Shanty life sucked. First, it was freezing in there. I took everything out of my bag then bundled myself up in three layers of clothes, wrapped myself in a sleeping bag, used four blankets, and piled the rest of my clothes on top of that. It didn’t help. I was still cold.
We arrived so late that I missed dinner. I huddled under the mountain of clothes and blankets as I looked at a hole in the ceiling. Green light from the planet in the sky poured into the tiny room, reminding me just how dire my situation was.
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<tbody>
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<td valign="top">
Current Temperature: 42 Degrees Fahrenheit.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
“Can we do anything to make it warmer in here?” I spoke out loud, not worried about being overheard.
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" valign="middle">
Your house is too cold
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Structural Modification
</td>
<td valign="middle">
+100 Temperature control
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Start a fire
</td>
<td valign="middle">
+50 Heat +50 Risk of Burning
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
“Can I do any of that in the next five minutes?”
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
You can make a fire in under one minute. Would you like to proceed? Y/N?
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
“What are the odds of burning this hut down?”
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<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
95%
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
I rolled over, squeezing my eyes shut. It was obvious I couldn’t start a fire. Still, it wouldn’t let me sleep.
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<td valign="top">
Would you like to start a fire? Y/N?
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
Rolling my eyes, I turned to look up at the ceiling again. “No! Sometimes you have to realize if I don’t answer you that just means I don’t want to talk. What should I call you anyway?”
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<td valign="top">
I do not understand. Please clarify.
</td>
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</tbody>
</table>
“Do you have a name?”
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<tr>
<td colspan="3" valign="top">
My only job is to provide information about the world around you. What purpose would a name serve?
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
“Well, for one thing, it would give me something to call you when I’m talking to you. You can’t just assume everything I say is meant for you.”
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<td valign="top">
Very well. You may call me System Interface 3.14159265359
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
“Wait, isn’t that Pi? I think I’ll call you Pi.”
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<tbody>
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<td valign="top">
Would you like to assign me the name Pi? Y/N?
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
“I just said yes. Now Pi, I’m going to bed. Good night.”
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<tbody>
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<td valign="top">
Warning: Your bladder is 67% full. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to urinate before sleeping? It is optimal to visit the restroom before resting.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
Pi had a point. I tossed and turned for a few minutes before conceding. “Fine! Where is the toilet?”
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Unfortunately, your home does not have any such accommodations. The nearest suitable location is the forest behind the monastery.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
“Forget it!” I grumbled, squeezing my eyes shut. “Good night, Pi.”
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<td valign="top">
Good night, Alexander Krup.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
“Alex is fine.”
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<td valign="top">
Good night, Alex.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<hr>
I didn’t get much sleep that night. My new neighbors turned out to be a couple and they were quite loud. I had just fallen asleep when the moaning began, waking me up all over again.
It felt as though I’d only slept for minutes when Pi woke me once again.
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<td valign="top">
Bladder reaching maximum capacity (97%). It is highly recommended that you urinate soon.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
I pulled a pillow over my head and grumbled. “Pi! I can feel it. You don’t need to announce that every time.”
I hobbled one hundred yards to find the nearest bush to piss on. Barely managing to unzip and pull down three pairs of pants and even more underwear, I began watering the local foliage.
“Ahh, sweet relief!” I sighed, looking up to see a group of young children watching me curiously.
I yelped and jumped into the brush to hide. When I poked my head out, they had gone. I saw them in the distance running toward the monastery in a fit of giggles.
I removed the extra layers and stuffed them back in my bag before following the kids into the monastery. Up close, the large building was even more beat up than I thought it was. Parts of the walls crumbled after years of wear and tear with far too little maintenance.
Nobody answered me when I knocked on the front door. I pushed the door open and called out. “Hello. Is anybody home?”
Sounds of giggling echoed through the halls along with the chatter of childish voices. I followed the sound until I came to a large dining hall. It was comprised of a pair of tables pushed together with no tablecloth in a room next to a makeshift kitchen.
