Chapter 139


    Chapter 139- E’s Wolf


    E


    Everything is different the moment I open my eyes.


    I don’t really want to wake up, to face a world without my baby in it, but my grief is momentarily dimmed


    by my wolf’s tion to finally be free. The temptation to bury my sorrows deep down and let myself be


    distracted is incredibly alluring, and I throw myself into denial with full force.


    Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org.


    I feel as though I’ve been asleep for days, and maybe I have, but I feel stronger and sharper than I


    have in my entire life. The lights are searing bright, and the city is still too loud, but it’s not excruciating


    like it was before. My body must have limated while I rested, bing used to sensing the world


    around me in ultra-high definition. My limbs are delightfully sore, and I revel in the feeling of thick,


    downy fur covering my body. I flex my fingers and toes, experimenting with my sharp ws and running


    my tongue over my fangs.


    Being a wolf is even better than it was in my dream, partly because I know it’s real this time, but also


    because the world around me seemspletely new. It’s as if I’m doing everything for the very first


    time, and it’s impossible not to be excited and thrilled despite the dark cloud hanging over my head.


    I’ve been so caught up in my own head that I didn’t even realize that I’m not alone until a familiar,


    rumbly purr sounds beside me, and then arge tongue swipes over my velvety muzzle. Good Morning


    Little Wolf. Sinir’s voice sounds in my mind, and I practically jump out of my skin. He chuckles and


    nuzzles his nose against mine, How do you feel?


    I look up at the giant ck wolf uncertainly, feeling guilty for my joy when… when… I can’t even think it.


    If I acknowledge what I’ve lost, then I won’t be able to pretend anymore. If I acknowledge it, then it


    bes real, and I’m not prepared to face my sorrow. A whimper slips out of my mouth, and


    understanding washes over Sinir’s canine features.


    Listen baby, how many heartbeats do you hear?


    His question is moreplicated than it should be, because I feel like I can hear every heart beating in


    the mansion. Still, I focus my attention on this room, not yet realizing why he instructed me thus. The


    gentle pulse of my own heart reaches my furry ears a fraction of a second before the steady pounding


    of Sinir’s… and there, softer and tinier than both, is a precious thump in my womb.


    Rafe? I think in amazement, certain I must be dreaming. I twist my body so I can press my nose to my


    belly, and I can smell him! Like a blend of Sinir and myself, with something else all his own. I’ve


    never smelled anything so wonderful in my entire life – even Sinir, who smells good enough to eat.


    Tears form in my eyes, but I’m still not convinced this is real. Am I hallucinating? Is this some sort of


    psychosis brought on by the trauma of losing him.


    He’s okay. Sinir’s deep bass intrudes on my thoughts, overflowing with happiness. The doctor was


    wrong.


    But how!? I think, unconsciously directing the words at my mate and stunned when I realize he can


    hear them. I’m not sure how I knew how tomunicate this way – it was simply second nature. I was


    so sure – how could he have survived that?


    The Goddess works in mysterious ways. Sinir answers with a shrug, before searching my face with


    his glowing green eyes. Can you feel the bond?”


    At first I’m afraid the answer is no, but then the pup flutters in my tummy, and a wave of contentment


    and relief radiates through my mind. I’m stunned to realize these emotions aren’t my own, but my


    baby’s. He’s relieved that I’m happy again, that I’m no longer in pain. I suddenly understand the


    connection Sinir described to me, not cohesive thoughts but bursts of emotion distinct from my own.


    Even though we’re feeling some of the same things, there’s something about his which are uniquely


    his. Now that I’m aware of it, it’s impossible to miss. No wonder I was able to distract myself so easily! I


    realize btedly. It wasn’t only my own joy I was feeling, but Rafe’s too.


    My eyes widen in ecstatic excitement, and all I can do isunch myself at Sinir, wagging my tail and


    yipping with excitement. He’s okay, he’s okay! I chant blissfully, momentarily thrown off bnce when


    Rafe sends signals of happiness up at me, responding to my enthusiasm. I can feel him. I tell Sinir in


    awe, stopped in my tracks and on the verge of tears again. I can feel you, my darling. I add to Rafe,


    overwhelmed when he pulses with pure love.


