JUNO


    OCTOBER 1986


    LEVEL <error>


    The surface of the wooden pole is completely smeared with red. Chunks of raw of matter and flesh are glued across it like paper.


    It’s slowly dripping all over the horrendous blocks of grass that are supposed to make up the ground. Red transformed into green.


    Player 099234 is silent.


    He continues to sit and watch the endless sky. Somehow, this is different from the last time I was here. We are not anywhere in a forest, but in an open field, lush with square red and white flowers. Oddly enough, it is neither hot or cold. But I have no time to ponder such things—there is only one thing I remember clearly about this place.


    The beasts will be back any minute.


    I forget how to move in my new body and fall flat upon my face. Scrambling forward, I stumble to the foot of the pole. With a distorted paw, I try to wave a paw across Player 099234’s blood soaked face. His bloodshot eyes do not flicker, but I know he is alive, because his chest is rising. Slowly. But at least it is moving. Yet is he very, very still. He clearly can’t last much longer, and when the game resets, he’ll be in a worse place.


    ”No, no, no—not again!” Surely, there must be a way to get him down. Maybe there is a stone, something sharp to saw away the wood. But there is only soft grass, warmed by the glowing rays of the pixelated sun above. And that horrendous background music. I can’t figure out where it’s exactly coming from. I could break the pole apart. But that only will cause Player 099234 more pain. He’ll bleed out and die—enter a new cycle.


    Will this game reset?


    “Look,” I say to Player 099234, although I strongly doubt that he can hear me at all. “I’m going to get you out of this, I swear. Just stay calm. I’ll figure something out.”


    A thin line of drool slowly escapes from the corner of his mouth. He draws a weak breath.


    Stamina. I try to close my eyes, attempting to do what I did last time. Stamina. Stamina. Come on. The sharp pain in my head does not come. I grit my teeth, waiting for some text to randomly appear in front of me, but nothing. A chill runs down my unnaturally shaped body as I frantically try to focus.


    Nothing.


    Come on. Think. Think.


    No. I can’t think.


    My thoughts are exposed. My abductor knows my every move. They figured they left me off too easy before. Stamina? That is too easy. It is only a thing of the past. In this world, it does not exist. In desperation, I glance around at the empty grass field. There is a strange soundtrack playing in the background, although more distorted, out of tune. But I hear the beasts. The beasts are coming. They are coming from afar, and their footsteps can be felt. Player 099234 is meat on a stick for them. His face is scrunched up—he senses they are arriving. His broken limbs hang helplessly on the pole, swinging back and forth in the artificial wind.


    I have nothing.


    What do I have?


    When I gaze at my paws, a pixelated flame first erupts. It is a spark, before gradually growing bigger until my left palm is completely engulfed in it. I lick my dried lips as a hot wind settles over us. Now, I remember. I remember now. The sky is slowly changing colors. The sun is setting rapidly. Now I remember.


    Why would my abductor let me have powers? I try to remind myself not to overthink. The less I think—the less exposed my thoughts are. The less they understand, they know.


    And they know.


    Let’s make a deal, I think. Shall we?


    There is a cold air settling over us.


    I know you can hear me. I know you can see me. You always complain that I ignore you. So here I am. I am ready to talk to you.


    Still nothing. I have no choice left. I see many red eyes gathering in the distance. They are glowing. Hungry. They are waiting for Player 099234’s soul. His eyes are glazed over.


    You obviously want to do this your way. So we will. We’ll play this game your way.


    Nothing. But I know my abductor is listening.


    If I kill every single beast here, you let Player 099234 go. You must let us advance to the next level without crashing the game like before. My throat hurts. You won’t lay a finger on him again. You leave him alone. You also let me and my son leave this house for good. You give me my child back. And you turn yourself in. You come clean with the police and tell them everything that you’re done.


    No response.


    If I fail, then I’ll stay with you forever. I’ll be yours. That’s what you really want, isn’t it? That’s why you doing all of this. You’re not a bad person. You just want someone to hold you close. And I understand. I really do.


    It’s like talking to one of my clients in New York. Being a slut does have some major perks, after all. But I’m not lying in someone’s bedroom or in the passenger seat of their car. So I reluctantly force myself to continue.


