made of starlight and my eyes are


    not the endless cosmos. But the more I think about it, the more I can see simrities – albeit very dulled


    and downyed ones. My pearly white skin, eyes and hair in shades of gold I’ve never seen on


    another person, my light, willowy limbs…


    Still, the Goddess wasn’t the one who wanted me. She might have needed me, in the same way Xavier


    needed a son to carry his legacy. But my mother, the one who carried and birthed me… she’s the one


    who wanted me.


    “I want to find her.” I tell Henry suddenly. “Do you think we can track down the temple where my mother


    became a devotee?”


    His warm gaze observes me with more understanding than I can bear. “We can try. And we’ll keep


    trying until we seed.”