“You knew, didn’t you?” I whisper.
“Shh, love.” He bends and gently kisses my forehead.
“I tried, I’m sorry. I tried my hardest to beat this. To stay with you,” I whisper.
His face screws up in pain and his eyes fill with tears. “To spend one day in your arms was worth
it,” he whispers.
The tears fill my eyes and I frown knowing it’s time.
“star, get Ester.” I hold my hand for him to bring her up to the bed.
He screws up his face and bends to pick up his daughter who is ying on the floor. Our little girl
with the blonde ringlets and therge blue eyes. He sits her on the bed next to me and she leans over
and squeals in delight as she grips my face.
“I love you, baby,” I whisper.
She gargles andughs in joy, and I smile at the happiness she holds within her. She’s a true gift in
life.
My eyes rise to my beautiful, broken star. Tears stream down his face. He is inconsble. “Take
care of Daddy,” I whisper to Ester. “I love you, baby. Mummy loves you very much. I have written
letters for you and Daddy will give them to you on your birthday each year.” She continues her happy
ying on the bed with her blocks.Text property ? N?vel(D)ra/ma.Org.
I hold my hand out for star and he brings his head down to mine, our foreheads touch. “I love
you,” he whispers through his tears.
I close my eyes in pain. “I love you, too.” I run my fingers through his stubble onest time.
He sobs loudly.
“Find me, star,” I whisper.
“I will. You know I will.” He smiles into the side of my face. “We get to do this again, baby. Our
love will never be over,” he whispers.
I strain a smile. “Yes,” I murmur as I feel myself losing consciousness. “Find me, star,” I
breathe.
And to the sound of his soft sobs in the silence, I turn and walk toward the light.
A gunshot rings out and I jump with a start.
Holy fuck.
I pant as I try to control my erratic heartbeat.
Did that just happen? How did I just remember that?
He knew,
All along he knew.
I put both of my hands over my mouth so I don’t cry out loud.
star loses me in every life.
I die young.
In every life.
He didn’t push me away to give me a choice, he pushed me away to try and save my life.
Oh God.
My heart hurts.
This man, this beautiful man who I love with all of my heart, finds me and loves me… even though he
knows what pain he is going to put himself through by doing so. My mind goes back to his painting that he
won the award for.
Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. By Aesop.
Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow…
Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow…
That sentence has just taken on a whole new meaning. The shadow is my death. He had been focusing
on my death and he had lost sight of the substance. Me.
Oh, my poor star. My poor darling man. He hasn’t told me because he hasn’t wanted me to live in
this shadow. The fear of dying.
He is still protecting me.
I get up on shaky legs and walk to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I turn on the light and
stare at my reflection in the mirror.
The gunshot rings through my head and I see Henry fall to the ground… Elizabeth’s father killed him
when he was trying to rescue her from the cer.
How can that be?
I put my head into my hands as my face screws up in pain. I weep for Alchron and for Henry and I
now know why I only remember those two lives.
star died before me in those two lives.
He sacrificed his life twice for me and I remember-I remember how painful it was.
Sadness falls over me.
This is why he worries about me.
This is why he has to control all things in his environment because he has no control over the shadow
of fate. His anxiety is borne from a fear of the future. He’s scared of watching me die and not being abled
to stop it.