Due to a lack of chairs, the children had taken to using anything they could find for seats. Boxes, stacks of wood, and stools lined the table and each one had a kid sitting on it.
An elderly woman at the back of the room looked up when the kids stopped talking. “Oh, good morning dear. You must be the new adventurer. They told me you’d be coming.”
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<td colspan="2" valign="middle">
Mary
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
Level
</td>
<td valign="top">
1
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Class
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Nun
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Affection Level
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Magnanimous
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
I nodded, brushing away the menu. “That’s right. I was told I can get a meal here.”
She flashed me a smile and motioned to the table. “Children, make room for our guest. He is going to be joining us for meals from now on.”
A collective groan rose from the children. “Aw, does he have to? There’s never enough food to go around.”
“Children! Where are your manners?” Mary scolded. “I’m so sorry. I do try to teach them proper manners.”
I took the lone chair offered by the oldest kid. He then proceeded to bump another kid off of a box and take that seat for himself with a smirk on his face. The kid glared at him but sat on the floor.
Taking the seat, I decided to question Pi mentally.
Is food a problem here? Is there anything I can do to help feed these kids?
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<td colspan="2" valign="middle">
Options
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
Buy them food
</td>
<td valign="top">
-100 Gold. +100 Renown
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Hunt/Gather food
</td>
<td valign="middle">
+100 Renown
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Let them fend for themselves
</td>
<td valign="middle">
No Adverse Effects
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
I chuckled at the menu before brushing it away. It turned out that I could buy renown. If I had gold that was. My other option was hunting or gathering. It was time to look into that.
Is there edible food in the forest?
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<tbody>
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<td valign="top">
Yes. It is dangerous to go alone. Monsters lurk in the forest.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
Can we eat them?
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<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
Most monsters are a great source of protein.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
By the time I swiped away the last message, Mary had placed a bowl of what looked like gruel in front of me. I looked out over the table and noticed that the children’s portions were significantly smaller than mine.
I looked up at Mary and said, “I can’t take this much. Share some of it for the kids.”
She shook her head and explained. “I’m sorry. It’s part of your contract that you receive a certain amount of food per day. If I don’t feed you, I will lose government funding.”
“They never said anything about stealing the food from children,” I sighed, pushing the bowl away and standing up. “I might be back for lunch. You can let the kids eat this.”
Once I was outside again, I looked back at the row of shanties.
Pi, what is the best course of action for the day? How can I be the most productive?
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<tbody>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" valign="middle">
Potential Activities
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Gather food for the children
</td>
<td valign="middle">
+100 Renown. +20 Danger
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Upgrade Home: Insulation
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Error: Missing Components
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Upgrade Home: Soundproofing
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Error: Missing Components
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Introductions
</td>
<td valign="middle">
+10 Faction with villagers
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Hunt Monsters (Weapon Recommended)
</td>
<td valign="middle">
+100 Renown +50 Danger
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Improve Stamina (Jogging)
</td>
<td valign="middle">
+5 Constitution
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Improve Strength (Pushups)
</td>
<td valign="middle">
+5 Strength
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Sleep All Day
</td>
<td valign="middle">
No Status Gain
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
I scanned the list. Pi was somewhat helpful. I noticed a few of the tasks could be combined.
Where do we get components to upgrade the house?
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<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
Basic materials can be found in the forest. Further upgrades will require the assistance of artisans in the village.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
So, can we gather food and other materials in the forest?
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<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
Yes.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
That’s what we’re doing then. Who knows, I might even get some exercise.
I entered the forest, careful to stay away from the bush I pissed in earlier. The area around the monastery reminded me of the forests back home in North Carolina. The only difference was I didn’t recognize the sounds I heard in the distance. Faint yipping came from somewhere so I made it a point to explore in the opposite direction.
The system helpfully identified potential items for me to focus on.
