Sea eyes


    I nevermunicated with the Attorney who introduced himself to me again since, in addition to not


    contacting him, I did not provide him with my contact information. Part of me wants to believe, while


    the other half wants me to remain cautious.


    For the sake of myself and Stanley, I haven''t even spoken to Andrius again. I blocked his number


    and didn''t leave the house too much, so we couldn''t meet. I had no idea my due date would be next


    week. Not only that, but I''m getting close to seeing my baby, and Stanley''s long-awaited wedding is


    also approaching.


    It seems like only yesterday that I was inside Andrius'' house, waiting for his return, like a puppy


    waiting for its master toe so that it may be petted. I never imagined that someone woulde


    into my life and offer attention to me freely when I didn''t ask for it, without me pleading for it, yet…


    Something appears to have been lost. There remains a gap in my heart that, no matter how much I


    fill it, that whatever I believed was missing remains unfilled. My heart was hammering as I tried to


    recognize the person I wanted to unloved since my heart still wants to love its old owner. Was it


    historically? Is that person still in control of my heart? It was as though, even if my heart was


    damaged several times, it would strive to put itself back together so that it might be okay again.


    I''ll be heading to the altar in front of the man Imitted to being with for the rest of my life in a few


    months.


    “Caroline, do you have all of your clothes in order? What about the baby''s clothes?” Stanley


    knocked on the door, even though it was open and all he had to do was enter. But he was different;


    he felt it would be better not to step on things that he saw to be red gs for me.


    “You appear to be even more ecstatic than I am. I''m done; I fixed it earlier. All I have to do now is


    put it in the bag. Come on in,” I said as I rose to pick up the bag in which I nned to store the


    baby''s clothing.


    He dashed by me as I was going to bow down; I was having difficulty bending down since nothing


    was moving in my bones whenever I tried to. He snatched the bag I wanted to put the clothing in


    since I had dropped it earlier and was too sluggish to pick it up.


    I giggle because I resemble a frog. Because I ate too much, my arms grew toorge. The individual


    who brings me cheese has likewise ceased sending me cheese… Even though I''m used to it that


    someone always delivers cheese.


    I once walked to the front gate only to inquire whether any cheese had arrived. Stanley is still


    unaware of that until now.


    Stanley hugged me from behind when he put on the clothing. I cracked a grin. I''m not doing it


    because I want to. But I don''t want him to think I''m being unjust to him. If only I could ask someone


    to who I am being unfair.


    Is it Andrius who is attempting toe to me and atone for his sins?


    To Stanley, who has done nothing but support me. He did nothing except make me feel important


    and strong. The person who has done nothing but love me and made me feel loved every day, and


    who chooses me every day…


    Or me.


    Am I being unfair to myself because I can’t allow myself to be happy? That the day will still end,


    they are still what I think. The day stilles when I always me myself for why I hurt them both.


    I grabbed his hugging hand in mine and just cherished his embraces while trying to brighten the


    mood of the room even more. “What would she look like? Will she have a pointy nose? Red lips? Or


    will the eyshes be as long as mine?”


    He rested his chin on my shoulder and murmured in my ear since my ear and his mouth were so


    near. When ites to Andrius and Stanley, you can tell the difference in my body''s reaction with


    only a few minor motions.


    If Andrius were to make a whisper in my ear, my body hair would surely grow but when it came to


    Stanley, I would feel nothing. Even my heart did not react.


    ConTEent bel0ngs to N?v(e)lD/rama(.)Org .


    I ignored everything. I always imprinted in my mind that the day woulde too. Time wille.


    Time wille. If I still need to get a tattoo on my body, I will do it to convince myself more.


    The days just passed quickly. My watering can still not burst, so we went to the hospital to be dealt


    with.


    But when I arrived at the hospital, it was there that my stomach started to hurt as if someone was


    stepping on it. It was as if something wasing out of my vagina, so I was crying in pain. It''s like


    I''m peeing that I don''t know.


    “STAN!!! STAN!!! STAAAANNN!! HOOO!” While I was in the wheelchair, I just shouted his name,


    breathed air, and they ran me to the Emergency Room. I was holding his hands, and I was feeling


    like I was hurting him. At the speed of the nurse’s push on the wheelchair, even he was already


    running.


    I can no longer ignore what is happening. My brain seems to be slowing down. All I knew was that I


    was lying somewhere, I could no longer feel the pain of my tummy. The light was on me.


    “WUAH! WUAH! WUAHHHH!” The loud cries of the baby I heard in the quiet and dark room. I saw


    some men wearing green robe dresses.


    Even though I want to look at the crying baby, I am fainting. It was as if all the strength had been


    pulled out of my body. I smiled as I slowly closed my eyes and lost consciousness. Finally, my angel


    is now born.


    When I opened my eyes, Stanley was holding my hands with a distressed expression on his face.


    When he saw me, he noticed that my eyes were wide open as if he was breathing lightly, and he


    hurriedly rose to get some water. Thank you to him, and I''m d he''s here because I need water.


    My throat is so dry that I can''t talk.


    My eyes were still a little dizzy as if I had just awoken from a long slumber.


    “How are you feeling? Does anything hurt? Will I call a nurse or doctor?” He cared about what he


    would do first, so even though I felt bad he made meugh.


    “Thank you.” That’s all I told him and smiled. I know he knows what that is for. For that from the first


    day to this day. He never forsook me and left. I can’t be sure of my heart for him, but I can promise I


    will stay by his side.


    As I sat, and we were quiet, a nurse entered. Carrying what I''ve been waiting to see. My heart is


    beating fast. It''s so joyous to feel like you''re a mother. It was as if all my past was gone and erased


    by the child moving toward me with the nurse.


    When the nurse put the baby in my arms. A series of tears I could only do because the eyes I love


    to forget are now in front of me.


    The calm sea, quiet sky.


    There is no difference between the blue eyes of the person I love and the blue eyes of my child.