    I know what it is like to be lonely. I know how it seems like you’re the only person in the world sometimes. Like there’s an hole in the inside that can’t be filled. I can fix that.


    More silence.


    I’ll never try to run away from you again. I shiver, even though the words make me ill. God, what am I even saying? I’ll let you love me. I’ll do whatever you please or ask of me. And we can build a home together. I’ll be your family.


    I already know my abductor won’t play fair. I’m biting off much more than I can possibly chew. It’s practically a wishlist at this point. But I really need a solution.


    We’ll be family. I swallow hard. My skin is crawling the thought is passing through my mind. Forever. You’ll never have to be lonely again or return to an empty house. You will have a loving family who will support you.


    There is a pause.


    Don’t you want a family?


    I take a slow breath. The urge to scream and curse is too much, but I know I must stay composed. My son is depending on me. I need to adapt to my surroundings. I must be one with them. I try my best to focus again.


    Do we have a deal, programmer?


    It is night time. The sky is dark.


    Do have one or not?


    Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.


    I like a good challenge.


    Ah. I hold my breath. I wait as the strange colored text changes in front of my vision.


    I’m in a very generous mood today. So I’ll give you three chances to regenerate once you fail to complete a level. You’ll restart automatically. Once you run out, you are completely mine.


    Shivers run down my spine. Three golden stars suddenly appear above my head like a demented halo. They follow me where I go.


    And when I finish the game, I win. Without you intentionally crashing anything. You’re not allowed to pull me out until that happens. The game should only restart if I lose. Get it?


    When you lose. But I play fair. If you only knew who you were defending, you’d think twice.


    I clench my jaw.


    I admire your confidence.


    Then we have a deal?


    Deal.


    The screeching continues in the distance.


    They are impossible to ignore. The beasts come with their snarling white teeth and saliva. They are only just now starting for flood all parts of the large green field, claws leaving marks against the ground. The orange and red flames glow brightly in my paws, the bright light flickering over Player 099234’s limp form. His large, swollen eyes have shifted over to me, with what remaining strength he has. They are filled with pain and desperation, and a tear escapes down his cheek. I do not care who he is. I know he has a family, longing for his safe return every day.


    I’m about to piss myself as I step forward.


    * * * * * * *


    I don’t know how these controls exactly work.


    Everytime I move left, I shift right.


    The opposite of what I intend to do always occurs, and I’m viciously slammed across the field, watching my health bar drop by 20%. My left eye is so puffy, it’s hard to see out of it. Something sinks into the flesh of my pink thigh?—I think it’s a leg—I don’t know what this body is supposed to be. My skull is grounded into the earth, and unimaginable pain seeps through my flesh. My body is glitching as my health bar enters the yellow zones. A thirty percent loss. I attempt to shoot another fireball, but the flames don’t catch on.


    My health bar is at bloody 10%.


    The flames barely leave a mark on the beast who’s having a full course meal on my leg. And then it hits me. The powers were simply a decoy from the Programmer. I have no defensive abilities whatsoever. I am as worthless as a slug. I grit my teeth and, in great desperation, try to beat the crap out of the thing that’s enjoying my mangled flesh. If I am to die, I will make sure to do it with dignity. It suddenly looks at me with great anger, its bright red eyes boring into my soul, before releasing an earth shattering scream. Just as it’s about to completely rip my head off, it suddenly stops and freezes in its tracks.


    Player 099234 can’t move, although he’s barely visible amongst the crowd of beings already tearing off his flesh (again) in great chunks. He doesn’t look angry at all at me, and attempts to give me a polite nod. He has accepted my failure. I try to shout at him, but I can’t turn my head to do so. I cannot even open my mouth. I am utterly, utterly stupid.


    At this point, we’ll never make it to Level 2.


    * * * * * * *


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    ”Hey.” There’s a tapping on my shoulder. Something. A dark blue shape. It’s shaking my shoulders. “Come back to me. That’s it.”