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Items in the forest
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Grobb Nuts
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Edible - Legume
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Chapples
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Edible - Fruit
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Rip Weed
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Edible - Vegetable
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Leaves
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Insulation
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Twigs and Branches
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Crafting Material
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Unidentified Artifact
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Unknown Uses
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
The last entry had me the most intrigued.
Where do I find the artifact?
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<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
These are examples of items you may find. I cannot identify anything unless you see them first.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
So much for cheating.
I made my way through the forest, tossing pretty much everything I came across in my bag. I was surprised by how easy it was to find fruits and berries. It quickly became apparent that not everything made it into the initial list.
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<tbody>
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<td valign="top">
Alert: You just collected sprinklegrass. It causes hallucinogenic effects when consumed. When burned it creates a pink smoke that causes paralysis.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
While my primary focus was food, I made it a point to pick up any branch or log that looked like it would be useful for upgrading my house and stuffed it into my backpack.
My stomach began to growl as the day wore on so I grabbed a handful of grobb nuts and examined them. They were easy enough to shell. Kind of like a peanut. The flavor was bitter, unlike any nut I’d ever tasted. The problem was, it was making me thirsty.
Pi, where can I find something to drink?
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<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
There is a river two hundred yards to the south.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
Which way is south?
Pi didn’t like that question. I waited five minutes while it came up with a solution. Suddenly a glowing blue trail appeared in front of me, leading through the thick shrubs.
The forest was so dense I had to wind my way through trees and bushes but eventually, I started to hear running water in the distance. When the forest thinned, I discovered a winding river running as far as I could see in both directions.
Is it safe to drink?
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<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
The water has a 99.97% chance of giving you diarrhea.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
Is there anything I can do to prevent that?
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" valign="middle">
Options
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
Boil the water
</td>
<td valign="top">
Decrease chance by 99%
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Build Immunity
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Decrease chance over time
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
While I didn’t necessarily want the runs, I was way too lazy to boil water every time I wanted a drink. I made my way over to the river, made a bowl with my hands, and scooped up the cool water. Then I took a sip.
Well, at least it doesn’t taste bad.
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<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
Affliction Acquired: The Runs (6 hours)
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
Thanks for letting me know!
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
You are very welcome, Alex.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
Learn sarcasm!
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<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
Your sarcasm was noted and answered in kind.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
I groaned as I realized the irony of it. Outsmarted by a machine, or was Pi an AI? Truth be told, I knew next to nothing about whatever Pi was.
Just as I was about to return to the woods, I noticed a flash of movement on the other side of the river.
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" valign="middle">
Fobear
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
Level
</td>
<td valign="top">
3
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Class
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Rank C Monster
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Affection Level
</td>
<td valign="middle">
Predator
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
That will kill you. You do not want to engage that monster at your current level.
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
Fortunately, the monster that was a cross between a fox and a bear either wasn’t interested in getting wet or it didn’t see me as worthy prey. Either way, I put it behind me and rushed back into the forest.
Once the monster was out of sight, I checked my inventory.
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" valign="middle">
Collection Results
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Grobb Nuts
</td>
<td valign="middle">
252
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Chapples
</td>
<td valign="middle">
17
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Rip Weed
</td>
<td valign="middle">
33
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Leaves
</td>
<td valign="middle">
455
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Twigs and Branches
</td>
<td valign="middle">
71
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Unidentified Artifact
</td>
<td valign="middle">
0
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Sprinklegrass
</td>
<td valign="middle">
10
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="middle">
Pebbles
</td>
<td valign="middle">
52
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
I was a little frustrated that I never found the artifact. Something told me it was important. However, I was more than satisfied with my haul, so I decided to make my way back to town.
I made it back to the monastery before realizing that I forgot to collect any water for later. It wouldn’t be fun to have to go back to the river every time I wanted a drink.
My goal had been to collect enough food to feed the orphans but I failed. While I didn’t earn the renown, I did manage to get enough to feed myself a couple of meals. At least I wouldn’t be eating theirs.
The system didn’t give me any time to rest.
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
What would you like to do next?
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>