Nolo Point of View


    Because that woman was me


    Because that woman was me


    Because that woman was me…


    What the damn is she doing? Did she just confess to my Nonna that she was the woman who left her grandson?


    Snap it, what the heck is she thinking, going about at confessing my Nonna at such a sensitive time?


    Although our intention was purely to get a jealous reaction from her previously and im her love for me publically, this was not we were expecting; at least, not this soon.


    The room was embraced by pin drop silence. Nonna was shocked herself by the sudden revtion and did not try to mask her stun. Mrs. Jones, on the other hand, was looking at Be in disbelief and confusion, simr to mine.


    Be fidgeted from one foot to another at the ominous silence that filled the room. She didn’t dare to raise her head and look at Nonna but she kept on stealing nces towards me to gauge the ambiance.


    Nonna, after watching Be like a hawk for good few minutes, cleared her throat, gaining our attention. “And you are telling me this now, because?” Nonna asked in a neutral unfazed tone that she usually used while attending a business or an official setup.


    She is testing Be. I know it by the look on her face that she is going to pretend she doesn’t know anything about it and test her about her intentions.


    “Because it has started to be overwhelming to me.” Be answered. Her quivering voice a strange devastation that pierced my heart. I wanted to butt in and stop Be but one look from Nonna stopped me.


    She wanted to get to the bottom of Be’s thoughts and feeling today, now that the revtion has been taking ce.


    “Did you know I was his grandmother when I took you in?” Nonna asked to which Be shook her head iming that she had no idea who she was until I arrived here.


    “I was nning to hide myself from Nolo, Mrs. ra. I had no intention of meeting him face to face; not at least anytime soon. It came as a shock to me to see him here.” She stated truthfully.


    “Be…” I trailed off, trying to stop her from hurting herself. She chose to talk about us to Nonna and I can see how much it is hurting her. And I also know that most of her hurt is because she thinks that the whole world is against her and my union.


    Though she is partly correct, she is partly not as well. She is failing to understand that as long as we have our family approval, nosy world should not matter anymore.


    “I’m not your grandson’s worth, Mrs. ra. I know I was never the moment we met.” She said and was about to continue but Nonna’s remark took her by surprise.


    “And yet you are here, talking to me about the same person whom you hurt the most.” Nonna’sment made furious. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow at her for being too tough on Be.


    My Be, who is too coward yet so strong, was trying to make things clear and Nonna was making it hard for her to talk freely.


    Nonna blinked at me for a couple of times and turned her attention to Be who stood there like a statue. “I am hurting too, Mrs. ra. I might look like I’m working here, earning my keep, but I am hurting too.” Be replied back a little loud this time and immediately gasped when she realized what she said.


    “I’m sorry. I have reasons for what I did, Mrs. ra.” She took a deep breath trying to gulp down tears which are forming in her eyes. Her eyes are moist now but she is controlling herself from breaking down.


    Mrs. Jones, being very close friends with Nonna, gestured her to tone it down a little. Even I had to whisper her not to make it anymore tough for my Be and listen to herpletely.


    I want to stop everything and take my Be away from here but what is going on should happen one day or the other and I want Be to get it done as soon as possible so she can get rid of her fear.


    “You wouldn’t understand the feeling to be with a person whom you love so much but can never be yours ever. I might had not expressed it to him but from the moment I started having feelings for him was when I started killing myself from inside. To be frank with you, I regret a lot to fall in love with him; at least I would have had the opportunity to keep him close to me as a friend.” A tear rolled down from my eye when she said that.


    Please stop it, Be. You are hurting yourself by talking about this. I understand so please stop.


    I noticed Nonna’s eyes soften at her assertion while Mrs. Jones is close to tears. Be had to stop and heave for a while to continue what she was saying. This feeling, this conversation is crushing her.


    “Years ago when I was forced to sell myself to pay the debt myte parents made, I thought I would be living in a hell with no ray of hope whatsoever. I was standing on a stage with a skimpy outfit which showed a lot of my skin than I liked. Men were ogling at me like I was an ice cream in a hot summer and I was so dumb to not understand the depth of their atrocious res. I was at the age where I was nning to finish my school early with a gold medal possibly and go to university with a schrship. Look where it took me.” She smiled wryly, smiling mocking at her own fate.


    I fisted my hand when her vulnerability hit me like a tornado. I was on my feet in seconds and went to her to take her in my arms and whisk her away from here but before I can touch her, she raised a hand stopping me from approaching her.


    I froze beside her when she wiped her tears and looked at me determinedly. “When my life was at the blink of disaster, a young man auctioned and bought me for a couple of nights. I was so terrified and helpless to go near anyone, male or female after the torture I went through. I was so na?ve to think that selling your body is having to kiss a man. I didn’t know what sex was. But this young man I met was so good to be true. He took me to his room and fed me with delicious sandwich and you know what he said, he said he spend millions of dors because he wanted a person to talk to and he wanted to be my friend. Well, that was not expected.” She chuckled to herself but the trail of tears waspletely another story.


    This time, I noticed moist in my Nonna’s eyes and a small smile when she nced at me.


    “Later on he paid of my debt and made me his permanent mistress, saving me from other men. We became friends and slowly enough, we were each other’s best friends. To me, he was the only person for whom I was living. He gave me a sense and a reason to live. He was my only friend, only rtive, only teacher and my only guide. While he started falling in love with me secretly, I was so consumed with the precious friendship we had. I was at the point where I needed nothing more than him and his friendship. He was the sun, moon and gravity of my life.” Mrs. Jones immediately stood up and provided a ss of water to Be when we realized she was hyperventting.


    Be sat on a chair and gulped the water but did not stop as she is so firm to exin herself. I, on the other hand, didn’t know what to do. I want to hug her andfort her but she is not allowing me to do so. I’m just so stuck between letting her free from her burden and take her away from the pain.


    “Be, it’s okay. Please stop it.” I pleaded looking at how pale she turned. She shook her head negatively and continued stubbornly.


    “What can I ever want more in my life? I had a great person who paid off my debt and showed me a way to live. But then, life yed another sick joke with me. I unknowingly, unintentionally fell in love with him. I was blindly and so deeply into him and to top with that, he was the only person I ever know and can talk to. He slowly became my very breath. But the moment he confessed his feeling for me and the moment I realized my feelings for him was the time my doom has started. After a lot of trouble we became one in every sense and he was my first in everything. He was so happy with me and trusted me so much, enough to share his darkest secrets with me. I was so happy with him and the amount of joy I felt with the increasing love for him had no boundaries. But unknown to him or anyone, I was killing myself. Our love for each other was killing me emotionally because I do know that this rtionship and these feelings have no favorable future. I knew he can never be mine.”


    “Because I’m not worthy enough to be with him.”


    ~*~*~*~*~*~N?velDrama.Org holds ? this.