    I cough and attempt to scramble to my feet. The blue figure helps me. I’m still pretty banged up, but my health bar is somewhere in the mid thirties range. There are numbers and Player 099234‘s sprite design all over the place. There is no grass or sky, just static gray. It’s hurting my eyes, making it hard to see. Two rough paws are on my shoulder.


    ”Look at me, kid.” The blue figure makes me face them. The voice is deeper, yet older, sort of reminding me of Tom’s. But there ia a strong California accent attached to it. “I can’t hold this glitch much longer, or else the Programmer will get suspicious. You’re going to get yourself killed if you don’t listen. And as for the deal you made, that was a terrible decision. What the hell are you thinking?”


    “I was just trying to help,” I reply.


    “You need convince the Programmer to let you out of this place. Get you and your son to the police, now. You’re far too young to be worrying about deadbeat souls like us. We’ve already acknowledged our fate. We don’t have the option to leave. You do.”


    I tilt my head to the side. ”I just have to get to the final level. The Programmer will—”


    ”What the hell makes you think they’ll let you keep their end of the bargain?” the blue creature scoffed. “You’re not helping anyone. You’re only making things worse for yourself. You’re going to lose the bet in five minutes flat. You have no experience with this, clearly. There is no consistency with this game, in case you didn’t notice. The rules change each and every time after it either crashes or resets. I’ve tried to rejuvenate your abilities, but you lack any skill with them.”


    ”Isn’t that cheating?”


    ”Programmer cheated first. They deactivated your powers. They’re not going to play fair.”


    “I really suck at this game,” I say.


    ”Of course you do. I don’t think you’ve ever held a joystick in your life. All the more reason to try your luck in the real world.” He sighs. “It’s been ages since I…well, I won’t go into detail. Just on getting home. Stop trying to be a hero. It’s practically embarrassing.”


    I tilt my head to the side. “How do you know how to create a glitch like this in the system?”


    The blue creature turns his pixelated head. “Look. There isn’t enough time that I can keep it like this. And I’ve been here since ‘78, okay? I kind get to see the run of the mill.” He points at my health bar and the yellow star. “If you decide to stay, that is on you. Managed to fix up your health bar some. But you’re on your own. And I’ve better return back to my level.” His dark eyes lower. “Now please go.”


    Your level?


    ”Wait,” I try again. “Where did you come from?” I eagerly step forward. “Are there more of you? Perhaps I can talk to—”


    ”You’re wasting your time,” he bellows. “What the hell do you think this is, a social club? You want to become one of us—doomed to repeat the same level over and over again for another twenty years? Have you lost your mind? You…you have a real body to return to. I don’t. I don’t have anything left of me. Eight long years of wasting away. Pondering about what I should’ve done. What I should’ve done. Now enough with this already.”


    ”But you must have some—”


    ”Damn it, kid! I know nothing about this. Like I said, I’ve been here for almost a decade.” His voice cracked. “You…I had a daughter once, okay? You remind me of her. I….” He shakes his head and turns away. “Just don’t say that I didn’t warn you, with whatever you’ll do next. This is the only time I will be able to help you. So you better make use of it now.” He winces in pain. “I can’t stay long. I really have to go back.”


    ”Will I see you again?” I take a step forward. “I…owe you one. Thank you. Truly.”


    He gives me a dark look, before turning away.


    “What’s your name? Mine is Juno.”


    ”Name?” the blue creature whispers. “Name. No one’s asked me that for a while.”


    ”Well you have one, don’t you?”


    He looks thoughtful for a moment. “Nolan,” he mumbles under his breath.


    ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Player 099234 groans as he shifts his body to the side. The field is burnt to a crisp, next to the shriveled remains of the beasts. He is bleeding and bruised up, but is lying on the ground. The pole that once impaled his body is completely gone —and I try my best to eliminate any thoughts. I cannot think.


    Someone helped you.


    I cannot think. I cannot think. I cannot think.


    It is almost dawn. I can see the next group of beasts coming our way, like a herd of sheep. This time, when I release a fireball, it coats the corpse of a beast into flames. I exhale.


    There is a rapid shuffling next to me, and I am surprised to see Player 099234 up on his feet. He is wearily clutching his bright yellow side. He silently holds my paw. We glance at each other for a moment, before making our way to the creatures rushing to us.