    Sinir offers me a wolfish grin, Done celebrating already, trouble? He teases, and then he pounces,


    yfully wrestling and tussling with me – until we’re rolling around on the bed like a couple of care-free


    puppies. I can hear hisughter in my head, just as I’m sure he can hear my uproarious giggles as he


    pins me and tickles my feet with his tail. I nip at his ears when he tries to nuzzle my neck, earning


    myself great slobbering kisses in reply. Eventually I manage to jump up, energy flowing through me,


    apanied by an irresistible pull to take to the forest. Somehow I know it’s night without seeing


    outside, and the moon is calling to me in a way I can’t exin.


    Let’s go for a run! I suggest eagerly, my body wiggling with excitement. Can we, can we?


    Sinir gazes lovingly up at me as I dance around on the bed. We can, once you’ve got some food in


    your tummy.


    No! I throw my head back defiantly. I want to go now.


    Sinir shaked his head and rises to his feet, giving me an imperious look as he towers over me. You


    haven’t have anything in at least 72 hours, and you’ve been through hell in the meantime.


    It hasn’t been that long! The Prince fed me. I argue, thinking he’s miscalcting.


    You’ve been asleep for two days, E. Sinir informs me gently, bumping my nose with his. It won’t


    kill you to wait, the forest will still be there in an hour. When I still don’t look convinced, he adds,


    Besides, don’t you want to fix the nest so that it’s ready when we get back.


    For the first time I look around and realize that my shift did quite a bit of damage to my nest. My teeth


    and ws must have beenshing out during my transformation, because my beautiful pillows and soft


    nkets are shredded to bits. I whine with sudden distress, at once beside myself to know my baby is


    alright, but I have no safe haven in which to grow him. Sinir shifts back into human form, and I’m


    amazed by how different he looks through my wolf eyes. He’s always been annoyingly good looking,


    but somehow he seems even more handsome than ever. His bronze skin almost glows in the bright


    lights, and the rugged nes of his face and body seem sharper, more powerful now. “It’s okay, sweet


    mate.” He murmurs, stroking my cheek. “I’ll have the servants bring new pillows and nkets while I fix


    you something. Are you craving anything in particr?”


    I shake my head in denial, too preupied with my ruined nest to focus on anything else. In the end,


    the time passes in the blink of an eye, as I fuss and fret over remaking the space perfectly. Sinir has


    to literally drag me away in order to convince me to eat, and only the promise of a moonlit run


    convinces me to walk awaypletely.


    When we get to the forest Sinir shifts again, and I immediately provoke him into a chase. Now that


    my wolf is awake, his power is starker, more visceral, and I feel it constantly. For some I supposed it


    might be frightening, but for me it’s nothing short of thrilling. It excites me and reassures me at once,


    while also tempting me to no end. I want to poke and prod at it, to see if it’s really as vast as it seems.


    It’s as if his dominance and authority is a giant red button saying “do not push” and Goddess help me,


    but all I want to do is push it.


    I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am in this moment – even though thest few days have


    been a nightmare. I’m finally the person I was always meant to be, I have a mate who loves me, and a


    baby on the way. I feel so incredibly free, and when Sinir catches me and pins me to the ground with


    a sexy growl, I only feel more fulfilled.


    It’s time to go home, trouble. Hemands huskily.


    But I don’t want to shift back. Iin, not for the sake of challenging him anymore, but because I’m


    genuinely afraid of the process.


    Why not? Sinir inquires, nibbling my nape.


    I’m scared… it’s going to hurt. I admit.


    No, sweetheart, not this time. From now on you’ll be able to shift in only a few minutes, and the more


    you do it, the sooner it will be that you can change in a split second. It will hurt a little – but not like


    before. He exins tenderly.


    I don’t know how to do it. I object then, purely making excuses.


    Well that’s too bad. Sinir replies, giving me a sly look as he feigns nonchnce. Because I can’t


    im you until you shift back, i


    im me? I respond curiously, my wolf perking up with sensual interest.


    That’s right. He confirms, a sh of fire in his sultry gaze. Unless you no longer want my mark?


    No! I correct him, embarrassingly quickly. I want it.


    Then shift, mate. He orders again. And I’ll give it to you. ?